Giardia dog/cat diarrhea. In addition to the disgusting aspect it’s also a zoonotic hazard. You don’t want to get giardia, trust me on this.
Parvo dog diarrhea. Seriously, this stuff could be used as a biological weapon.
Anal glands. Another potential bioweapon. We should get hazard pay for expressing the glands, always be careful where you stand and wear gloves. If you get it on you, no one will come near you for the rest of the day. You won’t even want to be near you.
Saliva. I’m not talking a little drool here, I am talking the stuff that comes out of those giant breed dogs that hangs to the floor from their mouths in long ropy strands and could be used as industrial strength glue. Cleaning this stuff up is like trying to wrestle with The Blob, I swear it has a life of it’s own.
Pigeon flies: Hippoboscid flies. We often get wild birds brought to us. These flies majorly creep me out. It’s something about the way they scurry around on the bird and then fly off the bird and STRAIGHT TOWARD YOUR FACE! OMG! GET IT OFF ME!
Abscess juice and necrotic tissue. Do I need to explain? I hope not. But just to clarify a little, the chunkier the abscess is, the stinkier it is and if it’s an anal gland abscess it’s especially foul since you get the two combined smells. Had one of those right after lunch yesterday after a chicken parmegian sub. Infections and necrosis that have been fermenting inside a body cavity can get really nasty, it’s a special kind of decomposition smell. As an example, a c-section/spay where the puppies had actually died days before.
Speaking of decomposition; The pet that died out in the yard in the heat of the summer (this is Florida and it gets pretty damn hot) and the owner doesn’t bring him in to us for cremation until several hours or days later. “Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to bury him in your backyard?”
Maggots. Specifically maggots in wounds and orifices where they don’t belong. As the most experienced vet tech in the place, you’d think I’d learn to run from the room when I recognize the smell, but no, I actually have to look at the animal to confirm it and then when I look up the treatment room is empty of other staff, crickets are chirping, doors are swinging in the wind and I’m stuck doing the wound care/maggot removal. Seriously, sometimes even the vet disappears “Here give them this and this. puts some meds down on the treatment table whilst keeping a distance You seem to have it under control, I need to … uh … see another patient, yeah that’s the ticket.”
Tom Cat pee. The top potential bioweapon. Although it doesn’t leave you wretching like the nasty diarrheas and vomit, it makes your eyes burn and water, your nose hairs curl up and die, your sense of smell lose go insane and attempt to strangle your brain and your lungs try to escape your body and head for the hills and the smell … never … goes … away.