Do you/have you ever spank(ed) your kids?

In My Humble Opinion
1

No need to be ashamed or embarrassed. This is a liberal forum where all views are tolerated. :smiley:

But seriously, a thread about corporal punishment brought this thought up. Thinking about it, this site has users who live in different countries of various ages. A sizeable percentage are bound to have been spanked as children in the past and even probably some spank kids.

For a more interesting discussion could you please include:

1.) Age and Gender

2.) Race/Culture/Religion

3.) Country residing in

1.) Do you spank any kids/family relatives currently?

2.) Do you approve of spanking?

3.) If you don’t approve, would you ever be driven to spank your kids?

2

40-year-old male, white American, Christian.

I’ve never spanked my kids, and never plan to. I’m not opposed (in principle) to corporal punishment when clearly done as a form of discipline and not done to excess. But I grew up suffering physical abuse and can’t bring myself to do any sort of physical discipline to either of my daughters.

3

Mid-30’s white male, American, I believe in not being a jerk and supporting others decisions to live free, happy lives, FWIW.

I will spank occasionally as an immediate “get your attention” for my little ones. Intent is not to cause pain or teach a lesson. Whenever possible, the punishment will ‘fit the crime’, as in you don’t do your chores, then you will do double the next day or mis-use technology, you go a week without technology.

I do not believe in physical punishment for a situation where significant time has passed since the infraction being committed, and I will not spank if I am feeling emotional.

Even with my toddlers, I will try to talk first. But in a situation where they are about to do something dangerous or they are not paying attention to me, a little slap on the but works well.
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4

I must ask you to clarify your terminology. Is pummeling a brat about the head considered spanking?

5

I am female, Caucasian, American, Catholic, and a later model baby boomer.

I have two grown sons. I spanked each of them once as children, each time because one had gotten into a dangerous situation and an immediate, memorable correction was required.

I am not a big fan of spanking, but it can be useful to get a chikd’s attention when nothing else will do the trick. That said, it should never ever be done to excess. A sharp swat or two is sufficient.

An adult cannot reason with a shrieking, tantrum-throwing child who is flinging himself into traffic in a busy parking lot. They neither see you nor hear you in the throes of that tantrum. This is a prime example of when a good swat on the tush is a necessary attention getter. You need to get them to physically stop the dangerous behaviour, and to do so you need to get their attention.

6

Never, and I find the practice barbaric. Seriously, studies have shown that it actually lowers your child’s IQ. Why would anyone do such a thing? Are you really so lacking in simple logic?

Everyone who works with my child tells me how beautifully behaved she is.

7

I do know that my friend’s lesbian mother did spank him once. It’s actually an awkward situation. She was spanked as a kid being from half-african culture (she’s Belgian, African, English, Irish) but in general isn’t a ‘tough love’ or ‘old school’ person. She’s actually very nice, liberal, nurturing and attractive.

My friend was a bit disrespectful to her one time and, she ‘spanked him’. He’s was 17 at the time (last year). Apparently she did it without asking him to remove his jeans, just asked him to bend over with a belt and hit him once. Then she apologized for that and told him that although she promised not to do that ever again, she wanted Nigel not to test her limits.

8

It would be hard since my youngest is 43 and bigger than me.

Okay, here is my story. #1 got spanked once, when she was doing something quite dangerous (sticking a pin into an electric socket) and would not stop. She was probably about 3 and was horrified that we, who had always only given her pleasure, was giving her pain. Never did it again.

#2, by 17 months, was fairly difficult and was getting spanked regularly. My wife and I had a conference and decided that this was getting too frequent and wasn’t working. So we stopped. and his behavior improved markedly and quite suddenly. Never spanked him again.

#3, 6 years later, was never spanked.

How did we discipline them? We told them to go up to their room. They usually did. If they didn’t, we started counting 1,2,.3,…4,…5,… and that was always enough. Later we have asked them what they thought was coming at 10. They told us that they didn’t imagine we had anything planned (how astute; we didn’t) but took the counting as evidence that we were really serious.

Whatever we did, it was successful. Wonderful, productive citizens, loving parents (whose kids have never been spanked and are wonderful in turn). We are so lucky.

9

For my childhood, spanking meant:
Hitting you with an open hand on the rear.
Hitting you with a belt on the rear. (Most common.)
Slamming your head into the wall to dent the drywall. (Special occasions.)

To clarify, I consider an inappropriate reason for spanking to be:
I’m having a bad day.
Your brother broke your bedroom window after you failed to stop him.
I asked you to be quiet then your brother punched the back of your head making you cry.
You completed your chores properly but I didn’t like the way you did them.

10

Why sure I did. A gentle swat on the butt works wonders in getting a misbehaving kid’s attention.

It changes as the kids get older. We always tried other methods first. Go to your room or no TV or music for two days, was often effective. Sometimes the same bad behavior continued, then it was time for a spanking. I never did it when I was angry or upset. Wait a few hours and then calmly administer the punishment.

11

1.) 57, male

2.) American of Irish descent. Catholic.

3.) United States

4.) No.

5.) No.

6.) No.

I have two daughters, one three years and five months, one seven months. I have never spanked my children and I never will. My wife feels the same way.

