Do it yourself sensory deprivation

Miscellaneous? Very. Pointless? Even more so. Must share? No, but I’m going to subject to this drivel anyway.

It had been a lousy week, by any definition. Normally, I’m quite happy to be working, and will put in fair amount of my own time to experience the satisfaction of a job well done. That’s how it used to be, anyway. Downsized staff and budgets, freezes on raises and travel have all gnawed at my morale… So I’ll readily admit to sitting down at my desk with full intentions of spending the afternoon on SDMB. But alas, a cretinous, golden showering, horse-wanking hacker had to go steal all my fun, and the mornings posts as well. Forced to work, I head home at the earliest opportunity.

A few drinks later, I decide good old-fashioned healthy exercise will help erase the work week from my memory. Forgetting that I hadn’t really slept in 24 hours, nor eaten (having only taken in vodka tonics for sustenance,) off I go for a bit of a run. I’m light headed early on, but rather enjoying the disjointed feeling. I even get the rare and much appreciated whistle from a passing coed [could have been a soccer mom, but this is my story]. Having worked up a healthy sweat, I begin shedding clothing as I near my home. I hurdle the fence, and dive headlong into the pool. Shit, the water is 94 fucking degrees and I think I’m going to have a heart attack.

I let myself float to the surface, eyes closed, ears underwater with only my breathing to hear, and the water so close to my own body temperature that I can’t feel it. With little sensory input and my head already spinning, I first feel like I’m back in the womb, and then a sensation of continual falling takes hold. After much time, I open my eyes to the sky. I’m greeted by a vision of a huge other-worldly creature formed from the wispy tendrils of the few remaining clouds. The body and hood of cobra, the head of wolf, he spans a full quarter of sky. He looks down on me with his preternatural blue eyes and I know he is trying to tell me something. But I’m not paying attention. I look away, and when I attempt to find him again he is gone. His form dispersed by the slight breeze.

Slowly the realization sets in, he had been speaking to me. “Order a goddam pizza and get something to eat, you dumb bastard. And what’s with turning down a date with that dancer? Dork. And another thing… Hey! Are you even paying attention?”

In your face, space coyote!


Knish, I think you could more accurately express your sentiment with: yawn or perhaps: <snores>. Your repetitive letter approach has me worrying that you had some type of seizure while posting, please let me know you are OK.

He is now on the way to the hospital. Thanks for the alert!

Waverly drinks too much, hallucinates, and still manages to save a man’s life <patting self on back>. Remind him that autoerotic asphyxiation should be practiced with extreme caution, and send him Waverly’s best wishes for a speedy recovery.