Do classic Valley Girls still exist?

In the 80s the world discovered Valley Girls as though some anthropologist found an unknown tribe living in the jungle somewhere. For a few years Valleystyle became a national fad to be copied or lampooned. As time went on, substantial elements of VG behavior leached into the mainstream female adolescent lifestyle, but the hardcore, mostly cliche, mannerisms and lingo faded from the national scene.

Recently I got to wondering. If we were to go back into the jungle, so to speak, and examine the original tribal habitat today would we find classic Valleystyle alive and well. Would we still see slackjawed girls with overdone hair saying “grodie to the max,” “gag me with a spoon” and rolling their eyes like roulette balls?

Jeez, not one reply!

Here’s a post-holiday bump.

Of course not! One of the tribal customs was constant flux! Fashions change. Anyone uttering the word “grodie” would be regarded with approximately the same bewilderment as someone saying “Dig that, daddy-oh!” because it is no longer acceptable English. Its time has passed.

However, if you drive about two hours north of L.A. to Santa Barbara, you will find a pocket of life where all the girls are desperately pretty, dressed in the latest, eating only the right foods at the right restaurants… utterly un-date-able and unapproachable by anyone who is not Brad Pitt, a craven metrosexual with a trust fund, or worse. If you are not a ten, don’t try to say “hello”. If you have not read next month’s fashion magazines – or if you don’t know what they’re going to say is “in” – don’t bother trying to take her to dinner. As an East Coast native, I was in awe, utterly baffled… they’re pretty, but they’re not human.

A Galeria north of LAhas been set aside as a preserve for Valley Girls. Occasionally they bring in guys from the Surfer Dude preserve down the coast for breeding purposes.