I don’t think it does any good, and probably does some harm. If my older girl misbehaves, sure, there are consequences. She’s old enough to understand consequences. But physical violence? Nope, not part of our lives.

12

I voted no but I did give baby spankings which really aren’t spankings. My kids knew I would spank them if they crossed certain lines and they never crossed those lines so they never got spanked. Disrespecting a parent was a red line. My sons only issue was a messy room and we cut him some slack on that because I didn’t set a very good example. My daughter got a little wild streak at 15 that lasted for a couple months but outside of that discipline was never an issue. I was not a strict parent but I was consistent and they knew where the boundaries were. Both my kids are happy successful and great parents now in their own right but not strict enough in my view.

13

I don’t really know how to answer the poll part. I spanked my 27 year old once when she pretended to run away when she was maybe in third grade. I was hysterical from running up and down several streets and spanked her all the way home with my hand. And then I felt like a child abuser for losing control so I never did it again.

My 12 year old has never been spanked.

47/Female
White Atheist, my people are from all over the world.
US
No
No
Yes as my story relates, I lost control. And thinking on it, every person I’ve ever witnessed being spanked from my childhood to my friends and their children to the random person in public, every time I’ve seen it happen it was due to lack of control on the parents’ part, like a kid pushed and pushed until they got smacked. It never seems like it’s done to “teach a lesson”.

14

50, American, Jewish. 1 son, currently 10. He has been spanked twice, once by DH, once by me.

By DH: he was 2 & 1/2. He hit the dog. Aside from the dog’s comfort, we cannot let him think he can hit dogs. Not every dog will be as tolerant and laid back as our Lab/Hound mutt. Father said “Do not do that again, or I will spank you.” He looked his father straight in the eye, and did it again. Father spanked him on his diapered butt.

By me: he was four. He took his seatbelt off on the highway, and was bouncing around in the back seat. I told him to get back in his carseat. He ignored me. I pulled the car over onto the shoulder, and buckled him back in. I said, if he did it again, he would get spanked. He did it again, immediately. I spanked his butt. He did not do it again.

In both cases, he was doing things that could end up in his getting a lot more hurt than any spanking would ever hurt. That was our line, and we had discussed it before. We would never use spanking unless it was to prevent a bigger hurt, like his thinking he could hit any old dog, and getting attacked, or getting in the habit of taking off his seatbelt, and then having it off when one of us stopped short, or actually got into an accident.

He has not been spanked otherwise. He has been *threatened *with it, but in those cases, the threat worked. He had a speech delay, which might be why he still needed a spanking at 4, but he is 10 now, and listens very well. Better than most kids.

I regret having to spank him, but I do not regret actually doing it, if that makes any sense.

15

I missed edit window. Do I approve of spankings? When they are meant to head off bigger hurts. A child who needs to be spanked for playing in the street probably needed that spanking. But children do not need to be spanked for back-talk, spilling things, or potty accidents. Those are all natural consequences of childhood. Backtalk may need to be punished with a loss of privileges, and the others, just cleaned up, and borne with a grin. I would have spanked my son for pulling out the electrical plugs, had he done so, but he didn’t, or trying to pull pans off the stove, but a verbal reprimand worked in that case.

All in all, two spankings is not a bad record.

16

1.) Age and Gender
50+, M

2.) Race/Culture/Religion
American atheist, China as an adopted culture/language/
3.) Country residing in
US but lived in China 20+ years
1.) Do you spank any kids/family relatives currently?
Nope
2.) Do you approve of spanking?
Generally no
3.) If you don’t approve, would you ever be driven to spank your kids?
I spanked my three kids maybe a dozen times each. Used very sparingly as a reinforcement tool.

My youngest visciously pulled her twin sister’s hair. Almost enough to harm. My wife and I simultaneously slapped her hand.

My wife probably spanked each kid about a dozen times as well.

17

1.) 60 male

2.) Whiteish/Siberian

3.) US

1.) I have not had to in years but I would if warranted.

2.) Yes if its done as an unusual/extreme punishment and not as the “go to” punishment.

18

mid 40s, Male

I’m white/anglo. The kids are step kids, hispanic/indigineous background

I’m in Cayman Islands. Kiddos most of the time are in Colombia. Protestant Christian background all around.

I do not spank. Never have. Older kid is too old for this. Younger is of age this might be a discipline method he would respond to but I don’t think this would be most effective means. He is so meek and timid that just a harshly worded “No!” is more than enough to get him to stop something inappropriate.

I do not totally rule out spanking as a discipline option.

19

1.) Age and Gender: 35

2.) Race/Culture/Religion: White/American/LDS

3.) Country residing in: USA

1.) Do you spank any kids/family relatives currently? No

2.) Do you approve of spanking? No

3.) If you don’t approve, would you ever be driven to spank your kids? No

I have two daughters 6, 4, and a one year old son. I believe that spanking is a form of bullying and that it will lead to greater aggression and misbehavior on the part of the child. I even limit raising my voice to them. If you can train a German Shepherd without beating it why wouldn’t you be able to train a child the same way? Is a dog smarter than a human child?

20

I’m a 59 year old white guy from Pennsylvania. No, never raised a hand to my now adult children. They were mostly angels, and I never felt the need. I’m happy as can be with the way they turned out.

ETA: oh, and I’m an atheist, so I don’t not blame god