I had two book cases full that I boxed up and every week or so I’d take two or three and drop them off at donation centers. I’d rotate among four locations so they wouldn’t see me coming and block me out. Lol.
But I was discerning in where I took certain boxes. To the resale shop connected with a Dutch reform church I took many old books of faith we inherited from the in-laws. Pilgrims progress( fricking 5 copies) a signed copy of some authoritative tome, and other oldies. The local Mel Trotter was gifted freshman textbooks, Calvin and Hobbes and doonesnury soft covers. The camp store was gifted science texts and Natural history
I do too, but I can see why people might really want their stuff to have more life/be helpful to someone else.
I had something of a hard time after Dad had died and Mom had gone into the memory care facility and we basically went through their stuff, got the few things we were interested in keeping, and got rid of the rest. It felt somehow like it was disrespectful or something to just unceremoniously get rid of it, even if some was being donated to worthy causes. Kind of a “All that effort and love, and we’re just getting rid of it like it’s trash” kind of feeling, even though I know intellectually that the junk removal people we used donated what was worthy.
Thinking about that with respect to my own crap is kind of the same way; while I’m not actually sentimental about any of it myself, it feels like as a whole, I’d like it to be helpful to my kids if at all possible, and if not that, then someone else ought to benefit from it. But again, intellectually I know that a lot of it isn’t even worth anything in the present day, and certainly will be trash in another 30 years or so. It’s just a sobering thing to think about.
I inherited some family china. I don’t really use it, but I do use parts of it from time-to-time. I use the small plates for special times we have cake and the tea cups for ice cream. I’ll probably never use the full set, but occasionally using the pieces like this is a nice way to remember the relatives it came from.
Lot’s of cheaper trophies have the actual trophy part, and then a separate plate with an engraved message. So if you own say, a dance studio, you can buy old dance trophies for cheap and swap out the plate.
To each their own on what is collectible and valuable but I’m of the mindset if it’s a pattern I like I’ll accept the fine china and vintage silverware sets, ditto on old coins and jewelry. Even some clothes, I wear my dad’s jean jacket and my mom’s silk scarves sometimes together! I wish my head would’ve fit her hats those were groovy. But at a certain point there’s no room to keep a lot of stuff no matter how sentimental or valuable.
China Coffee cups and saucers I don’t personally use but I do use a china cup to scoop cat kibble and the little saucers for their food.
At least somewhat related: we (me and my siblings) inherited a grandfather’s rock/mineral collection. Nothing wonderful, it was just his hobby for many years. Besides the ‘sample’ rocks of various minerals, he’d picked up oddities like the Lord’s Prayer etched in a tiny font on a piece of shale, a kind of nice geode, some fossils (boring stuff like fern leafs, not dinos) he’d found himself, and rocks he just thought had an ‘interesting’ shape or color or inclusion.
For no clear reason, I ended up in possession of it, and some years back I decided I really had no desire for it to be around. I contacted all my sibs and their offspring, and later posted on the general family web site, but nobody expressed any interest.
So what I did was remove all the stones from their boxes/displays and take off any tags or labels. And then over a few months I ‘seeded’ this stuff along an old farm-type stone wall that runs along behind all the back yards in our suburban subdevelopment. I’d just tuck a stone in here or there in a chink or gap between the medium to large sized stones the wall was made from. Nobody noticed or said anything at the time – there’s a line of trees that have grown up along the wall, and it’s a pleasantly shady place to walk especially in the summer and nobody cares.
But a couple of years later I saw a clump of local kids talking excitedly about the ‘gold rock’ one of them had found. (Pyrite, of course.) And for a while the neighbor kids were rockhounds, finding all sorts of ‘neat-o’ stuff!
So, a happy result I think. What was just clutter for me, but parts of his collection live on. I’m sure the fact that they found these treasures by themselves are what gave the kids pleasure. Some day no doubt their grandchildren will be faced with disposing of those stupid stones Grandpa always kept tucked away.
When it comes to furniture, I’ve found that Habitat (with their Restore shop) is more likely to take something. And I think to some degree even the younger generation will take some furniture, but it tends to need to be smaller, lighter, and less brown. Even better if it’s somehow cleverly functional. So a mid century modern dining table or a Danish modern bookcase is more likely to be a yes than the heavy oak table that can seat twelve with leaves or the old leather recliner or sectional couch. Again, a combination of space, portability, style (always ephemeral, of course) and perceived value.
