Let’s say that you and I don’t know each other from Adam, but for whatever reason I’m in a position to spend a little time here and there with your kids (say, as a coach, Sunday School teacher, or whatever). I’ve snapped a pic of your kid doing something adorable and posted it on Facebook.
Somehow, some way, you run across the picture of your kid. He is not identified (“This is Cecil Adams, Jr., who goes to Ed Zotti Elementary School in Chicago and is on the pee wee football team that I coach”) but the caption says something mundane and vague, like “One of the pee wee football kids chilling after practice” or whatever.
I would probably be OK with it, as long as there was no hint of anything that wasn’t totally innocent, but I’d rather the person checked with me first.
That said, my wife’s business involves contact with lots of kids. I maintain her website and we always make sure we get explicit permission from parents whenever we publish a photo where children are visible. And these are people who know her well and trust her.
Don’t think you’re a cretin, but there’s a huge grey area between ‘totally inappropriate’ and all the ‘ok’ responses.
I don’t know about the law in the States, but here there’s often a clause in application forms (kid’s school / holiday programmes / sports groups etc) where they get you to sign permission for photos to be taken and used for publicity. It’s to cover exactly the set up in the OP, plus local papers covering events and such.
Parents have the right to opt out but AFAIK seldom do.
I’ve also had a few parents (and grandparents) just ask casually if they can take pics before or after this sort of thing. That’s the unwritten poll option I’d have checked.
I think without at least one degree of consanguinity that it would be just uncomfortable as hell to have someone you don’t know posting pics of your kid that you didn’t know were taken.
People are always posting pictures of my kids on Facebook without my permission! Of course, my kids are 19 and 22, and the people are usually their friends (no naked/drunk pics so far!), so I don’t really care.
I’d be okay with having a minor child’s picture shared if she were in a group and not identified individually. If the picture were of my child individually, I’d like to be asked first. And if it was a picture of my child participating in an official activity (Scouts, school, sports, etc.), I’d expect to have been given the opportunity to say whether or not you could post or publish pictures of my child. I know I was always presented with a photo release form at the beginning of every school year for just this purpose.
Anyway, if it was an individual snapshot I wouldn’t freak out because my kids are all over Facebook, but I would think you were kind of rude for not checking with me first.
If a group/team/class photo then I wouldn’t give a shit.
Is posting pictures of other peoples’ kids all you do? That would ping my creepometer. Otherwise it’s fine, just don’t tag the kid’s name without parental permission.
My kids faces are visible in public all the time IRL, so I can’t say it would bother me to see them on Facebook. After all, if a newspaper took a pic at some public event and it happened to include them, I wouldn’t expect to be asked even if it was all over the front page.
Now if you post names and addresses, that’s creepy
I think it would be *polite *of you to check with the parents first, e.g. ‘hey, I’d like to post this great picture of Arthur, I won’t identify him in any way, just wanted to show an example of a kid doing XYZ. Is that okay with you?’
If you were my friend, or a parent of my child’s friend and they were doing something together (over visiting or something), I’d be fine unless the picture itself was inappropriate for some reason.
Otherwise, just posting pics of my kid with asking (or saying upfront that you might do that at the being of the sport season etc), I might be a little put out.
I voted last week saying “I’d be OK with it if we knew each other better.” but then one of my friends who I DO know well, did it, and I’m pissed off, so I should possibly change my vote!
Backstory for those interested - I’d asked her to watch my kid for two mins while I answered a call of nature, came back, collected my kid, we said our goodbye and left. When I got home, she’d posted photos of my daughter to my facebook wall, my sisters facebook, and on her own facebook with me tagged in them. I wasn’t in the photos, her child wasn’t in the photos, and I hadn’t even known she was taking pictures while I was otherwise engaged.
Is it just me, or was that a bit weird?
I can’t imagine what sort of person would think it OK without asking. I’d be furious.
I like mine and my children’s privacy too much to allow that sort of intrusion.
I was similarly annoyed when I found out some friends of ours were giving a pretty much blow by blow account on facebook of our stay with them, along with photos.
I can’t comprehend of doing anything remotely similar. I found it incredibly thoughtless of them. Surely you would think to check with us before sharing our movements to hundreds of people that we don’t know?
If we weren’t talking about facebook and I took it upon myself to take photos of your family and write down your itinerary and show it all in person to several hundred friends of mine that you don’t know…would you be comfortable with that?
I’m just not comfortable with strangers knowing what I’m doing. Certainly not comfortable with it being broadcast to hundreds of them.
I don’t even like my extended family knowing my movements never mind strangers.
If you were a stranger who was stalking me to do this, yes, that would be a bit weird. But in the context of a visit to your home? Sure, what’s so weird about telling people you have houseguests visiting and sharing the details of the visit?
To answer the OP, I’d be okay with it as long as there was nothing creepy about it (like, as has been mentioned, posting photos of other people’s kids is the only thing you ever post, or whatever).
That, all of that. That is what’s weird. It is a completely alien mindset to me.
If you are telling a couple of mutual friends in passing that is one thing. Prior to social media that is about the worst that could happen. A* few* people get to know and see a* little *bit.
But a blow by blow account of a visit? complete with pictures? complete with reportage of things I’ve said? (often misinterpreted or out-of-context) and broadcast to a couple of hundred people that I don’t know?..without even asking my permission? That is a different beast altogether.
I get that I seem to value my privacy more that others do with theirs, others can feel free as they like to share themselves with the world but I just can’t imagine why they think it is OK to do it for me as well.
