I’ve been divorced for almost two years now and I still get mad/worked up when talking to my ex. We have to talk because we have children together. I feel like I try to be calm but he always seems to have an “I’m better than you” attitude. I’m not saying that I’ve never been a witch, I’m just tired of dealing with him. Just wondering if anyone else has been in the same boat…
(Feel free to comment if I left out an option) 
Divorced two years. She’s sitting on the other sofa now - came to visit for the weekend. We still own a house together and get on fine, despite some speed bumps along the way.
Now, the girl I went out with after my ex wife… my fists curl with rage when I think of her, and I truly never want to see her again, in this life or the next. Partly because I’m still very physically attracted to her despite her having the ugliest most two-faced lying cheating excuse for a personality I’ve ever met. I need to let it go, but I can’t; not yet anyway. She hurt me badly, and I’m still suffering from the effects. I have successfully avoided her for an entire year, but she’s going to be at a party I’m at next month - one I really can’t miss as it’s a good friend’s birthday - and I’m not looking forward to it at all.
Which one?
My divorce was very friendly and we still go on vacations together and things. We’re very good friends.
It was quick, we didn’t have anything to keep us in contact and we haven’t communicated in any way since it was finalised. Theoretically I’m sure we could track one another down if we had to but luckily we don’t have a reason to. He is… an irrelevance in my life, I would say, which is the best I could have hoped for. I don’t wish him any ill will (any more) but I’m grateful he’s no longer any part of my life.
My ex was a lawyer. :smack:
My ex will still not speak to me and he still takes every opportunity to highlight my flaws to my kids. If he can’t find one handy he has no qualms about making one up.
After many years of biting my tongue and assuring my kids that Daddy is mistaken of course I love you I am very very grateful that they are now old enough to recognize bitterness for themselves and I still am the parent who didn’t stoop to those tactics.
That said I still wouldn’t mind if he got hit by a bus.
Rough, but better with time and distance. I think that we were both too selfish and emotional when we got married. Time has passed, and we’ve grown up a little as we have grown apart. We don’t fight, and we are mostly able to talk when we need to, but it’s still hard on the kids sometimes.
Oh, I wanted to check every option and I had to pick one, so I had to go with the one that applies now…we don’t talk. It was very rough at first when he left me for someone else, though we got through the actual divorce part amicably enough…in fact, we drove to the courthouse together, held hands through the hearing and then he took me to lunch…and then I got my rings cut off. But it just got worse as time went on what with him remarrying without telling his kids or me (my mom saw the notice in the local paper and told me…a few weeks before he’d called begging me to take him back or at least have another kid with him…sigh) and She did not want him to spend time with the kids because she was afraid of me…even though I assured her I never, ever wanted him back (maybe telling her I was too afraid of what diseases he might have caught from her was a bit OTT, though…). So he just drew away from the kids more and more, which was fine with them, since they had lost all respect for him. My son did want a relationship, but they could never come to terms, and that still breaks my heart. And then, after She dumped him after eight years, he slid into severe alcoholism, and basically called me one night and said he never wanted to speak to any of us again. So, we don’t. Divorced nearly 15 years now.
We communicate little, but it’s pretty non-contentious now.
Funny…looking back, I can’t see why in hell I would’ve married her. She possesses so many personality traits I dislike.
But that’s another story.
Options 1 and 3 both apply to me, so I didn’t end up voting. Having had no kids helped a lot, no doubt.
The actual “I want a divorce” conversation was pretty terrible. The next 4 months had their ups (rational conversations) and downs (emotional blackmail attempts). Then he found another woman and things immediately improved 500%. There have been little speedbumps here and there, but now almost a year into the separation, we get along better than we ever have.
But I doubt it would be such if we didn’t have a child together. I like him well enough, but not so much that I’d go out of my way to have a friendship with him if we didn’t have her in common. We’d probably separate a lot more thoroughly and maybe run into each other at parties once every couple of months without her.