My parents have been married over fifty years. They’ve lived in the same house for over thirty. They still have some things they accumulated in their early married life in their early twenties. Books, records, some older dishes and silverware, etc. The only way I’m taking a good chunk of that when the time comes is if I’m living in that house and don’t have to move it. And I like some of their stuff that’s from before I was born.
Actually, I’m surprised there hasn’t been a trend towards a Japanese style aesthetic. Futons, low small tables, kotatsus, etc. Things that move easily and get pushed around a small apartment.
Between this and the storage unit thread, I’m developing an urge to throw everything out! However, I don’t have a lot of stuff. Everything belongs to my husband or his late mother. One of these days, though…
My parents recently delivered a bunch of my old shit that I mostly don’t care about (why would I want a tiny FFA jacket from the 80s)?
I’m going through this stuff now. I’m taking pictures of the stuff I might want to revisit, but it’s all going in the trash. I’ll have digital memories for the things I might want to remember later.
I feel I am getting that way. Memories seem to be disappearing from my childhood.
My memories are getting vague as well. But I’m wondering why it matters. If I don’t remember something on its own merits, is it okay to just let it go?
Rather than throwing away stuff that could still be used, consider giving it away using sites like Freecycle or the free section of Craigslist. However, giving stuff away can be surprisingly hassle-prone since people will act like moochers and expect you to hold items or deliver them to their house. An alternative is to have a regular garage sale, but have everything be free. Don’t advertise that everything’s free. When people show up, tell them that everything is free. Presenting it as a garage sale means you won’t have to deal with a bunch of texts and emails about the stuff and will filter out the unreasonable moochers.
Of course it’s ok for you to let it go. But my issue is not exactly that I don’t remember. It’s that I have vague, non- specific memories that sometimes don’t really make sense. If I didn’t have any memory of an event, I wouldn’t know that it ever happened. Instead , I remember going to Manhattan frequently , but not who I went with or if it was while I was in high school or college. There probably were some photos that would help pin it down , but I don’t have them anymore. I remember going to concerts - but not where or who I went with. If I had the ticket stubs, it would jog my memory.
My mother tried to give Habitat for Humanity an oak desk she had that really needed to be refinished on the top. They said no. I suspect there will be a lot of her stuff that just ends up being thrown in the trash. Just like a lot of my stuff when I go.
Years ago, I had to overcome a psychological hurdle when it came to books. After all, reading is FUNdamental. I had to have a heart-to-heart with myself and tell myself books aren’t sacred. Most of the ones I had were mass produced and tossing them wasn’t some sort of mortal sin.
Yeah, my in laws say the same mentality. And because my wife grew up in the country with depression era-minded parents who never made much money, she has all sorts of “poor person” affectations.
The most annoying is the accumulation of “stuff”. Garbage mostly. But for some reason she can’t part with a single scrap of garbage lest she throw away some important receipt or ten year old magazine she hasn’t read yet. But the problem is that our living area is so cluttered with garbage and my wife is so disorganized in keeping track of anything that anything she actually needs to keep track of gets lost in the piles of garbage.
My mom’s got that mentality, too. With her it’s mostly about saving old Cool Whip containers to store leftovers in, or if a bunch of vegetables comes with a rubber band around it she’ll save the rubber band to reuse later.
I used to do that, too, just because she taught me to. But I later came to realize all I really got from it was a junk drawer full of old rubber bands and twist ties that I rarely used for anything, and a stack of old plastic food containers taking up space in the cupboard. One day I realized they were just taking up space, and from then on I started throwing those things out rather than saving them. Still, when my parents come to visit and mom sees me throwing one of those items out, she’s like “You know, you can reuse that.” I know I could, but I already have all the food storage containers / rubber bands / twist ties / whatever I need. Saving one more isn’t going to benefit me.
It’s all about the mental default being “Keep unless you have an immediate concrete reason to dispose” versus “Dispose unless you have an immediate concrete reason to keep”.
Method two is very freeing. Method 1 is … something.
