The “Asian” part indicates a different ethnicity. The “American” part, on the other hand, pretty explicitly states their place of origin.
I’ve got a friend. Let’s call him Mark. Mark and I were both born in America. My parents were born in America. So were his. All my grandparents were born here. Half of his were. Most of my great-grandparents, however, were born in Scotland. His great-grandparents, however, were all born in Japan. Despite us having equally deep roots here, nobody, upon ascertaining my cultural heritage (not hard - my real name is almost comically Scottish), has ever asked if I know anything about bagpipes or caber tossing. Mark is fairly routinely assumed to be into anime and martial arts. Nobody has ever tried to practice their Gallic on me. People frequently try to practice their Japanese with Mark. Nobody’s ever asked me what Edinburgh is like. Mark’s often asked about Tokyo. And, of course, when someone tries to be a dick to me, they don’t go, “Och aye! Kin Aye burrow ah dollur?” You can imagine what people who want to be dicks to Mark say. And, of course, nobody has ever asked me, “Where are you from,” and followed it up with, “No, I mean where are you really from?” when I say California.
Now, all of those people (well, except the dicks) are trying to be friendly. But what they’re doing, every time, is saying, “You’re not white. You’re different. Explain to us your strange and exotic ways!” To a guy born in San Bernardino. Yeah, they mean well - but they’re also fucking idiots. And they’re engaging in a particular form of idiocy that can very easily turn from, “You’re strange and exotic,” to “You’re foreign and sinister,” as my friend can testify from his own family history of being interned during WWII. Even if you want to argue that people should suffer fools more gladly (a novel position, coming from you) there’s definite element of self-protection in trying to stamp out this “benign” form of racism.
If someone is born here, then certainly this is where they are from. If you were born in, say, India, then you’re originally from India. How is this offensive, unless you are ashamed of your roots?
I asked the woman at the UPS store this morning where she was originally from, as she had an accent that was unmistakably from the Indian subcontinent and we were chatting about restaurants. Since I like to cook cuisine from that part of the world, I was curious on her take on local Indian-style joints. Turned out she’s from Pakistan. I have no idea if she is a citizen or not, and it’s none of my business.
Bobby Jindal wasn’t born in India, he was born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, but according to the OP he’s a foreigner. While I have no idea how Bobby Jindal feels about this sort of thing, I’d probably find it annoying if strangers kept insisting that I wasn’t a real American despite being an American citizen born and raised in America. But that sort of thing has never happened to me, because I’m white.
Your “simple curiosity” might be coming across as aggressive to other people. Maybe tone it down a little. I never have a problem learning what someone’s ethnic background is within the first few minutes of friendly chat and haven’t ever had anyone get “aggressive” in return.
My own personal theory based partly on knowledge of his personal history but mostly on my own experience as a child of immigrants from India is that Jindsl was severely traumatized and it definitely explains why he never used his given name (Piyush) and possibly explains his teenage conversion from Hinduism to conservative Christianity.
It’s disputed whether it’s true that he asked his Indian and Indian-American supporters to not wear ethnic clothing to celebratory functions, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that it’s true.
Being constantly reminded by strangers that you couldn’t possibly be s real/regular American can be devastating psychologically.
Most people want to be treated as individuals, not as representatives of a “foreign” culture.
And I put “foreign” in quotes because in America, if someone is doing it here, it’s American, not foreign.
We can consider someone American while still recognizing that N. America is mostly made up of immigrants - the two things aren’t mutually exclusive. And most of the people I interact with are white (Irish background or whatever) so I don’t think I’m making it a skin color issue.
And this is what I have a problem with. Because you can’t simultaneously be “trying to be friendly” while saying “You’re not white. You’re different. Explain to use your strange and exotic ways!” If someone actually said that, they’d be being so racist I’d think they were trying for a joke.
I fully get that the question is annoying if you get it all the time. I fully get that it can make you feel less welcome. But when claims of microaggressions jump to assuming negative intentions behind innocent questions, I draw the line. While trying not to offend people unnecessarily is a moral virtue, so is the principle of charity.