Coming up on seven years since we separated. I have not seen her face since the day in court for my Order For Protection, where she attempted to file her own against me, file false charges, and had her attorney hand me the divorce papers. Had a brief, partial view of her twice after that. Once running away from looking out the door when I went to pick some stuff out of the garage, and once when I was driving over to my sister’s house. The car in front of me was driving rather erratically. Finally, I looked at the plate and noted it was hers. She’d had the car painted a different color. I suspect due to a combination of paranoia and perhaps wrecking it through her occasional habit of driving through red lights without noticing them. After it dawned on me that it was her, she turned down a side street and I went on my merry way, laughing my ass off.
Spoke to her over the phone once during the divorce, when she wanted something back from me. And perhaps 3 emails during that time.
No contact, no sightings since then and good riddance. No desire to interact with her in any way, shape or form.
I chose amicable, but it’s amicable AND there are communications issues. The reasons it’s amicable is because I allow it to be. If I called her out on every single thing that bugged me (ummm you’ve known that I was going to need to take the kid to the doctor for two weeks now and you’re just telling me today?) there would be lots of fighting. I’m easy going, I pick my battles and most things just aren’t worth the argument. In the above example I think to myself “well, I didn’t have anything going on, annoyed that she didn’t feel like telling me earlier, but it’s not an inconvenience, so…whatever” (I understand that this is poor communication on my part)
Funny things is, I don’t know if the shitty communication between us is what destroyed the marriage or allowed it to seem okay for as long a it did but that could be a long thread in and of itself.
Mine, too, and he turned what should have been an easy, no-problem process (we were both 30, had no kids, and no fucking money because he wouldn’t try to find work that would cut into his drinking time, hence the divorce) into a 2-year battle over nonsense just because he could do it for free while I had to pay attorney’s fees.
I have no idea where he is.
This is me in a nutshell. I was divorced over 20 years ago. We didn’t have kids so, thankfully, we didn’t have any reason to keep in touch. He was a nice enough guy, just not my guy.
I left him and he knew exactly why I’d left. He made the divorce as difficult as he could by being obstinate, refusing to sign the legal papers, insisting that I should bring them to him and then he’d consider signing etc. Eventually he realised that I was serious and there was no reconciliation on the cards, so he gave in and signed everything.
Since then, I’ve left the area and have a very happy life elsewhere. I heard that he’d moved back in with his father after his mother’s death but aside from that I have no contact with him and I don’t want any. He’s an ex, he’s staying that way.
I picked communication issues, but the actual divorce itself was ok. He’s still doing the things I divorced him for, and I’ve moved on but we have a child in common.
I hung on for 10 years because of our son, but…geez, it will be a good day when the kid is all grown and I don’t have to deal with him!
Oddly enough he still seeks my opinons on things, talks to me like I care at ALL about what he thinks or what his plans are or what he’s doing that doesn’t directly effect our child. I have zero desire to be his friend, but I guess I must be doing something right that I’m projecting a neutral enough front to get that kind of reaction.
Course, I divorced him (for many reasons besides this but mainly) because he cannot hold a job, and it’s never ever his fault, so one of the things I have let go is the idea he will every financially support his child. I fortunately am not desperate for the money, but still, I’m galled at the idea he gets off scott free - I guess the communications problems are on my end, but I see no reason to put him off his feeble attempts to keep in contact with the kiddo.
Four. More. Years.
sigh
I assume this was pre-2008; if joblessness is grounds for divorce today, the institution of marriage is finished.
After seven years of marriage we broke up back in 2000. After making him leave our home (it was a rental, no big loss for him) I saw him a few times when we tried to reconcile, but that only lasted a few months. I have never heard from him again, although I did meet his new wife a few years ago. He filed for divorce from me without me having to sign a thing. I didn’t even know it worked that way, but I was glad I didn’t have to bother with making an effort.