Do Not Make Me An Accessory To Your Death

Hey walnut brain, if you insist on killing yourself, do it without my help. Yes, I know that my ½ ton pick-up could have taken you out nicely. I’m sure that I would have been able explain to the DPS officer that, although I crushed you like a fucking bug, it wasn’t really my fault. Little consolation to your NOK, I’m afraid.

And about those black sweats you choose to wear. Wow, great camouflage for riding in the dark! No headlight, taillight, or blinking strobe lights on your bike, no reflective stripes on your clothes, no neat helmet that makes your head look like pterodactyls. Shit, I probably wouldn’t have been able to miss you at all if that damn bike manufacturer hadn’t attached those little reflectors to the pedals. Believe me, if there had been a place for me to stop, I would have pulled you off that bike and tried to beat some fucking sense into you. That probably isn’t possible, but maybe I would have made myself feel better.

Just a couple of questions, please. Why were you riding your bike between the traffic lanes and not in the designated bike lane? Yes, that four foot wide bike lane that is so clearly marked by reflector paint and those cute international bike symbols. Were you drunk and on your way home from an all-nighter? Hate your wife and kids and just don’t give a shit anymore? Could you have been trying to make a left turn? Don’t think that’s it. You were on the dotted white line between the curb lane and the second lane. Two more lanes and a half a mile further and then maybe you could have turned left - onto a freeway off-ramp where your stupid ass would have been killed for sure. So, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that if your weren’t drunk or seriously trying to kill yourself, you were just asserting your right to ride your bike wherever you fucking well please. Oh, and yes, I do recognize that you have every right to use the road just like me, or that giant semi-bottom dump material hauler that almost got you too. But really, I don’t want to be the one to do the gene pool a favor just because you’re an idiot. If you’re going to ride your bike in traffic on a state highway, in the dark, do it properly. Next time, I may not be so lucky.

What an idiot!!!
That is a little something I like to call “natural selection”

Lucky you left your “Mad Max” brand front grill spikes at home.

No no no, Machine Gun Joe had the grill spikes, well, swords, really, Max just had the magic breakaway fender dispenser.

Shit, Frankenstein had the actual grill spikes, now that I think about it. That and a hand grenade hand.

As fer the OP:
I’m pretty sure that’s the same jackass I had to swerve to avoid running over t’other night. Apparently, someone forgot to tell me the big hunk of asphalt with the dotted yellow line down the middle was a jogging path.

Damn right. I’m a firm believer in the right of cyclists to their share of the road, but you’re just fucking asking for trouble if you go out after dark without appropriate clothing and markers, let alone lights. Ditto for joggers, for that matter, although they need not wear lights!

I’m not sure what the rules are in the US, but i’m pretty sure that in Australia, where i’m originally from, anyone cycling after dark MUST, by law, have lights on the bike. Correct me if i’m wrong.

Sounds like any sane cop wouldn’t even have taken you in if you’d hit the fool.

On the other hand, I can see where killin’ someone unexpectedly isn’t something you’d really wanna deal with, even if the law chose not to bother you about it…

I would be interested to know if any driver had succesfully sued the deceised rider’s estate for the mental trauma involved in having accidentally killed the (checking forum…) fuckwit invisible darwin award wanna-be.

Cheers, Keithy

You aren’t anywhere near Austin are you?
I’ve had lots of near darwins with the cyclists around here, myself.

Every so often a slew of disaffected college types get their patchuli smellin’ freak on by disrupting traffic in large portions of the downtown area, usually during the 5-8pm “rush”.

I’m still not terribly sure what they’re upset about. They have bike lanes in a large part of downtown and central town. The cops aren’t terribly scrict in enforcing the traffic laws in regards to them, unless they are in the middle of a traffic slow down.

What really chaps my hide is the packs of them that ride during any damn weather at all all over the hillcountry, two lane roads.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge the two wheeler’s right to asphalt, but when they take up an entire lane AND the shoulder making it impossible to pass them and slowing petroleum powered transportation to ridiculously low speeds, well I feel like my rights to asphalt have been infringed upon.

I’m up for any suggestions for resoltuion of this, shy of anything felonious or overtly dangerous to the madbiker type.

I’m near Phoenix and I’m sure the law here requires lights after dark.

I hadn’t actually considered the mental trauma angle.

I came really close to hitting the fool and I really don’t know how I did manage to miss him. It gave my that, cold all over nerve tingle, and I had the brick in the stomach for about an hour. When I glanced in my mirror to see if he had fallen, I was even more surprised that the semi didn’t get him. If I had been side by side with that truck, that guy would have been jello.

Phoenix ls also known for being a #1 spot in the nation for pedestrian fatalities. I never felt unsafe riding a bike in San Diego but can’t imagine riding one on the street here.