This thread in The Pit - http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=623360- made me think of my own parents and how they did “divorce when there’s a child involved” right, similar to the OP’s situation.
My parents divorced when I was 11 and I’m an only child. I never saw it coming because they never argued or fought in front of me. Just one day out of the blue my Mom sat me down and explained “separation”, “divorce”, “joint custody”…and I said “I’m staying with Dad.” Don’t get me wrong, I love my Mom dearly, but at that age I was totally a “Daddy’s Girl”. She said, “Well we’ve discussed it and yes, it would be in your best interest to live with your Dad, but we have 50-50 joint custody so you’ll be with me on these days of the week…” etc. etc., long story short my parents remained amicable, my time was split evenly between them, and when I chose to move in with my Mom at 13 (key words: I CHOSE), there were no issues.
What I did NOT know at the time, and found out as a grown-up, was that my Mom had a HELL OF A TIME making that arrangement happen. I those days (1984) the child automatically went with the mother. My Mom said “No, I’m the one who is moving out, I’m the one who needs to work on getting healthy again, I’m not going to disrupt Juicy’s life simply because my marriage didn’t work out. She’s a daddy’s girl and I’m not going to take her away from her father and have her hate me. She’s got her home, her school, her friends, her cat and her Daddy and I’m not going to allow any of that to be taken away from her. Her dad is more than capable of looking after her. It WILL be Joint Custody.”
I also did not know that she took no end of grief and judgement for that decision - apparently people said “How could you leave her with HIM? How could you ABANDON your daughter?!” which was complete and utter bullshit because my father is an excellent parent and my mom in no way whatsoever “abandoned” me, I saw her half the week!!
Anyway, I just wanted to tell my story because while yes, there are situations where the fathers are denied rights to their kids by vindictive mothers and vice-versa, there are also situations where parents put their own interests aside and do what’s best for their child(ren).
Any other NICE divorce & custody stories out there?