Actually, adults do the equivilent of grounding other adults (jail), keeping adults “back after class” (literally holding a subordinate after a meeting or refusing to grant a raise/promotion/etc), withholding Playstation (sex, something else that one person has the other wants like the aforementioned raise/promotion). Children can’t file a lawsuit, but children can “petition” a parent, a teacher, or a principal to act on their behalf in a conflict and resolve the issue.
There are probably a lot of countries that aren’t as concerned with safety and welfare as the US is today.
You’ve got to remember how much more “kinder and gentler” the US has become both in language and actions over the last 25 years or so. When I was in 6th grade, about 1980, we could get paddled by the school principal. It wasn’t done in a mean way, just as a physical deterrent. Now parents would probably call the police if their child was paddled at school.
I’ve worked a lot of retail, and there’s well-behaved and badly behaved kids in every race. I’ve seen quiet and polite black kids, and nasty foul-mouthed black kids. Friendly and sweet white kids, and back-talking, destructive white kids. The only constant I have noticed is that well-behaved kids rarely act like they’re in fear of their parents; instead, the parent comes across as serene and in complete control.
As for overseas, I never saw any Turkish kids spanked or slapped. Turks tend to be very affectionate towards kids. I remember getting on a bus, and a lady with a little boy (maybe three-years-old) got on after me. The kid stumbled, and a man reached out and caught him by the hand and held him up. He also talked in a friendly tone towards the boy and the boy answered back.
Agreed. I won’t even spank my dog.
You know, this is the best anti-spanking argument I’ve ever heard. I’ve always been a bit ambivalent about spanking. (Not having kids, I never really had to clarify my thoughts on the matter.) But I would cringe if I saw someone spank a dog. It just isn’t necessary! Well if it isn’t necessary for a dog, why the hell would you need to spank a kid?
Do you walk children around with leads or dress dogs up in clothes? Why would you think the treatment of dogs and children had any bearing on each other?
One’s an animal, the other’s expected to become a functioning member of society and the family; one has a tendency for climbing trees, playing near main roads and other dangerous areas, fighting with other children etc. and whose death would be a tragedy the family would never recover from, the other’s a dog, who, if it died, it would suck, but would soon be gotten over.
Some kids do as they’re told and respond to other forms of discipline, others don’t (being honest, I didn’t, I’d push as far as I could get away with).
Dude, you have issues. Don’t try to project your issues on to the rest of us. I’m not misremembering what it felt like to get slapped—I just got over it.
Nice try equating beating with slapping, though :rolleyes:
Well, some–…I mean not us–…I mean–Hey, what’s with the personal questions?
I know it’s not a logically compelling argument, so maybe “best” wasn’t the best word. I found it personally compelling. Dogs can’t be reasoned with, they sometimes do things that are dangerous to themselves or others, they sometimes need to be forcefully stopped from doing something, but there isn’t a real need to punish physically. Humans learn and can be trained through the same mechanisms as dogs, plus they can be reasoned with (some of them, anyway). I doubt very much that spanking causes serious problems in children when it’s done reasonably, but realizing that any creature can be trained with other forms of reenforcement makes me seriously doubt that it is ever necessary for children. Of course I would never judge someone else’s decision to spank, as long as it is done carefully. I think the hysteria about it is unwarranted by the research and I know that for any rule about what works, some child will be the exception. But Cisco’s line put it in a new perspective for me.
I truly remember, but not as you depict it. Powerlessness, yes; shock, rarely, despair never.
I was spanked probably once or twice a year from about ages 5 through 10. It was generally one hardish slap on the butt. I essentially always felt I deserved it, in the sense that I knew I’d done something that was wrong and bad enough to earn this punishment. I respected my parents for having principles and sticking to them.
I don’t see anyone candy-coating this - that’s exactly what spanking is.
Spanking has nothing to do with a fight, and it’s certainly not between equals.
My parents had a special belt to beat me with. I don’t consider it abuse and for the most part i believe it worked incredibly well in making me a very well behaved kid and responsible adult. There was no shock, i knew when i’d done something wrong that deserved a good spanking, it usually involved beating my brother. There was no despair or powerlessness either. The only feeling i remember having is the “fuck i should really stop doing that” feeling. My brother was a little shit though, sometimes it was worth the beating.
Damn edit timer. I am from a poor country (peru).
I feel bad for starting this hijack, and there’s now a thread for discussion of the merrits of spanking. I’d like to hear more answers to the OP’s question. DigitalC, was what you experienced common where you lived? Do you think people would have looked at violence (like beating up siblings) differently if fewer parents spanked their children?
I got spanked, usually for serious dangerous stuff.
Sometimes if a parent doesn’t have the words or the words aren’t working (kids can be VERY stubborn), a few swats on the butt will get the kid’s attention. I’m not talking about beating them, but just a few swats.
It certainly seemed to be the usual for most of my upper middle class family and pretty common among most of my friends. It was even more common among the poorer spectrum of the population, it wasn’t rare to see kids beaten in public.
Do you mean do i think there would have been less fighting between us if our parents hadn’t spanked us? I dont think so to be honest, boys will fight and pick on their brothers, thats nothing out of the ordinary.