Mr. Z.: *Instead I suggest that people cultivate a personality that is less easily offended. […] Personally, I will never hire a zealot. If you wont get along with the current employees, you are not wanted. *
If that’s your policy I don’t mind, as long as you explain up-front to your employees and potential employees that that’s what your policy is.
*But I guess that is harassment? *
I’ll leave that for the court to decide.
[earnest question to the group]:
why is it generally women who are the complainant? (why are woment the ones more often offended than men, not why women file suit more often.)
Mr. Z.: *why is it generally women who are the complainant? (why are woment the ones more often offended than men, not why women file suit more often.) *
Sounds pretty simple to me: as Dumbguy noted, men tend to be more free/crude/rank/down-to-earth/whatever in their speech than women do. This too has very deep historical roots, and probably some posters on this board can still remember their fathers’ telling them in all seriousness that certain expressions were taboo “in mixed company” or “in the presence of ladies.” Women were supposed to be more modest and chaste than men, and that held true for their language use too. Naturally, feminism has changed a lot of this, but a lot of it still persists in the basic assumptions we make about male and female behavior.
One lasting effect of this ancient gender difference is that even today, men who are offended by vulgar/profane speech from other men are much less likely to admit it than women are. Women can complain because it’s “okay” for a woman to have more delicate sensibilities. If a man complained, he’d probably just get abused for being a wuss.
Why do women complain more?
Perhaps it is the balance of power. Perhaps it is the “female sensibility.” Personally, I believe a group of women can be as raunchy as a group of guys (yes, even co-workers), but some would disagree. Perhaps it is that men are more willing to directly confront the offender, where a women feels like she must make a complaint.
I think its more likely though that a man finds most sexual talk in a mixed group to be flirtous or just talk, where for a woman there is always the potential for it to be threating. Men can be pursued by women - chased, but few complain about being stalked. Of course, they are less likely to get raped or murdered by their pursuer. Most women I know have either been raped or know someone closely who has been raped. I knew two women who were murdered, presumably by people who pursued them “romatically.” I know several women who have been at the wrong end of quid pro quo sexual harrassment - I have never met a man who has had a female boss say “sleep with me or lose your job.” (I did meet a guy once who had his male boss tell him that).
Sometimes, if you don’t complain about the touches on the shoulder, or the dirty jokes, or the innuendo, when it gets bad, and your line is crossed the defense becomes, “well, you were ok with all that other stuff.” Many women have discovered (the hard way) that zero tolerance doesn’t permit that defense.
Do frivolous sexual harassment cases encourage gender bias?
Yes.
I feel it’s deeply rooted at the instinctive psychological level.
Adult women tend to be physically smaller than, and not as strong as, adult men on the average. 'Waaaaay back when we all lived out on the African Savanna, being smaller and weaker meant you were more vulnerable to predators, and thus more dependent on the rest of your tribe for protection. “Complaining” is a very toned-down and subdued version of screaming for help from the rest of the tribe because you’re under attack. Men had the physical power to be a little more independent and better able to defend themselves, and so the human species evolved to have less of an instinct to scream or complain in men than it did in women.