Also, re: SnakesCatLady - I don’t get this. I’m not asking for shorts of insufficient length to cover one’s ass(ets.) I’m just talking about something in which I don’t sweat as much as if I were in jeans.
I’m not saying you are, I’m saying that if its not one thing, its another, and I would love knee-length shorts.
Hi, Little Lord Fauntler-- opps, sorry! Hi, Ogre.
Nice shorts. 
Ah. Gotcha.
And hoo-boy - don’t get me started on the extra-long shorts which are actually cut-off jeans. Man, talk about ridiculous. Are those even in style any more? I saw my brother in a pair of those once and commented, “Put a pair of stirrups on those and a few more pounds on your ass, and you could be my 9th grade English teacher.”
Luckily, he doesn’t run as fast as he used to.
I think they are just pointing out that we women have an equally bad problem. Yours are too long, ours are too short. Way too fucking short. It’s insane, really.
One time, my friends and I went shopping for matching outfits. We decided upon Old Navy, as they have a nice, wide range of sizes. My two friends were size 00 twins and I was, well, my (at the time) size 14 wide ass. We picked out red tank tops and denim shorts. Well, it was the damndest thing: we held up their size 00 shorts to my size 14 shorts- they were the EXACT SAME LENGTH, mine were just like, 4 times as wide. It was amazing and made no goddamn sense.
The point is, we chicks have our fair share of shorts issues too. Shorts are a plague upon all peoples.
Them there fluffy blue bows on your high-heeled ballet shoes make your “shorts” problem a secondary concern.
This thread would have been sooo much better if Ogre had titled it “Do I LOOK like I’m fucking Little Lord Fauntleroy?”
Because that’s how I read it the first time.
Yes. Yes, you do. Now here’s a hoop and a stick. Go play.
But faaaaaaaaaaaaaathah! The servants say it’s not safe for me outside, with the peasants at the gate (filthy creatures,) and the damp humours which may cause my carefully oiled ringlets to droop.
Dude, Life would be a lot less stressful if you’d just check LL Bean first. I’ve found this to be sage advice for about 68% of the things people stress over.
It’s been a long time since I’ve read the book, but I’m almost certain that Little Lord Fauntleroy did not, in fact, fuck.
All you people actually wear shorts outside the house? 
“I think my department is going to downsize me. How am I going to pay my mortgage if I get laid off?”
“Check LL Bean!”
“My wife is cheating on me!”
“Check LL Bean!”
“The doctor says it’s cancerous.”
“Check LL Bean!”
Maybe Bean is hiring.
If I dressed better, she see I was still attractive. I wonder if LL Bean has anything?
So I guess I’d better enjoy Life while I can. Better get some new equipment so I can go camping and hiking on God’s Green Earth.
Great place to buy but whatever you do please don’t buy the pleated shorts. Ever.
Exactly!
I realize I don’t have the figure I once had - while my ass doesn’t sag to my knees it’s not quite as perky as it once was. I refuse to be one of the women who dresses in a way that makes people scream for eye bleach. I still have nice legs, so shorts aren’t bad on me. And for Georgia summers, shorts are a necessity.
May I also suggest Land’s End? Good for what ails ya.
And for the ladies (such as m’self), consider these. They’re “Neat and discreet”!
ETA: One of these companies, LL Bean or Land’s End - I forget which, also sells their stuff at Sears.
Re: LL Bean (HIV? Call LL Bean!), Land’s End, etc. Yeah, it’s a possibility, but I like to be able to try clothes on before I buy, not order, then send back if they suck.
I’m ordering from Columbia because I lucked into getting a pair I liked in a store, so I’m stocking up on 'em.
I had to read your title three times before I was certain that you are not in fact fucking Little Lord Fauntleroy. It’s been a long day.
Might I suggest http://www.utilikilts.com/ ?
The trend in Spain in recent years has been to make jeans (and shorts, even more) with “low waists”, to emphasize the hips.
Those of us who do not own tramp stamps and whose hips don’t need additional emphasification would like our waists back. I don’t care if it’s “Mommy jeans”; I’ll play with the length of the top. I do not want my coccix to catch a cold and I do not want to moon the world every time I sit down! It does not look good on the plumber and it does not look good on me!
My brothers have some “convertible” pants: the lower leg can be taken off, to turn them from cargo pants to cargo shorts. Since Middlebro’s dream pockets would be cousins to Mary Poppins’ handbag, he discovered that when he’s looking for that kind of trousers he needs to try them on with the pockets “loaded”. Some of them have such long pockets (as another poster mentioned) that if he so much as tosses a single item in them, the bottom of the pocket peeks out of the bottom of the shorts.