Growing up the most common piece of advice I got was “If you’re ever granted 3 wishes, never waste one on unlimited sex. You’ll quickly get bored of it.” This seems like a pretty bog-standard advice regarding “Would you rather” scenarios but I’ve always questioned it.
Granted, doing the same thing over and over again does get boring, but considering the number of famous people (both men and women) who have literally thousands of sexual conquests as well as people who claimed to have sex with a different person every night, I wonder if the claim that “the sex will get boring” is just some preference thing, considering there are people who do like doing the same things over and over again.
So it this truly just a preference issue, or is there some actual consensus that the more sex you get the more bored you get of it?
Think of it like porn: given the unlimited supply we all now have, do you get bored fairly fast? But do you still go to those websites occasionally?
Different people are wired differently, but for me the answers are yes for both, and I suspect it would be the same with casual sex, although I’ll never know for sure.
I think ‘boring’ is the wrong term. You have food every day, but I think few people would say they get bored of eating (unless you are on a restricted diet*). On the other hand, you probably could not tell me what you had for diner a month ago.
Having lots of sexual opportunities (and taking them), normalizes sex. Which means it isn’t a big deal and you probably won’t think about it too much and maybe remember less about it than if you have few actual experiences. This seems strange to us, because most people live in a situation where they have relatively few partners; by choice or not.
I think it works the same if you are in a long term relationship: you probably have a lot of opportunity to have sex, but it is fairly normalized and individual experiences leave less of an impression than they did when the relationship was new.
for what it’s worth, if sex is restricted to the same scenario every time, I think it might actually get boring as well at some point
Diane: Unlimited sex. The adult male’s version of owning a candy store. But tell me, once you’ve consumed as much sex for as long as you want it, what would you do then?
Just in case there is actually such a thing, I would hate to be accused of “Whoremonger Shaming” anyone, but for the record, you are the guy who started his very own thread proudly crowing about the cold, hard fact that you have paid over 100(?) different women for sex, right?
Perhaps given your perspective, maybe your outlook is skewed in ways that other people’s would not be.
In the guns and roses biography, it seemed to. I forget which biography it was, maybe Steven Adler. He said after he got famous getting girls was like casting a net out a window and catching the best tuna with no effort. He said it lost its challenge.
I can say I recently had an experience where I, well, had a good time.
I went to Eastern Europe and I dated a couple of girls at the same time for a couple weeks. And, well, I also saw hookers during the first week when the girls I was dating wouldn’t put out.
So I was having sex with a different girl once or twice a night. (yes I was somewhat dreading the results of my STD test when I got home, got lucky this time and I used condoms with the ladies of the night). Anyways I will say the thrill did start to wane, especially in week 2. Also got harder to perform.
I am sure if I could live in this situation long term it would eventually become less exciting. Eventually.
As someone who got very few sexual opportunities the first 30 years of my life, I can say with near certainty that it made me appreciate the few opportunities I got even more. I’ve gotten bajillions of opportunities with the same woman the last 23 years, and I’ve never stopped appreciating them. If I hadn’t been able to swing a dead cat without hitting a woman who wanted to get horizontal with me I could see it getting monotonous after a while.
Assuming some sort of fantastical, genie-in-a-bottle scenario of sexual opportunity without consequence or consideration of other people’s desires:
If compelled to fill a quota (you can have sex with anyone you like, any way you like, but you must have sex at least x times per day, even if “x” is “1”), it would become drudgery after a while. (“Christ, I forgot to have sex today, but I’m exhausted and I just want to get some sleep! Come on, let’s get this over with!”)
If allowed to have sex whenever you wanted but only with one or a limited selection of partners, it would eventually become boring. (Not to be confused with a long-term monogamous relationship with a single person with whom there is a complex tapestry of love and partnership; I mean just one person (or a very limited few people) who is just your sex partner and nothing more.)
If you could have sex with anyone you like, but always in the same manner, it would also eventually become boring…I think. The variety of each different partner’s responses/participation in the same sexual activity might very well be enough to maintain interest.
If you could have sex whenever you wanted with whoever you wanted in any manner/scenario you chose, including just letting the other person take the initiative and do what they want to do, and also skip having sex if you just didn’t feel like it on a given day, I can’t imagine that “skipping it” would ever become my default, routine daily choice. On occasional days, yes, but never on an ongoing basis. This type of situation would not be boring. At least, I can’t conceive of how that could ever become boring.
Can’t help thinking about my husband in this context. Raped at age 9, because his unique bodily characteristics were already becoming apparent. Regularly sexually active (with or without his consent) by the time he was a teenager. Had literally thousands of partners. Caught STDs (miraculously not HIV). Became an addict, due to people slipping him drugs in order to make him perform. Almost died, until his parents got control and got him the help he needed.
In short, it never became boring, it became life-threatening.
Now he just has sex with me. But we are inventive and flexible enough to never let it become stale.
Wilt Chamberlain claimed that he’d had sex with 20,000 woman (something very few people find believable) but whatever that number was, he would have traded all those casual experiences for one woman who would have given him true love.
Expanding the definition of ‘porn’ to include my own diverse sexual fantasies, played out on the screen of my mind…no, not yet bored. I keep coming up with new ones.
A wealthy, reasonably attractive male celebrity has the option to sleep with thousands of women. But I don’t know if most do. I know lots take advantage of the opportunity, but they don’t really rack up partner counts in the thousands on average. Jose Canseco said he slept with a couple hundred women over 20 years. Thats a lot by most people’s standards, but thats also about one a month. Far lower than the number he could have had if he’d wanted it.
Some people like Vince Neil or Wilt Chamberlain rack up partner counts in the five figures though. But even though many celebrities have that option, most do not seem to take it up to that extent.
I’d think that at some point, it becomes an exercise in statistics- the hardware, so to speak, is probably a lot more similar than not, and doing it with thousands of people would tend to reinforce that, I’d think.
My guess is that a sane, intelligent person would probably hit that point fairly quickly and go looking for something more meaningful. Of course there are a lot of dumb people out there who would just wallow in it without really ever thinking past it too.
I imagine it depends on the person. Some people have an endless appetite for sex, and for those people it probably doesn’t get boring. Others use sex to fill a psychological gap elsewhere, and likely don’t enjoy it that much to begin with.
Most don’t publicize it, but that seems to reflect the appetites of their audiences. Making sure everyone knows you had sex a lot is good for business in much of the popular music industry. That applies to “serious” performers like Lemmy and Mick Jagger and to less serious ones like Vince Neil and Fifty Cent.
Conversely, that isn’t the case in sports, although professional athletes probably have just as many opportunities for casual sex. The really promiscuous athletes like Tiger Woods (who at 121 is nowhere close to Gene Simmons and his 10,000) and Wilt are famous for it - and of course Tiger didn’t exactly publicize his exploits.
I imagine the acting profession works more like sports.