I was, as a pedestrian, hit by a car this past weekend. I suffered a concussion so I have no memory of the event but I was told the car didn’t stop, there were no skid marks but it was obvious the person knew they hit someone according to an eye witness.
That is all fine and I was lucky with only road rash and a few cracked ribs but when I was talking to my Mother explaining what happened she tried to make things “better” by saying “well I am sure they feel bad about it now”.
So here is my question, I think that a person who can hit a pedestrian, know they hit their head hard and not stop are the type of person who can probably find a way justify their actions in their mind.
Sure they may feel some guilt but is the type of person who would leave another human for dead be the type that would really fret over it later?
To be 100% clear I would prefer if they were caught but I really don’t have any hatred towards them.
Thanks
(Yes I know this is an oversimplification thus the placement in IMHO)
I’m sorry you got struck; that has to suck. I do imagine that most people, in that situation, probably panic; maybe they do feel like crap when it wears off, but by then they’re scared, so…I know I wouldn’t do that myself, but I can see it happening that way for someone else.
Glad you will be ok, and glad you’re not super pissed. That’s just one more burden to carry on with.
I think it would eat me up but I do understand fear…
I am tempted to write a “Hey I just wanted to know I am OK if you were wondering but please stop if there is a next time because a life may depend on it.” post for craigslist.
It is just a little odd to decide what tone to use. Heck, I may have been at fault, for the crash part.
I would say some do, some don’t. If the reason they didn’t stop was because they’re a sociopathic asshole who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves, then they don’t. But if they failed to stop because they were scared or are here illegally or driving without a license/valid registration and afraid of going to jail, then yes they would feel extremely guilty.
I think they’re so overcome with fear of being caught that there’s little room for empathy and guilt. The person in question has probably read the news report and is happy that you’re not seriously injured (for both your sakes). However, now that they know you’re not at death’s door, the thoughts of self-preservation will push aside almost all the of guilt except for occasional memories out of the blue.
There was a TV episode on this subject some years ago. As best I recall, it was a Twilight Zone show. Guy commits a hit-and-run. Over the next several days, his car takes on a life and a will of its own and hounds the guy until he finally breaks down and turns himself in.
I interpret that as the personification and projection of the guy’s guilt away from himself and into his car.
Anybody else remember that show, or any more details about it?
ETA: Here, let me google that for myself: The episode is “You Drive”, January 1964.
I have no problem believing hit and run drivers feel no guilt whatsoever, unless they are caught whereupon massive sorries and tears ensue trying to mitigate jail time.
I don’t think you’re going to get any answer better than this, unfortunately.
Estimates are that 1-2% of the population are psychopaths. But there might be a selection effect making hit-and-run drivers more likely to be psychopaths than people randomly selected from the general population.
Some hit-and-run drivers might have panicked. They might be normal, everyday people who just made a really bad decision in a moment of strong emotion. Panic generally doesn’t improve anybody’s judgment. Those people probably do feel bad afterward.
Some might be drunk or on drugs, and not want to deal with the legal consequences of being found driving under the influence. Or their judgment might be impaired because they are drunk or on drugs. How these people feel afterward is probably going to vary depending on just what they were using and how impaired they were.
Some might have poor judgment because they are very young or very old. Most of us did stuff as teenagers that we as adults would consider to be in poor judgment. Some age-related mental problems can result in poor judgment.
Even if the person who did hit the OP were caught, what they say after they’re caught doesn’t necessarily reflect how they actually feel. They might not care about hitting you, but be very, very sorry that they got caught.
Hit and runs are relatively common. I doubt most of them make the news. If mine did, I never saw it.
I think a sense of guilt will depend on the person committing the crime. Although I will say that since there seems to be no evidence that he even slowed down or attempted to avoid you… I’m kinda doubting he’ll feel bad about it later. He might have been high or something.
I doubt mine felt any remorse either. We actually made eye contact after the hit – he looked pretty vacant, and then he drove off in the time it took me to glance down at my arm to assess the damage. It’s like it hadn’t even penetrated his skull that his car was damaged and he’d hurt me. Mine might have been high, too. I got a partial plate but they never found him.
Hell, I only almost hit beloved SC news anchor Susan Aude while driving in downtown Columbia once and still feel bad about it 20 or more years later. I saw the guy who was behind her, and he was at a safe distance from the curb. What I overlooked (literally) was that he was pushing her wheelchair in front of him. I probably missed her by less than a foot.
I’ve been ‘hit & run’ twice, once on a bike, once while walking. I still walk a lot, but I’m very careful. I figure the third time will probably be the end of me.
I don’t know if the two that hit me felt guilt or feel it now. I don’t hate them, but whatever remorse they feel, it’s not enough.
About a month ago, someone “hit and ran” my parked car and totaled it. An hour after it happened, the police officer took my statement and that of the witnesses. That was when the car and its owner came back.
It’s a long story. What came out was that the owner hadn’t been the driver, just a passenger. After the accident, the owner dropped off the driver and then returned to the scene. She wouldn’t tell them who the driver was. I suspect the involvement of drugs and/or alcohol. I don’t know what happened in the end except that they impounded her car.
I don’t think this chick actually returned because of guilt, but rather because she knew she’d been seen and that it was a matter of time before she was found out. But I don’t know enough about her to believe she DIDN’T have any guilt.
I’m betting that most hit-and-run drivers have reason to hide. Like, they were driving with a suspended license, under the influence, or without insurance.
I do imagine that most people, in that situation, probably panic; maybe they do feel like crap when it wears off, but by then they’re scared, so…I know I wouldn’t do that myself, but I can see it happening that way for someone else.