DMV you are a bunch of worthless idiots!!!

The BBQ Pit
1

OK, so everyone has a bad DMV story. Mine just happened to reach its most ridiculous today, May 2nd.

So my plates are going to expire at the end of April. I get the renewal in the mail and return it, with a check and proof of insurance, on March 17th (6 weeks before the plates expire). I go through my normal routine and during my April mid-month checkbook reconciliation I see that the DMV check hasn’t cleared. Hmmm, 4 weeks seems like a long time for a check to clear. I decide to wait and see if it goes through. Now, because of my job I’m gone a lot and can’t get to the DMV on any given day, so I have to plan this out. I go to the DMV office on Friday, April 25th only to find out that it is the wrong office (license renewals are done by county here, and I was in the wrong county). However, they did tell me that my renewal had NOT been processed yet.

So on Monday, April 28th I go to the correct DMV office and inquire about my plates. They once again tell me that my renewal has NOT been processed. It’s been 42 days since I mailed in my renewal - the only thing I can come up with is that it somehow got lost in the mail. So, honest citizen that I am, I write another check on the spot and get my new sticker for 2004. I affix the sticker and leave on a 3-day trip the next day (Tuesday).

I return from my trip on Thursday, May 1st and check my mail. What do I find? My registration renewal has arrived on May 1st.

So after 42 FUCKING days of sitting on my check you manage to PROCESS IT, issue the sticker and MAIL IT to me in THREE FUCKING DAYS, arriving one day AFTER the registration expires?!?

And since I wanted to avoid having expired plates I now have paid TWICE for this sticker? Not to mention two trips already to the DMV, to be followed up by untold numbers of trips in order to straighten out this fuck-up???

Does the DMV WANT me to be a worthless piece of shit? Why the fuck can’t they at least send me a receipt so I don’t waste my time driving down to their shitty office to stand in line and wait for a mouth-breathing drone to tell me that they haven’t processed my renewal?

The whole POINT of the renewal by mail was to AVOID the shitty DMV office!! You have now caused me to visit that same shitty office twice, with many more visits ensured by your idiocy!!

FUCK YOU!!! It’s a LICENSE PLATE!!! It’s not rocket science!!! The plates are made by prisoners!!! Maybe if they chained your sorry asses to your desks you could process my renewal faster than SIX FUCKING WEEKS after I sent it in and get my new sticker to me before IT FUCKING EXPIRES!!!

OK, I’m done. Thanks for listening.

2

You know, it’s situations like this that I’m happy I have Triple-A. I can renew my tags at their nearest office, the lines are much shorter, the people are friendlier, and it’s one more justification for having the membership.

I’m really sorry you had to go through all that.

3

Scene from That '70s Show in which Fez, the foreign exchange student, is applying for a job at the DMV:

The woman doing the hiring, after reviewing his application, says, “Let’s see, now. You have no skills, you’re stubborn, and you barely speak English. Welcome to the DMV!”

4

Did not know AAA could handle registration…good info.

You know who makes the DMV look like bust-ass, motivated workers? The Social Security Administration. I lost my card, so I need a new one. I go down to the SSA office, see a few people waiting (in no discernable order) and one of those “Take a Number” machines. So I grab a number, 87 I think. As I’m walking towards a chair, I glance down and notice that number 75-86 are on the floor.

Anyhow, there are two employees: a clerk and a security gaurd. The gaurd is about 70 years old, sitting at a desk with a sign saying “You may only speak to me for the restroom key.” WHAT THE FUCK CRIME COULD HE POSSIBLY PREVENT? An unarmed, half asleep geriatric? Radio the mall cops to the rescue? After sitting for about ten minutes, during which time NOTHING happened, I relize that I don’t have the time or patience for this shit and leave. During those ten minutes, however, the same person was talking to the clerk, and accomplished absolutely dick shit. I have never before in my life encountered a less productive encounter. Words fail me to describe the whole scenario properly, but trust me, it was horrible.

Back onto the topic of the DMV, why the fuck are the employees always pissed off? Christ, you’ve got a GOVERNMENT JOB where you sit on your ass all day long. Since it’s gov job, you get pretty decent pay and benefits, not to mention every half-assed psuedo-holiday off. National Turnip Day? Take it off! California Water Appreciation Week? Let’s work half days! It’s not as though the job is difficult, but if you would cheer the fuck up, everyone would be better off.

5

I have to get Louisiana plates this month. This means I have to pay SALES TAX on the car I bought in GEORGIA!!! (I think I have to pay the difference between the tax in Georgia and the tax here.)

