I’m friends with someone who is going through a divorce relatively soon. There are two kids involved.
He was doing the math with his lawyer and the proposed agreement thing (decree?) - the way it works out with child support, day care, college stuff, etc. he only ends up having a take-home paycheck of $400/month. That’s barely enough to rent an apartment!
She makes probably $20k more than he does, yearly. I’d understand more if the wife didn’t work, or didn’t finish her schooling to raise the kids, or whatever, but they’re both degreed professionals and her career is way more advanced.
I suppose my general question is, “What the heck?!” I understand providing for the kids and all, but how can he be a good part-time dad if he can’t afford a place to live? Not to mention the little things like power and heat…
Is there anything he can do, or is this just the way it goes?
IANAL, but I believe that your friend may have to either find a better-paying job, or take on an additional part-time one. On the face of it, it seems only fair that the partner earning the most money should bear the brunt of child-care expenses, but I’ll tell you why this wouldn’t work: cuz there are plenty of deadbeat dads out there (and no, I don’t mean a majority of dads, just plenty) who would stay in low-paying jobs for the sole purpose of having to turn over less money to “that crazy bitch”. There are also moms out there who would take or stay in lower paying jobs just to spite their ex-husbands. Not logical? No. But people do lots of irrational things while in the grips of divorce.
hey we were just talking about this in the pit:D
Seriously though- from a non pit point of view- What happens when you can’t live on what is left? If you take a lesser paying job, the state calls it “voluntary underemployment” and they don’t lower your payment, However, what do they do if its not enough for you to live with? (this is assuming the payee petitioned the court for a lower payment because there is not enough to live on)
So he is making 3 separate payments? I pay child support to my ex for our two kids and It’s just the 25% CS. Day care comes out of that.
Of course my ex makes well over 3 times what I make so my child support means nothing exept to make her luxuries that more available. For example, she spends $250 on haircuts and coloring at least 6-10 times a year, trips to Hawaii, new car, and expensive clothes.
IANAL, but shouldn’t b, oth parents contribute to upkeep of the kids, regardless of their relative incomes? I have 2 factual pieces of advice -
1 - look into what handy said about the taxation of money paid out, including whether the earned income credit applies. This might really change what financial picture he is looking at.
2 - Is this the court’s final answer, or the first pass? He should make sure he has all the facts about his after-tax income, then make his case for a reasonable standard of living.
The second job might be a reasonable expectation. It costs more to support 2 households than 1, and if they were just getting by before, that additional expense needs to get covered somehow.
I pay child support and it is not tax deductible in any way. It is income to me and my ex does not declare it. This differs from alimony in that alimony is usually deductible to the payor and taxable to the recipient.
I really struggled to pay what was required. It comes out to a bit over a third of my take home pay. Not much you can do about it though, so your friend may need to take on another job.
Yeah, I had to pay day care over and above the child support myself. And the payments are not tax-deductible. He should try very hard to lobby the court to either reduce his payment of the day care or have it eliminated. This seems to be the only amount that can be negotiated (for me it was).
Laws vary greatly from place to place. He needs to work this out reasonably if possible with his ex. When I was divorced we looked at it as putting our childrenand their welfare first. I knew that if my ex were to be strapped for cash forever he sould end up resenting the kids and the KIDS would end up being the big losers in the end. If she has any maturity (which she may very well not) she will see that, Unfortunately divorces are often clouded with bitterness and a desire to make the other party suffer.
It should be eqitable with the assets and liabilities being devided equally. In our state, my ex ended up paying 30% of his gross income (no it is not tax deductable) for 3 kids. Daycare comes out of that amount - college is provided for equally by both of us. We both work we shoudl both be able to save for their education.
Getting the courts to agree on an equitable settlement might not always be feasible though.
From my experience alot of men just don’t pay it. Also they can stay with their folks to save money. Take the bus, get two jobs, etc. There was a big book I read that’s great on the subject: Child Custody Made Simple: Understanding the Laws of Child Custody and Child Support – Webster Watnik; Paperback
“I pay child support and it is not tax deductible in any way. It is income to me and my ex does not declare it.”
That doesn’t quite make sense to me. How can your paying support be income to you?
I am a lawyer who has done a fair amount of divorce work.
The questions in the OP, as stated, are largely meaningless. This is because there is no indication of what jurisdiction is involved and, as a previous poster stated, laws vary greatly among states. In Missouri, for instance, child support is ordinarily calculated using a document called a “Form 14”; it is a bit like filling out a tax return, and is generally considered the starting point for all child support discussions. If one were to present this form to a court in another state, however, one would likely get nothing but blank stares.
By all means your friend and his wife, through their lawyers, should try to arrive at an equitable settlement. In particular, it seems likely that provisions about college tuition could be subject to adjustment; is this a private college that is being discussed? Is your friend sure he is obliged by law to pay tuition after his child reaches majority?
As for the question of how child support can be income to the payor, it is more accurate to say that the money he earns from which he pays the child support is counted as his income. He does not get to deduct child support on his taxes, but then, if he and his wife remained married, he would not get to deduct from his taxes the money he spent on clothes and food for the children, an apportioned part of his rent or mortgage, etc.
I guess someone needs to find a better paying job!
As Neil Sedaka says “breaking up is hard to do”
Maybe I am not sympathetic because my ex is a dead beat dad. He refuses to work. Hasn’t paid child support in years! My ex felt that he didn’t have enough money after paying child support to pay for his drugs and booze so he just quit working all together.