Disney World - take or send the grandkids?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Yeah. Reading up on all of the sorts of things you discuss made us wonder if this weren’t an experience best left to the younger folk.

I remember when we took our kids 25 or so years ago. We’d get there at the opening bell, rush to certain rides, and basically head back to the hotel around noon. Then folk who wanted to went back in the evening. We could spend more and more money to stay on site, buy fast pass, etc. Or we could simply pay that to give the kids/grandkids a premium experience, and stay home.

We see our kid/grandkids often. They live 10 minutes away, and are coming over for dinner tomorrow. Our kid has sent us a lengthy list of upcoming dance and music activities of which we will attend many. And, like I said, we have a vacation planned for next July.

I guess we have become old farts, because we’ve just decided that we are going to do whatever the hell we want - but AREN’T going to do things we DON’T want to do. And we will spend money freely on whatever we wish. But we will avoid just pissing away large sums of money - which frees up the money to be spend when and where we wish. In that context, I’m thinking I’d rather just send them on this trip. And then hopefully plan OTHER joint trips - to beaches, resorts, state and national parks, etc., which both families will enjoy.

Also - for those who say the younger folk could get to the park early with the grands joining later. In our case, I guarantee that my wife and I would be awake and ready to go hours earlier than my daughter/grandkids. :slight_smile:

22

I think you’re a winner in either case - what a lovely gift to your family! :grinning:

Disney is popular and involves walking + waiting a fair amount. So whether I accompanied them (or not) would depend mainly on my level of fitness and enthusiasm (plus affordability.).

23

What about going to Orlando with them, but not going to DW? There is a ton of stuff to do in Orlando. You and your wife can do your own thing while the younger folks go to DW. Then they can tell you all about the fun they had when you all get back together for dinner. I totally understand wanting to skip DW. It’s not for me, either. But the kids will likely love it and remember the trip forever. It would be great if you could be there to share in part of the experience with them even if you don’t actually go into the park.

24

Yeah, that’s a possibility. But, like I said, the sorts of “fun stuff” Orlando offers does not tend to be what my wife and I consider fun.

And, if we aren’t going to go to the park with them, just hearing about it over dinner (when the kids might be tired and cranky) seems to be getting closer to sharing photos when they get home.

Additional point not entirely determinative by itself - I’m not sure how thrilled I am about spending my vacation dollars in Florida, given political factors. I have wonderful memories of beach vacations there. But I’m just not sure how much I wish to spend my time and money in deeply red states. Yeah, I know DW itself is not “red.”

Thanks all for the great feedback. I see the poll is running closer to 50/50 than I had expected.

25

I’m answering this as an unabashed fan of DisneyWorld. I love going there on vacation when we can.

My advice: Don’t go.

Yes, you’re going to miss out on the excitement and joy and sheer magic that will enthrall your grandkids. But Disney ain’t always that, and in fact unless your grandkids are just amazingly exceptional and patient, they’re also going to get tired and cranky and likely have more than one meltdown – sometimes more than one in a given day.

If y’all loved Disney, I’d say heck yes, book that trip. But since you don’t, it’s not going to have the same appeal for you, and even experiencing the happiness and enjoyment of your grandkids won’t make up for the expense and exhaustion you’ll face. And odds are you’ll remember the meltdowns waaaay longer than you’ll remember the happiness.

If you’re willing to help defray or completely cover the cost of your child’s family going to DisneyWorld, I’d say take that option. They’ll likely be very grateful for the gift.

Question: Do you do similar things with your other two children and their families? I could see this becoming an issue among the siblings if you don’t.

26

The “right way” to do disney world is the first class way where you reserve everything in advance, wait in no lines, and have little if any control over your day(s) there. Just follow the script of whatever you reserved a few months ago.

That sucks. The alternative is to wait in endless lines while all the people with reservations cut in front of you. That sucks.

You might find DisneyLand in California is a much more approachable experience. And it isn’t hot and humid there either.

But …

You have amply shared your overall personality here on the 'Dope. As have I. I’ve never met you IRL, but I think I know you. And you probably know me.

You already resent the idea of going there. And that’s before you’ve spent a penny or stood in a line. Your personality hates feeling resentment at least as much as mine hates waiting. My advice my friend is give that crap a pass.

Go to a lake house twice, not DW once.

27

Yeah, that’s a valid concern, which we have considered. In short, we’ve decided we aren’t going to get hung up on gifting equal amounts to each of our 3 kids. If the other 2 get bent out of shape over that, that is their prerogative.

More detail, all 3 of our kids are married and employed w/ no debt other than house mortgages and possible car loans. The other 2 kids live in/near Denver. Both of those couples have indicated that they do not intend to have kids, and AFAIK have taken surgical steps.

My kid with the grandkids is easily the least well off (tho solvent) of the 3 families. Both Denver couples make considerably more, live in much bigger/nicer homes; one makes considerably more than my wife and me. We gift each kid a decent (IMO) and equal amount on their birthdays and xmas (tho we also gift the grandkids, so that family gets more.) I’m confident it means A LOT to our local kid in terms of what they are able to afford and do for enjoyment, their house, purchases, travel, kids’ experiences… We often wonder how much the 2 in Denver even notice our gifts in terms of their budget. One of those 2 is even pretty bad at even saying “Thanks for the check.” And to the extent we hear of their spending, they seem to have few limits on their ability to buy/travel pretty much whatever they want.

And we have college funds for the grandkids. I dunno - maybe someone might think we should gift the 2 childless couples similarly. We are not holding anything against them for deciding not to have kids. Their lives, their choices. If they chose to have kids, we would establish college funds for those grandkids as well.