And I have to do it this week, since I’m driving on expired plates.

I am DREADING the experience.

6

DMV run by a bunch of worthless idiots? REALLY?!

In other breaking headline news, Pope John Paul II found to be Catholic!

7

  • go visit the INS (or whatever it’s called these days), and you’ll see bureaucracy in (in)action. The DMV is manned with polite, serviceminded and efficient employees in comparison.

  • 6 weeks ? HAH! I sent a letter about a problem in my Advance Parole travel document in friggin’ November! Haven’t heard a thing back and don’t expect to.

  • Making an appointment ? Forget it. They’ll write you with a date and time to show up, and if you can’t possibly make it that day, you can ask to have it rescheduled, again at their convenience and with at least 4 weeks delay.

  • Reaching them by phone ? There’s a hotline with people who’ll read the instructions on the webpage to you. If your question is more complex than that - or <gasp!> pertains to your actual case - you’re SOL and have to go to the office in person.

  • If you really, seriously need to speak to an INS agent, you can show up in person to stand (and stand, and stand) in line. I’ve done so once. Arriving at 5 AM, I waited for three hours and forty-five minutes before making it as far as to the front door. Half an hour later, I was actually talking to an agent. My transaction with him took perhaps 10 minutes.

  • There’s a quota system - so many appointments of this type or that per day, and if you’re not an early bird and get a ticket for your specific type of request, you’ll just have to try your luck tomorrow. Showing up at 3 AM is recommended with a perfectly straight face.

  • Unclear and cryptic instructions ? You betcha. I was sent a visa document package that was both incomplete and came with outdated forms. Documents that didn’t need translations when they were first filed were pulled out of the file and turned down more than six months later.

Give me the DMV any day, says I.

8

Whoa, this is good info. I’ve been a AAA member for donkey’s years but never noticed this. But I’m spoiled. In IL you can get plate renewal tags at most banks. Very easy, very fast.

Want a horror story? After my divorce I took back my own name and of course had to file the name change w/ Social Security. Received the new card; no problem. Too bad my ex-husband–who’s howling crazy– filed a change-of-address for me, without my knowledge or consent, with both Social Security and the IRS. He re-routed all my financial information to his girlfriend’s address. I went ballistic but was greeted with glassy-eyed indifference. SSA? After a fun-filled hour of waiting I couldn’t even change it back to my own address because the IRS manages their address database. ^&#$! Fine.
[ul]

  • trek across the river. Of course all the briges are under construction and backed up to the next county.
  • pouring rain; find a place to park.
  • wade and slosh to Federal Bldg.
  • go through security.
  • my sopping umbrella is grouped thoroughly and suspicously
  • diddly-bopper through Security with my Swiss Army knife, apparently obscured by the gallon or so of rain water slowly seeping back out the seams of my purse
  • Splat and seethe down the hall, looking like Bill The Cat on meth, to confront the IRS bozos.[/ul]
    Did it do any good? HA!
    I was the only customer there but the gum-chewing moron at the service desk barely summoned sufficient energy to finally notice–yowza!-- I was there and slouch over. (It’s pretty hard to overlook almost 6’ of dripping, steaming, pissed-off female.) After much concentrated mastication, said moron reluctantly handed me a change of address form. Yes, I was graciously permitted to reclaim my financial info. “How was this allowed in the first place?” “What are the checks/laws about this?” “How can I prevent it from happening again?”
    Chomp, chomp.
    I’ve resorted to a lawyer. Hate to feed the litigation machine but the internal system is a fiasco.

Not that I’m bitter,
Veb

9

Okay, I just read TVeblen’s response and it makes me pissed at this guy.

Wouldn’t a hired assassin be easier, and less expensive? :smiley:

10

So far MY DMV experience has been just as bad as I feared.

To register a car in Louisiana you have to pay SALES TAX. In my case, I have to pay the difference between Georgia sales tax and the parish’s sales tax – two and a half percent, I think – on the blue book price of my car. Or, if I don’t want to come up with a document PROVING THAT I PAID SALES TAX AT ALL ON THE CAR I BOUGHT IN ANOTHER FUCKING STATE THAT WOULDN’T LET ME DRIVE THE FUCKING CAR OFF THE FUCKING LOT WITHOUT PAYING THE FUCKING SALES TAX, I can just pay the parish tax – in this case, a total of about $350!!! WTF??? (As opposed to about $180, which is STILL criminal in my book! But my plates are now expired, and I’m taking a chance on a whopper of a ticket whenever I drive it, so I’m stuck.) Yep, they charge sales tax on things bought in OTHER STATES.

