I’ve eschewed shorts for a couple of years now in favor of capri’s.
My own personal hell will soon be trying to find a new swim suit.
Lucky you! I don’t think I’d have the guts anymore. That ship sailed in the late 80s.
Ahhhh, the infamous “manpris”.
Have you tried Bluefly?
What in the unholy name of fuck is up with pleats anyway? Does anyone look good in them? Sheesh, first they hoaxed the Moon landings, then they brought down the WTC with explosives, and now they conspire to make me look like a dork! The whole damned world has turned against me personally.
A few years ago, I paid a consultant $300 to tell me how to dress more like a hottie and less like a geek. Her first advice? No pleats, no cuffs. My friends, let me tell you something: Every article of clothing in the known universe, socks included, is pleated and cuffed thoroughly and completely. “OK, so we conspired to kill Kennedy. What other mass conspiracy can we engage in? I know! Let’s take over the garment industry so that tdn looks like a geek forever! Mwa ha ha ha!”
Fuckers.
May I recommend JCPenney? It was the only place I could find a decent one. I have a long torso so it’s difficult for me to wear a one-piece. I also do not want to wear a bikini because I do not want to blind people with my white stomach. So I wanted one of those two-pieces with the longer top. I also desired silly things like something to hold my breasts in place. I found all of those things at JCPenney for $25 (and in a tall size!). Amazing.
As a woman, I’ll testify that a skirt is often the best way to dress for hot weather.
I’m glad to see some Utilikilts models offer modesty systems–for working on the ladder!
So just what are “7-day” clothes? I’ve seen them advertised online here and there, but no explanation is given. I don’t keep up with fashion news…so someone help me out here?
The idea of an ogre dressed like Little Lord Fauntleroy makes me want to play some D&D.
Is that so wrong?
I came in just to tell you all about LL Bean and Lands End.
But no pleats. Come on, people. I’ve been fighting the good fight about pleats for years and there’s never an end to the war.
Y’know, in spite of the heavy metal image the Utilikilts folks are trying to convey, I just can’t help but think of the infamous Dorcus Collection.
I like my shorts long, but I’m not heading out to go frame a house every time I put on a pair of shorts. It’s been hard for me to find shorts the length I prefer without buying 57 pockets I don’t need. I hate that shit. They get bunched up and wrinkled the first time you wash them and big khaki pockets are tough to iron out. Plus, I hate the damn button flap on the back pockets. I don’t want to fiddle with that, dammit, I just want to get my wallet out!
Besides the asinine length of men’s “shorts”, we have the asinine bagginess. I’ve got skinny legs. I don’t need big-ass carpenter cargo utility “shorts” to make 'em look even skinnier.
Like the French revolutionaries, I want to be “sans-culotte”, without these huge-ass baggy below-the-knees culottes.
That’s what I thought kilts were!
So, Ogre, you looking for something more like this?
I was going to mention Columbia, but I see you’ve already been hipped to them. My husband owns his favorite style of Columbia shorts in every color. They are kind of modified cargo style (without the enormous, floppy, ‘bologna sandwich pockets’), flat front, reasonably tailored, and some to just above his knees.
Levis also makes some decent jean shorts – basically just regular 5-pocket jeans, but cut to just above the knee. Kevin has 3 pairs of those – 2 in regular denim and one in stonewashed. He bought those several years ago, though, so they might not be available anymore.
Me, I wear capris. My legs aren’t in too bad a shape, but they are blindingly white. Fake-bake turns me orange and, after watching my mom deal with skin cancers for the last few years, I will not tan. I also like sundresses, when I can find a suitable one. A lot of the sundresses now are spaghetti strap or strapless and my braless days are many, many years behind me. When I find a nice sundress – of a decent length and with a bodice which allows for a bra – I buy it in every color that’s even remotely flattering.
I don’t even want to think about a bathing suit. I’ve managed to avoid owning one for the last few years, but this year we bought a boat. My husband wants me to buy a thong bikini – can you imagine? I told him he’d lose his boating license if he exposed the Chesapeake Bay to the sight of my bright white ass in a thong bikini. Jeez.
I just came in because I was wondering what this thread could possibly be about, and it turns out to be a subject near to my heart too. I don’t see the point of trunks and shorts for guys that billow down past the knees either. We ought to be wearing as little as we can get away with for the beach, or on hot days. Well, OK, not quite that little, but maybe one day men’s and women’s shorts will meet in the middle. I think about a mid-thigh length, when standing is good for shorts on men. As a man, of course I like short shorts on women but I can appreciate where the ones who have posted here are coming from when they complain about the shortness of women’s shorts.
One issue with men’s shorts, though, is the overall bagginess of men’s pants these days, to begin with. Before shorter shorts will come back, we have to move back to wearing pants that actually fit. When I started working out in 1989, everyone wore little running or P.E. type shorts in the gym, but these days we’re all wearing such baggy long shorts that the crotch dangles down lower than what used to be the hems of the old gym shorts. I do see some shorter shorts appearing, though, so maybe at least in the gym the wheel is turning around.
Mmmm…sundresses.
I think what killed men’s shorts was a trifecta of hip-hop fashion influences, Bill Clinton’s short running shorts, and what I now realize was the male short-short’s last hurrah were those Mossimo shorts that had the “M” on the back, looking like a size marker. Everyone seemed to be wearing medium. They were very short by today’s standards, but also quite baggy, which meant that they could be less than discreet when performing certain excercises.
I wear my bathing suit with a pair of stretchy, knee-length bicycle-type shorts underneath it - the world does not need to see my naked thighs. Since I had this epiphany a while ago, I have never felt so free and comfortable around the pool. Regular bathing suits on women look incredibly short and skimpy to me now.
As an added bonus, I only have to shave up to the shorts line!
Sorry, was that too much information? 
Wait. Are you saying these aren’t stylish anymore?
::Looks at wrist::
::flees to change watch::