I havent’t been well…but not expecting…anyway the other night I was half asleep and then suddenly… Well (TMI) i threw up on the floor. (Which I promply cleanied up I should say so this OP is not THAT disgusting.)
Anyway I mentioned this to a friend because I wanted more Resolve (I love that stuff…cleans everything) and she said SHE always made it to the toilet. And there was something wrong with me if I didn’t. But I don’t see how that’s possible.
Sometimes it just happens…and you can’t even walk let alone make it to the bathroom. (And then you clean it up…like i said this is not THAT disgusting.)
I came in here to say I agree with your friend, but then I realized I had an incident three or four years ago when that wasn’t the case. It’s not that it caught me off guard – that never happens. But I ignored the immenent danger for too long and only got half in the toilet.
Generally speaking, I’m never close to not making it. I’ve had a bad stomach flu enough times to recognize the varying levels of nausea. I suppose that with food poisoning it might be different for someone, but I can only speak to my own experience.
Ooooooooooooh yeah there’s been many a time I haven’t made it! but not for lack of trying! Oh the heroic attempts to make it there that ended in tragedy. Hand cupped over mouth, limbs crashing into walls and doorways, feet tripping over shoes left in hallway, rug sliding out from underneath you as you make that 90 degree turn into the bathroom, you feel the surge of pressure breaking through tightened sphincters in your digestive tract, the mass moving up your throat, your eyes water, your mouth fills rapidly, your lips are breeched and the forced expulsion of those last 3 burritos turns your shirt, arms, carpet and bathroom door into an installation of abstract expressionism, a true action painting!
I’m famous for puking in my trash can rather than getting up and walking literally two steps to my bathroom. I don’t like sitting in the bathroom puking, staring at the toilet grosses me out (even though my toilet is pretty clean for a toilet). I’m a pukey person (the stomach flu loves me, as does funky food appaently). It’s also more comfortable if I’m really sick to be able to stay on my bed and puke into something.
When I was a kid I puked a few places. I actually puked while I was in a bathroom because I had a bad nosebleed and got hysterical (I was 4 and got hit in the nose with a Barbie) and my dad LOVES to tell the story of how I puked ALL OVER the bathroom when a toilet was right there. And I got blood from my nose everywhere too. I let him tell the story because he had to clean it up, bwaha. My brother puked all over a rack of candy at a store. Fine one minute, the pukes all over a bunch of Snickers, etc. He made me puke in the car by grossing me out with boogers. On Mother’s Day.
Sometimes puking just happens. It’s (normally) and involuntary reaction.
I remember when I was a kid my mom leaving a trash can with a plastic bag by my bed so I didn’t have to go running to the bathroom whenever the urge hit.
I’ve only puked twice as an adult, once after surgery and once during my first and only hangover. Post-surgery puking doesn’t count here, obviously. As for the second, I made it, but only because I didn’t have very far to go. I’d felt kinda pukey for a few minutes but when I got the signal that it definitely was going to happen I only had about ten seconds to get myself in there.
What’s that you say? A *disgusting * vomit question? Well I’m glad you specified so as to differentiate it from all those *enticing * vomit threads
I’m surprised to hear we have so many adults who vomit with such frequency and apparent impunity. I’d always kind of thought that other than food poisoning or virus, it was fairly rare to vomit once you reached adulthood.
Of course, I can’t think of a thing I’d rather experience less than throwing up or being around someone else throwing up, so I may have been subconsciously taking steps to avoid these situations all these years. I’m downright phobic about it.
[WOOKINPANUB, gagging and wondering why she read this thread]
Sure, I haven’t made it to the toilet. Anymore, in fact, I’d much rather puke into a trash can while sitting on my bed or the toilet. But my preferred puking place is the bathroom sink. That way, I can have the water running at the time of vomitus (so I don’t have to stare at a puddle) and I don’t have to kneel before the porcelain throne. Don’t worry-- I clean the sink with antibacterial stuff immediately after.
And Logan- that was a very vivid description. I can only imagine how you’d describe running to the bog with a bout of the squirts.
Funny should say that…
Actually I won’t get into it, but if someone happens to merge the current vomit and pants-shitting threads together then I’ll have a story!
I’ve never actually missed the toilet, but not for lack of trying. I have sort of sensitive stomach which is known for getting upset at the drop of a hat. However, for some reason, no matter how gross I’m feeling, I still have to will myself to throw up. Obviously, I wait until I’m in position, in front of the throne before I start the willing.
I’ve missed a couple times. One of those times is the origin of an infamous phrase in my household: “I threw up in my pants.”
I was suffering a bout of the flu, and had one of those moments where I knew I had to get to the bathroom, but I was unsure of which end the explosion was going to spring forth. Taking what I considered to be the safest route, I dropped my pants and sat on the toilet, doubled over in clammy pain…
I chose wisely. However, mere seconds after, I leaned forward and threw up. In my pants.
I took them off to wash them off and soak them in the sink when the danger had passed. My husband came home and saw me as I exited in the bathroom in only a T-shirt, wet pants in hand. He asked me what in the world had happened, and I said, “I threw up in my pants.”
