Congrats! Been there, I remember the elation.
Can I come back to this thread in 3 years and celebrate with you guys?
Sure, I’ll buy the beer.
The ex, in behavior typical of her, now spends a lot of time carping at my daughter about how broke she is and what a gigantic asshole I am. My daughter will be moving into her dorm room for college in a couple weeks and she knows she is welcome to stay with me, free, on semester breaks and in the Summer. The ex, and her live-in boyfriend, are cordially invited to go fuck themselves and begin living on a more modest income. The “j” word might have even become a part of the ex’s vocabulary again.
juxtaposition?
hiJack, I think. 
What’s the date, Manson? We can all have a dope party. Well, a party on the dope. The Dope. Here. I mean here. and probably, there will be dope.
“Job.”
Oh Scum, we gotta get you a sense of humor.
Good feelings indeed. It wasn’t about the money, it was about NOT being obligated to my ex anymore.
+1 qft
If you are really friends with this divorced couple the best thing that you can do is to tell them to get over the hate and move on. Knock it off. The time for arguments has passed. They cannot any longer control the behavior of the other party. They can’t. Be it Facebook, school issues, clothing choices, what ever, they really need to be cooperative about the children.
To remain antagonistic after the divorce really puts the child in a bad place. They will be stressed out by division of their loyalties to either parent. The child becomes the taffy pulled between both sides. They will withdraw from both or have to settle on which will be the enemy. This is very damaging to the child at a critical period in their development into adulthood.
Omar Little, if you are really friends with these people you should find a polite way to slap them both. Their animosity will be carried by the child, soon to be an adult, and it isn’'t going to be pretty.
They are damaging this young person. Tell them to stop. It is no longer about either of the parents, it is about support and love for the young person. If they don’t stop this they are being selfish.
Guess I’m slow on the uptake - what is the “J” word?
I would support sticking to your guns - what you post on Facebook isn’t any business of hers and it’s the start of a very slippery slope because, as many others have said, it’s more about control than Facebook per se.
I would cation about saying that you’ll never post pictures on your son on your facebook page - at least not if you plan on posting yourself. Even if you refrain from posting a bunch of pictures of him deliberately, it’s amazing how hard it is to keep someone out of your feed if you and others post pictures from holidays and other similar family celebrations. My daughter has a strict no social media posting policy for her daughter, and it can be difficult to post family reunion pictures if there are some people who can not be put on any social media in the middle of everything.
When my ex- pulled some shit on me early in the process of our divorce (He wanted me to pay him for supplies when the kids had birthday parties during the times he was watching them because he paid “all that child support” before everything went through and thus he hadn’t paid a dime) I complained to my lawyer who had his lawyer tell him to cut it out. You might go that route as well.
I think it could be tricky.
I work with special needs kids and when we are out to events sponsored by some group we always have to sign a release saying if we would allow our kids picture to be used somewhere like in a promotional flyer.
Thing is groups are always looking for the cute kids in wheelchairs. They will put the kids face on a flyer, raise a $1 million off of it, and the kid wont see a penny of it.
When I’m at an event and I see a kid like that I always warn the parents about signing off the rights to their kids image. Better to make a deal than to hand it over - unless your ok with that.
So I can see wanting to keep the rights to your kids picture private.
My first thought was "jail"but given the context - a removal of financial support - I’m pretty sure he meant “job.”
We don’t know anything about this couple, or whether this guy can be trusted not to post inappropriate photos of their son. Hopefully they have mutual friends who can be trusted to report anything inappropriate to facebook, which is good about immediately blocking anything tasteless including a minor.
It’s a truly horrible feeling knowing that your child is about to be trusted to the care of someone whose judgement is questionable. And it’s not that unusual for people to go a little adolescent-crazy right after a divorce. My own father put my brother and I in some hairy situations during visitation weekends.
There is nothing she can do. Twelve is old enough for him to have a phone. Teach him how to call 911 if he needs to.
The divorce was just recently finalized…ink is still wet on the decree. I agree it may take a year or two for things to settle down.
To my knowledge they are not putting the kid in the middle, literally. They are actually being pretty good about things in front of him. She is very much a control person, and is using her care for her son as a tool against her ex. This isn’t about Facebook, this is about her losing her control.
They are both decent parents, and there shouldn’t be any concern that either should have when the kid is with the other parent.
What the hell does this have to do with parents that are divorced and have joint custody of their kid?
I agree.
The problem with agreeing about the FB photos is that it’s likely completely unfounded. If he agrees to this, then there will be something else she’ll ask about, then something else, etc. On the face of it, I don’t think her request is reasonable unless she has some basis to be worried about the photos he will post. Was he doing that when they were married and she had to monitor him? Probably not. I’m guessing she has never said anything about any photo he has ever posted. If this truly was the only request she made of him, then I would think it’s fine to give in. But given that the request is likely based in a need for control rather than any true concern about his photos, I say don’t give in. He should be free to post photos of his kid on FB just like every other parent does.
Personally, I think she’s pissed about being blocked and ignored. In response to that, she’s creating unfounded excuses for needing access to his facebook. I’m guessing she really wanted access to cyberstalk him to find out what he’s doing.
Does he post a lot of pictures, typically?
I will say this. It would fucking break my heart if I constantly had friends saying things like “I loved that picture of Jack at soccer game! He looked so cute!” and I had to be like “I wouldn’t know. I didn’t see it.”; “Jack sure was having a good time in that picture from scouts the other day! Where were they?” and I’m like “I don’t know.”
I don’t really Facebook. Do you have to be friends to tag someone? If so, I don’t think it would be unreasonable to ask to be tagged in photos of him. It’s a shitty thing to share pictures of your kid with everyone else except his other parent. To have mutual friends seeing all these pictures of your kid that you were literally forbidden to see.
Sounds like she’s grasping at straws for a reason to justify being mad about him blocking her w/o warning. It’s the kind of petty argument I would have made in my younger years when I thought control was affection and people whose attention I wanted needed to be monitored by me. ( I wasn’t thinking these things at the time, mind you, it’s looking back now I see it.)
Omar, it’s really none of your business.