There’s got to be a way to negotiate this difficulty without accusing the other person of racism when they are just being curious. As other posters on both sides have illustrated there is a way to talk about it, it seems there is, and this absolutism is not helpful.
Many people are indeed capable of grasping that someone who looks like Bobby Jindal can be an American, but you don’t seem to be one of them. You keep referring to people like Jindal, who is an American citizen born and raised in America, as foreigners and immigrants and saying that “their country” is someplace other than America.
Has it ever occurred to you that either he, or others in a similar situation, might find personal theories like that offensive?
When I meet an Asian-American, first generation or second generation or any other, I would respect them enough to assume that their choices about preferred name, religion, and everything else, are their choices which they arrived at by their own reason and good sense. I would not say or think that solely because they are Asian American, they must have suffered some sort of trauma that’s distorting their thinking. I find it difficult to imagine anything more insulting.
Well, here’s an experiment for you, then: Go up to one of those Irish-or-whatever guys and ask him to tell you about “his country.” He likes Guinness, right? And soda bread? Tell him everything you know about leprechaun mythology to help build a rapport. Does he speak Gaelic at home and wear green? I’m guessing this is the point at which he’ll punch you in the nose. (Because we all know the Irish are short-tempered, right?)
Sure you can. Do you know how many people I’ve met who have, in all earnest concern for my well being, told me that I’m going to burn in hell if I don’t stop dating other dudes? Those people are doing their best to be friendly to me: they don’t want me to burn in hell, and they’re genuinely trying to help me avoid that. Unfortunately, their view of the world is founded on profoundly homophobic assumptions that color their interactions - even ones intended to be positive - with actual homosexuals.
The same is true for a lot of people when it comes to race. Nobody ever looks at me and wonders where I’m “really” from. Nobody assumes that I have particular interests or knowledge based solely on the color of my skin or the shape of my eyes. When someone sees an Asian person, and assumes - entirely based on the color of their skin or the shape of their eyes - that they have a particular knowledge base or set of interests, what else can you call that but racism?
I don’t know. Why are you defending asking equally stupid questions about people whose grandparents were born in Asia?
Are you actually from Quebec? Then that’s an entirely different situation from expecting a guy born in Brooklyn to know anything about Beijing, just because he happens to be ethnically Chinese.
And even if it doesn’t come across as aggressive, what difference does it make to the asker? People use the defense of “I was just curious!” to ask all sorts of questions they shouldn’t pester strangers with. If you’re never seeing the person again, how does it enrich your life to know what country Billy’s ancestors came from, if Debbie plans to have another baby before she’s “too old,” how Marco ended up in a wheelchair, and if both my parents also have red hair?
The man in the video you linked to upthread was saying that sort of stupid thing to the woman, and yet you seem mystified as to why someone in her position would find this sort of thing annoying – even though the purpose of the video is to illustrate why this is annoying, and IMHO does so clearly and directly.
I hope you’re having fun constructing your men of straw.
We have at least a couple of threads going on right now in which the concept of “white privilege” is being discussed.
Here is a pretty clear example of a situation in which someone could do with a bit of understanding of how life and questions and assumptions are fundamentally different for some groups and not others.
Sticking with the Asian-American example, there are s lot of things about growing up as an Asian-looking person in American society that put one at a distinct disadvantage.
There are assumptions made about your interests, your talents, your suitability for certain jobs, your sexual prowess (Asian woman=sexual firecracker; Asian man=sexual dud).
Your identity is an invisible cloud that sour rounds every interaction with the white majority.
And here the OP is blundering in like a bull in a china shop and cheerfully tossing all those assumptions around and demanding answers to off-the-wall questions.
Ethnicity and identity can be very fraught topics for non-white Americans especially. It would reflect a certain degree of sensitivity and tact to avoid charging into those areas of discussion with people one doesn’t know well.