So tomorrow I have to call the dealer in Georgia where I bought the car and get them to fax me a copy of the BILL OF SALE that has the sales tax figure on it to prove I PAID SALES TAX. I did not come from a sales tax free state. That is the ONLY WAY on God’s green EARTH that I wouldn’t have paid it! But oh, no, the woman couldn’t say, “How about a copy of the bill of sale.” No, when we asked WHAT document we needed, she shrugged and said, “I don’t know. It just has to prove you paid sales tax.”

And the woman seemed to think WE were the idiots!!!

11

Didja ever thinking of writing a letter explaining what happened and asking for your money back?

12

Heh, a letter… once I paid €25 for a renewal that the local DMV office had me do that was later turned down by the same DMV as illegal, apparentely by the higher echelons. Did I get my money back? Yeah right, " that’s impossible" the lady succinctly told me in a bored voice (I never figured out if they meant they refused to give me my money which they stole from me or that I must be nuts to try to fight them at their own game, namely burocracy). I honestly think the manager would have wiped his ass with my letter. I would be the topic of the day at the watercooler: “Do you know the latest? I received a letter from this sucker who filed for a renewal we couldn’t accept, and now he wants a refund! HA HA! What makes it worth sitting on my ass all day long farting and stamping papers are moments like this!”

13

Peyton since the original fuck-up was caused by the DMV sitting on my standard form renewal for SIX WEEKS after I mailed it to them, my hopes of a non-standard letter requesting a refund getting any response at all are nil.

No, I have resigned myself to braving the stinking confines of thier offices at least one more time. At least then I can have someone tell me I’m screwed to my face.

14

I missed that episode, but Great Prophet Zarquon, that is a perfectly accurate description of the DMV.

My own DMV horror story… The registration on my car comes due early November. For the last three years running, I have paid it, in cash at a DMV office within a week prior to its expiration.
For the last three years running I have received – after Christmas – a notice from the DMV that my registration has expired due to non-payment.
That, and…

DMV-Lady: “What’s the value of this vehicle?”

Me: “$150. Why?”

DMV-Lady: “Well you have to pay sales tax on the value of the car.”

Me: “Ah. I paid $150 for it.”

DMV-Lady: “But what’s it worth?”

Me: “$150. That’s what I paid.”

DMV-Lady: (Whips out Kelly blue book) “Says here the value of the car is [several hundred more than I paid].”

Me: (Produces receipt) “My receipt says that I paid $150 for it… that’s the value of this car.”
I got away with it because I had the receipt showing what I paid for the car… but she wanted to nail me for sales tax on nearly $1000… for a 76 Bobcat wagon!

Bullshit, says I!

15

It took the Calafornia DMV literally 6 months to process my release of liability for a car I sold. I was getting parking tickets from the city of LA all the time.
Bastards.

16

Same thing happened to my wife, her ex ( who is also a raging looney, but ALSO just happened to be a cop in the county they got divorced in) re routed all her mail. At the Post Office, no less.
it took her close to 3 months to find this out, and two trips to the Post Office to make it stop completely.

But there was nothing anyone could/would do about it.

She was told by numerous folk, cops, postal workers, lawyers, that there was no recourse what so ever, in Texas for this.

Only thing we were able to do was make address changes for us be in person with ID required.

and I dont think it even has to be us that does it…
if you think Texas cops are bad when you’re merely breaking the law, see what happens when one of 'em divorces you.

17

Hehe. Here in Ontario they have automated DMV kiosks in most big malls. I renewed my plates, changed my address and renewed my fishing license for 3 years in under 10 minutes last night. The plate stickers are printed out right there, and the fishing card will be sent to me in the mail in about 4 weeks.

Sweet.

18

I used to live in Virginia. They actually charge more for mailing in your registration renewal. How fuct is that?

And recently, they closed several DMVs to save money. They also closed the others on Wednesdays for the same reason. It’s a good thing I moved, because my day off (besides the weekends) is Wednesday.

19

Maybe you could drop them a note the same day you go down there. These are knuckle dragging epsilon semi-moron’s we’re talking about here. They might just refund your money twice.

Minnesota has on-line renewal. I haven’t had a problem with it yet. It is strange that it costs more, considering it saves them money.

20

At least here in Florida you can make an appointment to renew your driver’s license, so you don’t have to stand in a non-moving line all day.

As far as registration goes, I live in a fairly small town, so there’s hardly ever a line. I think the longest I ever spent in there TOTAL was 15 minutes.