He stared at me for a few shocked moments, then said, slowly, “Is that just a cute way of saying you pooped your pants?”
No, you goon, it’s just what I said: I threw up in my pants! :smack: :eek: :o
I can count the number of times I’ve puked as an adult on the fingers of one hand and have three left over (thank goodness–I hate to puke!) The first time, I didn’t make it. The second time I did, and it surprised me. Even when I was a kid, I always had this “puke denial” thing going on that made me ride it out for as long as possible, because getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom constituted an act of surrender: the acknowledgement that I was, in fact, going to puke, and it was inevitable. I used to not make it a lot as a kid.
Although back then, my mom had this metal basin she called “the puking pot” that I kept next to the bed whenever I got sick. Or else I’d puke in the bathroom sink (when I made it). I don’t think I started doing it in the toilet until I got to be an older kid, and fortunately, as I mentioned above, it hasn’t been a problem in quite a few years. (Now watch–I’ll get food poisoning or the stomach flu or something right after this, just because it would be ironic).
My cat never makes it, btw. I just had to clean up a pile of lovely kitty-hork a couple of hours ago.
Okay, I have to add my gross story. As a high schooler, my first experience with alcohol was drinking strawberry wine coolers, I think I had two. I was sitting on my boyfriend’s couch and didn’t realize I was about to hurl. Anyway, since it happened so quick, I was still just sitting on the couch and as I threw up the bf reached out with cupped hands to catch it! It’s true. He caught my pink puke. Anyway, every time since then I have always made it to the toilet.
To the sink pukers: EW! What about the puke parts that don’t rinse down the drain? I would never throw up into a sink.
Thanks everyone, this has been a very interesting thread about puke. More than I thought.
And I’d like to say “disgusting” was warranted becacuse there’s probably a web site dedicatedted to that very thing …althought that’s something that’s even too much TMI even for me.
I almost puked during my Anatomy and Physiology class in my senior year of high school. I’d been fighting bronchitis all week, and had been taking erythromycin (an antibiotic). The drug cleared up the infection, but it also made me extremely nauseous.
I was sitting in class on Friday morning, fighting a particularly bad bout of nauseau, when I realized I had to puke. No getting out of it. With forty minutes to go in the class, to boot. I kept trying to get the teacher’s attention so that I could be excused, but he ignored me. I seriously contemplated throwing up in the empty fish tank next to his desk.
When I knew I couldn’t hold it in anymore I got up, walked over to the teacher and informed him that I was leaving to avoid puking on his floor. I raced to the girls’ bathroom (why is the bathroom always at the far end of the hall when you need it most?) and made it into a stall just as my breakfast made its second appearance of the day.
The girl in the next stall was less than thrilled.
Last Friday night I had the most sudden onset of food poisoning ever. One minute I’m fine. Next minute it’s everything must go!
I chose the same first option as you, but then the stomach made an imperative demand for evacuation. I grabbed a towel, put it in my lap, and filled it to overflowing with undigested lasagna and garlic bread.
After a few minutes of explosive expulsion from both ends, I surveyed the immediate area. The towel had only managed to catch about half of what I had offered it. The rest was soaking into my pants, socks and tighty whities.
Oh, joy.
I gingerly extricated myself from my befouled trousers, jockeys and socks, took the garbage bag out of the trash can, and stuffed them in. I tied the bag shut (never to be opened again). Then I hosed myself off in the shower. Then I got down on my hands and knees and cleaned up the orange, lumpy goodness.
Did I mention the aroma? Indescribable. Kind of like a toxic chemical spill in the dysentery clininc’s outhouse.
Then I hosed off again.
So…have I ever missed the toilet? Well, I wasn’t exactly aiming at it–with that end at least. Does that still count?
Last time non-alcohol-related vomiting was about 10 years ago, and it involved a jumbo chili dog and a nasty case of gastroenteritis. I didn’t make it to the toilet, and it was a godawful mess that I thankfully didn’t have to clean up.
I don’t think I’ve ever made it to the toilet while drunk-puking; my usual MO is to step outside for a bit. A party I was at last December, stepping outside wasn’t an option. I did make it to the bathroom, at least, but no further than that. I passed out immediately afterwards and so didn’t get to clean it up, but the hostess did, and I still owe her big for that one.
That very nearly happened to me last night. I woke up with this have to throw up NOW feeling and I was sure I wasn’t going to make it to the bathroom so I ran to the kitchen sink because it is a little closer. However, it was full of dishes and there was no way I was cleaning that up. I then realized that I might make it to the bathroom and so I ran and I made it.
This story does not have a happy vomiting ending however. I threw up in the toilet just fine but when I was almost done, my nose exploded into a nose bleed. I mean that is was a steady current out of my nose rather than just drops. I started throwing up again because blood was pouring down the back of my throat as well and when I started puking again, It splattered blood all over the place in small and large droplets.
I spent half an hour cleaning it up but my wife just asked me what the hell happened because she has a much better eye for detail than I do. We should have the bathroom redone in a blood and puke camouflage pattern so we don’t have to worry about that anyone.