We periodically go to Denver and they come to us, on which occasions we gladly foot the bill for whatever. In the past we have taken them on ski vacations (which their spouses did not enjoy). We are open to any other travel suggestions they might have, but they have not mentioned anything. Given the interests and personalities of our various kids and their spouses, we have been unable to come up with any one group family vacation that all would enjoy. Say renting 4 condos or a huge house near a beach, in the mountains, etc.

And we’ve clearly indicated that if they need a sizable loan/gift to buy a new home, remodel or whatever, we are available. Our wills have all of our property divided equally to the 3 kids.

So, in short, our attitude is that we wish to be generous towards all of our kids. And we’d just as soon give them stuff while we are alive - and at younger stages in their lives where they might need/appreciate it the most, as opposed to leaving it to them when we die and when they don’t need as much $. But we aren’t going to worry overmuch about gifting to them equally.

We have long joked that my wife’s “disability” is that she lacks patience. To which I suggest that a “reasonable accommodation” by the world would be that she should never have to wait in lines! :wink:

It is funny. My wife just came up with the idea of us not going last night as she was reading a bunch of DW books she took out from the library. The more I think of it - with the help of this discussion - the more the idea appeals to me.

28
Hidden

I have a deep and abiding dislike for Disney, and also don’t really enjoy crowds or loud noises or excessive heat, so I’d be likelier to pay a couple hundred bucks for the privilege of not going to Disneyworld; fortunately I have a lifelong pass that lets me not go there for free, as many times as I want.

My antipathy is enough that I wouldn’t pay my kids to go, or encourage them to go. I’d be looking at other lovely vacation spots that we could enjoy together and that would be less packaged and more delightful than what Disney has on tap.

29

Moderating:

As this is basically a threadshit, I’ll just hide it and ask no one to reply to it.

30

Yikes, didn’t mean it that way at all. Sorry!

31

I went to Disneyland the year they opened (I was 3), and I went at least once a year thereafter until my late teens. Then, I went every couple of years until I kinda just noped out. But I would go if it was accompanying someone who’d never gone before. It’s so much fun (more fun?) to enjoy an experience newly through someone else’s eyes.

I’ve never been to Disneyworld. It’s too big, too hot, too humid, too Florida.

32

The extreme humidity is only during part of the year. And even then, friends would go early in the morning, stay until about noon when the heat is particularly oppressive, go back to the hotel for lunch and a nap and then back to the parks for the evening.

33

Heh, since I never stayed at a hotel at D-land, I didn’t have that option. We usually stayed all through the day, and if we got tired, there were tons of things to do that didn’t involve standing in line.

34

Yes, there’s lots of stuff to do that avoids the lines and being out in the sun. We were at Disney World in 2008 and I remember there were things like a stage show set around the Lion King world with costumed performers and really high production values. You’d turn a corner in one of the parks and there would be something like a Chinese acrobatic troupe performing in a clearing. Really, everything was first class.

And, also, to be honest, you start to learn just how extensively Disney exploits any intellectual property it owns.

35

We took our (now much older) kids on 3 different WDW vacations, and to this day having this exact thing happen in Epcot is still their favorite memory.

36

I’m not a ride guy - I have a wonky back and a weak stomach. I’ve taken my kids to Disney World (Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Animal Kingdom) and Disneyland Paris. It was an experience for all of us, and I’m glad I went and hope they are too. On the other hand, we dropped them off at Universal Studios in Los Angeles on their own at 18 and 15 and I am happy with that choice too.

I think the grandkids would enjoy the experience with you.

37

So, a compromise. Somehow, I got a free room at Disneylands Grand Californian for three nights. My wife and I love the parks (except never go to WDW in the summer- dont do it!). She wanted to take her friend, who is mine also- but she wasnt thrilled with the parks. She stayed in the Hotel resort, and had a FANTASTIC time by the pool, walking, shopping and having dinner and breakfast with us. She also got a little writing done.

So, do the same. You guys go along with the family, but stay in one of the nicer resorts- at least a Moderate. With the Disney magic of wonderful customer service, you will enjoy the vacation. Great meals, a nice pool, some shopping, walking (if you want) etc- wont that work for you two? And maybe one day in one of the parks- Animal Kingdom if you like animals or Magic Kingdom. You can cut them loose, and meet them for lunch, dinner and maybe an attraction or two- Hall of Presidents? Whatever- somethings allow you to sit in air conditioned comfort with hardly any line.

Right.

In Disneyland there is a rope- or used to be.

Yep. We went to WDW, and ate A LOT. Afterwards when we got back home, we found out we had lost weight!

Yes, but stay in a DisneyWorld hotel with them.

Less walking. If you stay at a Disney hotel you are RIGHT there- no bus or tram or anything to get into the parks- the two parks are a short walk from each other. Better weather- period.

Yeah, that was a good choice.

38

Bwhuu? I respectfully, completely disagree.

What a wonderful gift,@Dinsdale. I think you should send them without you and your mrs. Clearly you are very generous, but that’s a heck of a lot of money to spend on something you’re not into.

39

I lost my youngest twin 2 years ago at 18 years of age. I absolutely do NOT regret taking her and all my kids to Disneyland when she was 10 (even though I’ve been there a few times and it was expensive).

You have the money, and can make the time. Gifting the trip is a wonderful thing, building memories with your grandkids is orders of magnitude better.

Jus’ sayin’

40

Total Hijack: Sorry

My Old Man was Deep in the Engineering of some crucial systems of DW.