I was married for 4 1/2 years and divorced in December of 1979. He stayed in this town for a while(he wasn’t from my area) and then I think he moved back to Virginia, where he spent part of his childhood. Not sure actually. But he did remarry and have a child here because the kid was born the same week as a cousin’s child. I think they were even in the nursery at the same time, so I sneaked a look. But we have not communicated since February of 1980, when we sold the house we had lived in. I don’t think of him too much, but he does cross my mind once in a while.
My husband was married for 8 years (his ex walked out on their 7th anniversary) and his divorce was finalized about a month or two before we met. There were no children and no alimony. He spoke to her on the phone once just before he and I got married. She’s never tried to contact him.
He and I happened to be back where he and she used to live. Her parents still live in the same house (we saw their name on the mailbox) but he has no idea what became of her. She’s never registered at any of the school sites and he doesn’t know if she remarried. I know he’s wondered on occasion what’s become of her and I used to imagine these bizarre scenarios of meeting her, but she’s never been an issue in our life together.
My second husband & I didn’t have any kids. We were married for about 4 or 5 years. He lives in the same subdivision as I, so sometimes I see him while driving. We divorced as amicably as we could. Sometimes I see guys from his office at a certain restaurant downtown, and they always stop by my table to talk & hug necks. I rarely think about my ex, though. We’ve been divorced for about 4 years, but the past life that I had with him seems like a dream-world now.
My ex and his family are textbook examples of a dysfunctional family taken up a notch.
I actually think about them fairly often because I use them as bad examples whenever I give advise.
I guess I’m the strange one, I think about my ex a lot. Probably because he died (at 36) two years after we divorced ('97), and I have a lot of guilt. Like LindyHopper, we dated/lived together 7 years and were married 7 years, most of them good ones. We started dating when I was 15 so he had a huge influence on my formative years. No kids. No question of who kept the cat (me). Finally cleared out the last of the stuff (a box I had forgotten about) a few months ago; cried and cried thinking about him. It’s very sad.
I rarely think of him.
I got married in 1996 when I was 19(!) and he was 24. I moved from Las Vegas to South Carolina to be with him… I’m still in SC - he probably is not. We were divorced in a (mostly) amicable manner. Our divorce was final within days of our 1 year anniversary.
Thankfully we didn’t have children or even joint bills.
It seems very surreal to me now when, out of the blue, I’ll remember that I was married once. It feels like a lifetime ago.
I think of my first husband sometimes, but the situation is a little different. We did have a child together, but it was before we were married. And together, we gave the child up for adoption.
We have an open adoption, though. We both still see our daughter and know her and her family (she’s 13 now). She and her family will sometimes mention him, so I do know that he’s remarried and has another child with his wife.
I haven’t seen him but once or twice since our divorce 11 years ago. He’s not a jerk, and never was. It was all me, and I can say that honestly. I wish him all the best.
I think of my ex all the time. He was a pretty good guy, all around, but we just weren’t in love. I wouldn’t have spent so much time with him if he wasn’t a nice guy. He’s still got my stuff, and since I’m not allowed to return to the US if I go to Canada to pick it up, I imagine he’ll send it down to me.
My son’s father is thought of only briefly once a month when I have to email Child Maintenance Enforcement to remind them that I haven’t received that months’ payment.
I am dealing with the financial repercussions (IRS, collection agencies) of my failed marriage, so unfortunately, I tend to think about it every day. :mad:
Last time we spoke was at our divorce hearing in April 2001.
I wish I could have kept the ex family, because I really got along with everybody else just fine. Of course, I am now a double-plus ungood crimethinker in their eyes…
Phouchg
Lovable Rogue
HA! you beat me to it!.. ditto
I also have dreams about her once in a blue moon. Thats when I wake up in a cold sweat and say to myself… “it was just a dream Shakes, it was just a dream…”
I don’t think about either of two, unless somebody asks me about them 
The second ex have contacted me few times this past year since we are officially “friends”, though there is no bond between us at all.
Good thread. Very interesting indeed.
I’m really surprised at how many people claim to “feel sorry for who ever their ex’s are with now”.
It’s really more of a reflection of you. YOU chose to MARRY THEM. Afterall, what kinda person would marry a person THAT bad?
Never been married… but I think of all the men who have passed through my life every so often. I have no harsh feelings for any of them. I learned more about myself through each of them… and I feel so fortunate.
Mith- obviously, it would seem you have no idea how much being married can change a person.
I think of my ex occasionally, and she’s not even my ex yet. The divorce is final in March. I admit, the lecherous parts of me miss certain things that we did (or did together) but overall I am happier with my soon-to-be-fiance.
I have 2 kids with the almost ex. It makes things exceedingly messy, and I foresee a custody battle in our future. She has them (physically). I am beginning to think this is a bad idea.
I was with my ex for 7.5 years. I hardly ever think of her.
Occasionally she sends me an email demanding I refinance the loan on my car (long story), to which she receives a carefully-worded NO.
Apart from that, no contact, no thoughts of her etc. And that’s the way I like it. To be blunt, I wasted enough of my life thinking of her when we were together. I’m not wasting another second thinking of her now that it’s over.
Max.
I’ve been divorced for 10 years or so.
My ex and I don’t talk, but have friends in common. Sometimes I think about him, seldom fondly. Mostly its a case of “good riddence.”
Mith, people change. Sometimes you marry someone and then discover they play mindgames. Or they cheat. Or they have poor financial habits. What seemed like a perfectly ordinary nice person, once you lived with them and knew them intimately, turned out to be spouse from hell. In my case, my ex cheated, was financially irresponsible, became bad at holding jobs. The cheating, I knew about before we married and made the mistake of forgiving. The financial habits and job problems came later. Fortunately, for both of us, he eventually cheated with his soulmate (who was cheating on her husband). I understand that they are wonderfully happy cheating on each other ten years later. So, I don’t feel sorry for her - they seem ideal for one another. I do feel vaguely sorry for their kids, who are stuck living with the drama they enjoy having around themselves.
I have developed scoliosis in a few vertabrae between my shoulder blades where my ex hit me with a bat.
Yes… I think of her fairly often.
I think of my ex rarely. I’m completely apathetic…I simply don’t care one way or another about him. Which is good, I suppose, because I used to wish he’d be hit by a semi.
I don’t think of him in any way other than he’s my son’s sperm donor. We have contact regarding our son and that’s about it. I don’t wish him any harm, in fact, I don’t wish him anything.
I was married for 14 years, and we have a child together, so not only do I think about her, but we’re in contact several times a week. The divorce was difficult, but we’ve grown alot since going through it and we’ve become much better friends than we were spouses. I talk to my former in-laws frequently and we make sure that the Queen of the Universe (our daughter) sees all of her grandparents as much as is possible. My former in-laws were very, very good to me and I still love them both dearly. Everyone who has to endure the pain of divorce should be so lucky as me.
I was married for a year out of a seven year term. We have a beautiful daughter - I’m condemmned to follow them around for the next ten years being a great father. The sex has been better with other women since then (eight years ago) I’m glad It’s over but I see and have to deal with her schedule three times a week. Could have been much worse and my heart goes out to all who divorce.
Too bad we aren’t forced to take some tests and get written contracts before we make such legally and financially destructive decisions with our lives.