Do you spank as a form of discipline to those you have custody or responsibility over who are under the age of 18?
No, I don’t. The closest I’ve come is grabbing my son by the nape of the neck like a cat when he tried to rip off a compression bandage I was wearing after I’d cut the tip of my pinkie off with a knife. I’d just gotten back from the ER and it really hurt.
I don’t see myself starting with spanking and strongly disagree with it. That said, life’s not over yet and I’ve broken most of the promises I made before I had kids. However, I’m thinking this is one of those unbreakables.
I have a 6 month old daughter, and I beat her silly daily.
No, just kidding. Honestly though, I feel there’s an appropriate level of corporal punishment, but the old “wooden spoon on a bare ass” method is too far in my book. Spanking should only be used to gain the attention of a child whose emotions are preventing you from getting through to them - and only when you need to get their attention. Sometimes letting the kid “scream it out” and *not *achieve their desired result is all it takes for them to not do it that way anymore.
There’s plenty of forms of discipline, and sometimes a solid “No” coupled with a (intentionally not pluralized) diaper-thwack is required.
Over the age of say, 8 or 9, I can’t see how it will help. Maybe even younger, it depends on how your kid develops. Once they’re smart enough to reason a little bit, and to feel the sting of consequence in ways other than physical pain, then spanking needs to stop.
No. I don’t have an issue with it and spanked my older son back in the day when I deemed it appropriate. But my wife (different mother than my older son) doesn’t want to use that discipline method with our current young child. I’m not invested enough in spanking to make an issue out of it and go along with her wishes.
Well, there’s the Monkey…
Actually, I’m pretty sure spanking your underage kid’s monkey is against the law.
I prefer to Taser.
I think about it sometimes, and then I picture it in my mind… me bending over this 5’8 160 lb 14 year-old boy and whacking him good on my knee… yeah, I’m thinking that’s not going to work. Then I think about tasering.
I voted no, because he’s too old. At 15 yo and 6 ft tall, and me at 5’4", that would be something to see. I’m sure he’d just laugh.
Depending on your definition of “spank” my answer might be, I used to. That is, the occasional swat on his bottom when he just wasn’t paying attention to me during the toddler years when reasoning wasn’t going to be effective. If you mean X number of lashes or a “good solid paddling” then no.
No. It only takes a second to reflect on the frustration my child must feel when she has little control over her world, a vocabulary limited by her age, power limited by her size, and no choice but to behave as her father and I expect her to despite an immature grasp on emotions and consequences. To her we are tyrants and we have lofty expectations. To her, we make unreasonable demands on her time and abilities. We expect a lot, and she can only do so much. And on top of ordering her day, ordering her around, expecting her to learn and grow and adapt to a world much bigger and more mature than she, we also teach her not to hit.
So we are rather strict, but no spanking, no hitting of any kind. No yelling or cursing, either, but stern words, time outs, restrictions, and removable of privileges has worked fine for years. Her cousins who are spanked daily by short tempered, impatient parents are terrors with ongoing discipline problems. With these family members and our friends, we’ve seen no evidence that spanking is effective and seems to do little more than vent a parent’s frustration. I cringe to see it except in the most extreme of circumstances such as running towards traffic.
Spanking no, at least not the type of spanking I got as a child.
A few times he got a swat on the rear, like when I was pumping gas and he kept climbing out of his car seat because he wanted to run across the highway to the toy store. I doubt it hurt because he was wearing a diaper but it got his attention enough to settle him down.
When I was a kid i got spanked…leather belt on a bare ass. When I had kids (two boys) I promised them I would never hit/spank them; once, and only once I swatted my oldest (sevenish at the time) on his butt through his pants. He burst into tears. “Kid” (name redacted) I said, “That couldn’t have hurt, whats the issue”…“Dad” he replied “You said you’d never beat me”. I felt like a heal and never again did I swat either of them.
My daughter is already paranoid that I’m going to kill her; she is afraid if I raise my hand even in pretend. I don’t want to be the cause of that terror in their eyes. I found other ways to handle their infractions. I had the Mom Look. I was truly blessed with a face that screams,“Damn yo mama is gonna tear you up!” (yeah I know, lucky me!)
All I had to do was flick them the eye and they’d settle down, or say they’re sorry, or whatever else they might get in to. It helps that they’re both the eager-to-please types and so am I so we’re stepping all over each other (my oldest, my 8 year old, and me) trying to be helpful.
I’m not going to judge anyone else who does. My best friend had a son who was like one of those monkeys that fly all over their playground equipment then come CRASH into the glass cage. He was three and he scared me! And from what I saw of various altercations, she beat the crap out of him (in a spanking sort of way, not like bashing him with a tire iron) and he finally settled down for a while. So it seemed to work with them, and that boy has grown in to a fine young man.
Am I the only one who giggled when I read the title of this thread?
I received some spankings when I was a child and I guess I would also do the same if I ever have children.
I voted yes, but it has only happened twice in the 11 years I have had kids. Once, at 3 my eldest got a swat when she ran away from me (playing games) as i called her and she was almost hit by a car, it was on a busy street and she thought it would be funny. It was soooo close.
The second time it was my eldest again, this time around 6 or 7. This time she straight up lied to my face. I am a relatively permissive parent and will cut my children slack if they can explain their reasoning behind a decision. But lying is not allowed, we respect each other more than this. I think I spanked her 5-8 times. She has never lied since.
Yes.
When I was 16, I had thousands of lines I would never cross.
When I was 30, I had 50 lines I would never cross…
When I was 50, I had one line left & it is bent all to hell.
I don’t have kids, but I do spank my partner.
Only red-headed stepchildren.
I’ve written about this before, so I will keep it short. My first-born was very well-behaved and we spanked just once (and she was so stunned she dissolved in tears). The next, our son, was not so well-behaved and we seemed to be spanking him daily. It didn’t improve his behavior and my wife and I simply made a decision to stop. We did and his behavior improved dramatically and very quickly. Our third was never spanked. None of our grandchildren has ever been spanked.
My mom told my brother and I that she “could still spank you both, even if I have to stand on a chair to do it.” We were in our 20’s. There was laughter, but it was nervous laughter.
When I was young, mom used a belt. Seems like on a regular basis but it was a long time ago. As far as I can tell it accomplished nothing. I seem to remember that most of my spankings were for not cleaning my room and I am just as messy 50 years later. I don’t remember ever encountering a situation with my kids where I thought anything other than a swat on the butt to get their atttention would accomplish anything. Maybe I was just a horrible kid and/or my kids were good?