So is the law against infidelity or having sex with a workmate?
Adultery. But simple adultery isn’t enough. It has to be something that will either impact the ability of the adulterer to perform their duties, or otherwise affect the unit or the service in general. PFC having a drunken one night stand with a civilian? Unlikely to be prosecuted. Brigadier General having multiple affairs, over many years, with officers under their direct command, with some sort of coercive sexual harassment (sex for positive reviews), that becomes public and is widely covered by the press? You betcha that’ll be prosecuted.
This is a pretty good overview.
IANAL, but it strikes me that threatening to report someone for a criminal offense unless they give you something of value (in this case uncontested custody) is pretty much the textbook definition of blackmail – a felony. I’d be very careful following this advice.
But if the person responsible isn’t married then all of this behavior is suddenly fine? Well maybe not fine, but no longer the same offense. I’m not really following the logic here.
Just for the record, in my son-in-law’s case, the alleged infidelity is taking place between two soldiers of similar rank. The woman is a couple of years younger and is also an MP in his platoon. I believe they are of similar, if not identical rank.
The evidence of infidelity includes thousands (seriously) of text messages sent over the past couple of months. That part is provable. According to my daughter, the text of the text messages is along the lines of “I love you” and “you make me so happy”. This, of course, is not provable. My daughter has said that she knows of other women who have gone to their husbands’ commands with similar problems and nothing ever comes of it. Is this kind of thing really the sort of thing that the Army would be interested in chasing down? Is there any advantage to my daughter in pursuing it?
Truthfully, I never really liked the guy. Over time, I grew to tolerate him, even taking him to football games and stuff. Now, I’ll be glad to be rid of him, though our grandson complicates matters. I am hopeful that this will be a growing and learning experience for my daughter and she will come out of it a stronger, wiser person.
No, but it’s my understanding that JAG officers can provide servicemembers with assistance with things like writing wills or arranging power of attorneys.
It’s not “from when the fundies took over”, it’s “from before infidelity was taken out of civil codes”.
Well she could push it higher and higher until it gets attention. He may not get court martialed but just non judicial punishment. Since we are currently in a large draw down they are chaptering out soldiers with article 15s left and right. So he is now in a job in which they will force him to pay child support with an allotment from his check every month. Pushing the adultery change could get him fired and unemployed. I’m not sure what kind of advantage that will give her but at least she’ll have revenge.
Attempting to ruin the career of the person you expect to pay you child support doesn’t seem very wise.
This. There’s no advantage to revenge. If SIL isn’t causing trouble with the divorce, a clean break with future child visitation is best for all concerned, especially as there isn’t much in the way of property or assets to squabble over.
If SIL is causing trouble, then she might consider other options.
Isn’t this essentially the same argument that’s been made against gay people being in the military, that it would effect unitary cohesion?
I was in the Navy when it was only us guys on a carrier, so I can’t speak much about workplace romances in the military.
However, working in a civilian job afterwards, I knew an office manager was sleeping with at least two of her subordinates over the course of a three year period. (The positions the subordinates filled was minimum wage/hourly, and had a moderate turn over rate in terms of employment duration.)
There was snickering gossip, jealousy, and accusations of favoritism at various times because of it. It’s amazing how many adults… aren’t.
While work got done, at various times morale was impacted negatively.
I can’t see why it would be any different while in the military.
My wife managed a fast-food restaurant for a while. Even without the distraction of any office romances, the interpresonal issues were bad. And… the worst teenagers were the 40-year-old ones.
But yes, why screw over the guy you want to provide child support?
Just cut your losses and leave, if he’s a royal dick his son will figure it out sooner or later.
It may have been minimum wage, but the fringe benefits sound good. Is she hiring?
That branch office got closed.
Going back to the OP, and jurisdictions:
I was stationed in Hawaii, soon-to-be-ex was living in Iowa. I filed, the court sent her copies of the paperwork. There were some delays caused by the need to sign more papers, which always came up when I was at sea, so they had to wait until I was back in port. Then the courthouse somehow lost all the paperwork, and since they insisted on having original papers, with original signatures - copies wouldn’t suffice - there was another delay while I signed everything again and the lawyer resubmitted it. A few months after that, I transferred to Scotland. The matter finally went before the judge in Hawaii about two months after I arrived in Scotland, he signed off on it, and I was a free man again.
No actual involvement by the Navy at all.
Section 134 (which is where the adultery bit comes from) includes a lot of stuff. There aren’t actually that many sexually related offenses.
Most 134 offenses fall into two categories, serious crime, or crimes that “bring discredit upon the armed forces.” Adultery falls under the later. Just like the military will imprison you and then kick you out for not paying your debts. Not because it is some horrific crime, but because it impunes the honor of the military.
It isn’t the sex that makes adultery an offense, although that is probably a factor. It is the breaking of an oath. Perjury and wearing an unauthorized insignia, also are treated vastly more seriously than in civilian courts.
Drum God, I was in an almost exactly the same situation 2 years ago. My daughter is now divorced from a former military member (Air Force). There were also allegations of adultery. She filed for her divorce in Texas while he was still on active duty and stationed in California. In my daughters case she had established residency in Texas with the children for over a year.
Him being in the military will not affect custody or child support that all goes by state law. Pushing the UCMJ adultery charges can only make things worse. If he gets kicked out of the military the children could have no health benefits.
Also as a 20 vet of the Air Force myself, I have seen many divorces and I can tell you without a doubt the military will not represent either the spouse or the military member. At best they will direct them to a civilian lawyer.
Mac (lurker since 1999)As others have noted, in this particular circumstance, if she pushes the adultery issue with the military she gains little if anything and stands to lose a great deal in terms both of his ability to make CS payments if he is demoted or released, and military medical coverage benefits which can a be pretty big deal for a young single mother with child.
She needs to think about this strategically.
I thought that Lawrence v. Texas taught us that private sexual conduct was untouchable by the government…Was Kennedy wrong?