Mandatory diversity training should not be an issue here. However, being required to bring something that is supposed to represent your diversity (uniqueness?) might very well be an issue. At the same time, non-participation might result in some sort of retaliation, which is an issue.
I suggest contacting the state or federal EO office and ask some questions. If you do, seek second-level support. Otherwise you risk getting someone who is merely the gatekeeper.
I had/have the same issues at work. Sometimes you cannot be true to yourself and the “man” at the same time. As for what you can do, you could always try to bring in a piece of road/pavement. I did this once and when they asked me how it represented me i said “It’s Asphalt. It represents me because whenever something goes wrong it always seems to be this Asses fault.” When the laughter died down I just said “My humor is what is important to me. I am not always able to be 100% myself here so humor is important to help me make it through the day.” I pretty much get a pass now whenever we have to attend a “share and grow” team building or something like that because of that day.
Joe
“This is my bong. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My bong is my best friend…”
A dozen assorted doughnuts. Because diversity should be important to everyone.
Then, eat doughnuts!
I’d probably bring something ethnic, but from an ethnicity wildly divergent from my own.
If you’re of Japanese ancestry, for example, bring bagpipes.
If you’re American Indian, wear a yarmulke.
Then, when asked to explain why it’s important to you, start crying and run from the room.
I would have a very hard time with this (stupid, pointless) exercise. I am a straight, white female, but I really don’t like it when companies try to get all personal. I’m here for a paycheck, you will happily cut my job if it suits you, and I will leave when it suits me. Let’s not get all touchy-feely about this stuff.
I would have to think of something that comes right up to the line of appropriate, but doesn’t quite cross it. Gotta say that meat cleaver idea is better than anything I can think of.
I brought in this miniaturized spy cam today. I’ve always liked spy stuff and I have all sorts of gear to spy on people. I spend hours every day seeing what people are up too. It’s interesting what people like you guys will do when they think nobody can see them.
This is my medicine bottle. This is what keeps me from believing that you’re all KGB reptilians from a parallel dimension. Note that it’s almost empty.
Now, was someone saying something about our health insurance’s prescription plan being cut back?
I’ve never had to do this but would be completely stumped if my company did this exercise.
Bring in a “snake in a can” and pass it around telling people that your hobby is to collect lost souls from cemeteries. Explain why you might be seen saving chicken bones from lunch for use in various ceremonies. Describe what the souls look like in the container and why you have to let them out at least once a day in the office to exorcise. Open can. Then explain you come from a long line of practical jokers and it’s a deep part of your heritage.
Just go with the flow and bring in something cute that would not make you look like a paranoid freak who will kill them all in a firey rage. Hell, make something up if it makes you feel better. Go out to a farm and have someone take a picture of you next to a horse and tell them about how you loooove horse back riding. Find a house with beautiful gardens and take a picture of yourself in a big straw hat in front of the flowers and talk about how you looooove growing flowers. Get a cheap apron and talk about how you are learning to cook and bring in a couple of recipes to share.
They just want to cover their ass in case of future problems with harrassment. I suggest you use this opportunity to cover your ass by looking like a good team player and bringing in something non-threatening.
I think the donut idea is genius!
I hope no one at my work hears about this. We get really stoopit training all the time, and I can just see someone from Management Row thinking this is super neato-keen! :rolleyes:
I’d be inclined to go to the dollar store and buy some cheap piece of crap - you know, an heirloom that my dear departed Granny left me… <cue tears>
There are lots of subdivisons of “white.” There must be some kind of regional or ethnic heritage you could fall back on. If you have some Irish in you, bring some Guinness. Bring some kind of regional cuisine. If you really are so completely homogenous, both ethnically and regionally (which I think would be impossible), then make something up. Say you’re half-Scottish and bring some bagpipes. I’ve had to do crap like this before. It’s easy.
Yeah, but what if you’re adopted?
I mean, what if ***I ***were?
I mean I was, but what if I were the OP, and I was adopted?
Just ask to borrow someone else’s show and tell object and say you adopted his thing as your own. See how easy it can be?
Bring in a plastic spoon, a car battery and some raw squid. When people ask you what it means to you, get offended that no one understands your culture even though it is perfectly obvious then storm out of the room. Bonus points if you go to HR and register a complaint that people are being insensitive to your culture.
It’s true though. I’m really just a White Guy. Of the contributors to my DNA, the most recent arrival to North America was in the early 1800s. Most were here to build the docks for the Mayflower.
I did end up explaining that I’d brought my body to work today. Funny, with a little explanation it went over pretty well, actually. There are some things that only I can get away with.
But I also really liked the meat cleaver idea.
[script for diversity show & tell meeting]
I am a member of a misunderstood and often persecuted minority.
I have had to keep this fact secret for fear of harassment in the workplace.
Now, with this new inclusive diversity initiative, I feel free to share with you who I really am:
My name is <name>, and I’m a gun owner and sport handgun shooter.
In this lockable, hard-shelled briefcase I have brought something that is near and dear to my…
Oh well, guess the meeting ended early…
[/script for diversity show & tell meeting]
Hello everybody this is Harvey.
[Scenario 1]
My name is <name>, and I am of English descent. While other peoples were lounging indolently at ease, my ancestors were out conquering an empire that spanned the globe. My people’s language is the gold standard for trade and technology. My people’s calendar is used the world over. My people spurred the development of advanced medical and dental techniques. Yet we are disparaged as White Bread and Bland. Well, I’m here to change that…
<cue riots>
[Scenario 2]
Saluton. Mia nomo estas <name>, kaj mi parolas Esperanton.
(Simultaneous translation) Hello. My name is <name>, and I speak Esperanto.
Tio ĉi montras la plibonecon de centrala planado kaj regado. Ju pli liberece, des pli malordigado, des pli malefikeco…
This demonstrantes the advantages of central planning and control. The more liberty, the more disorder, the more inefficiency…
<cue clapping from Big Bosses, then riots…>
[sub]Disclaimer: I don’t necessarily believe either of these…[/sub]