I think cars in general can turn reasonable people into idiots. And that’s because they feel they are safe from other people in their metal fortress.
It seems to me to be a regional thing. I knew a salesman in Chicago that slit a guy’s tires because he zipped into a parking spot the salesman had been waiting for. Also in Chicago, if you are on the expressway and signal that you are changing lanes, most of the time the person in the other lane will speed up to close the gap so you can’t make the change.
I was in Boston a few times on business, I think there are drivers in Boston that tape their horn down so it is permanently engaged.
In LA people will stop if they see you need to cross the road. In NYC they dare you to step off the curb.
In St. Pete, Florida people seem to go out of their way to let you go in front of them.
Are you far enough back that I can get out safely?
Because I have just sat there when the person “waiting for my parking space” is actually more in a position that looks like they’re “waiting for me to back into them, or the cars along side me, then call their insurance company.”
Then, every so often, I’m just fussing around in my car because I didn’t notice you. (Once, I had just pulled in, and was organizing some papers. Someone sent their kid to knock on my car door and ask if I was leaving soon. I was amazed at the absolute gall).
But I do not just sit there to punish the other person for waiting.
IIRC, it showed that people take 30% longer if they know someone is waiting.
It’s this kind of passive-agressive behavior I have always found baffling in my fellow man. I’ve theorized that they at one point have been inconvenienced, and finding themselves in a position of power, they use it to lash out with some of their agressions and frustrations.
You sometimes see the same behavior with bathroom stalls in a crowded place, or with customers monopolizing the cashier when there’s a long line. (Who hasn’t sighed in frustration because the person ahead of them won’t move until they’ve balanced their checkbook, fished out their keys, checked their reciept, chatted with the cashier, rearranged their bags and done countless other delaying tactics?)
It’s simply revenge of the frustrated. They may realize they’re contributing to a cycle of poor behavior, but they simply don’t care. It appeals to the streak of meanness that dwells within the blackest part of the human soul.
I don’t know about that couple, but I do it if the waiting car has pulled right up on my bumper so that it takes me 5 minutes to get out.
Quite so.
The only real “emotional investment” that gets to me is when one guy decides to block the entire aisle while he’s waiting for someone else to pull out, and another guy gets behind him… and then another… until finally, the entire aisle is full of idling cars… and the last one is blocking the perpendicular aisle that feeds INTO that aisle of the parking lot… and there’s fifty cars idling, all waiting on that one guy, because the guy who wants his space either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that he’s locked the entire parking lot up cold…
THEN, perhaps, I get emotional. Otherwise, who cares? My legs work fine, thank you. If I see a near spot, I’ll get it. Otherwise, there’s plenty of parking at the far end.
Baffling? Really? I can explain it just fine.
If I’m parked in a lot where there’s plenty of parking - albeit outlying parking, maybe not right next to the store - and you stalk me with your car as I walk out of the store to my car, the proceed to block the lane - often, block BOTH lanes - causing slowdowns and backups for all the other people trying to park, then HELL YES I’m going to go out of my way to make the experience unpleasant for you so that you QUIT #@@IN’ DOING IT.
It’s RUDE to follow someone in your car and wait for a parking spot. Not only is it creepy for the person you’re following, it screws up the traffic in the lanes as well. Think about it - as you crawl around, the person behind you, who may be perfectly happy to park that extra 20 feet from the store, also has to crawl along. Even if there’s nobody behind you, there’s a good chances someone will show up as you wait for person to leave their parking space.
I will concede that this behavior is moderately acceptable in situations where the parking lot is completely full. But only when you’ve checked out the street parking and such, and there really is no other parking. However, if it’s simply to get a spot a few feet closer to the store, Good Lord people, walk a few steps! We’re a country of overweight out of shape people! Walking an extra 50 feet is GOOD for you! And if you are physically unable to do so then go get a fookin’ handicapped sticker - there’s plenty of handicapped spaces right next to the store just for you.
I used to do this, and I wouldn’t rule out doing so again. The reason I took to doing it is because I was blocked in by someone waiting for someone else’s space at least once. The other reason is when I first started driving, I knew how much room I wanted around me when pulling out of a space and I got fed up with people not leaving me as much room as I wanted. I have eased up on this after circling a few completely filled parking lots. On the other hand, there was a time when I had a prime spot at a local shopping center. I was stopping by my car to drop off some purchases before going on to a bookstore about 2 stores down in the opposite direction from where I had been. As I opened my trunk, a man stopped and waited for my space, blocking the aisle. The place I was wasn’t just a parking aisle; it was a main through street for the shopping center. As I stowed things, about 3 or 4 cars lined up behind him, waiting to get through. I must admit, one reason for my decision to go on to the bookstore was this twit’s insistence on blocking traffic and and inconvenienceing other people so he wouldn’t have to walk as far. Yes, when I pulled into the space it was open and there wasn’t anyone behind me, and no, the other guy wasn’t happy when I continued my shopping.
CJ
Let’s get a few things straight here.
If a person just pulled into a parking lot, saw you get into a car, and wants your space, then if you do anything to intentionally take more time just to make him wait, YOU ARE BEHAVING ANTI-SOCIALLY, in the true sense of “anti-social”. You are just doing something to upset a fellow man who did NOTHING to you. It doesn’t matter if there’s another spot 20 feet away. It doesn’t matter if they followed you for a few feet.
Now, you might have to put in a CD, get on your sunglasses, etc. That’s fine, but if you do anything you wouldn’t normally do just to make someone wait longer, that is simply anti-social behavior and you really need to look at yourself and ask why you’re doing it. Why are you just simply making things more difficult for your fellow man? I have an acquaintance that admitted to me once that she enjoys making someone wait. FWIW, she’s also at about -3 on the “self-esteem” scale.
And, if you want to drum up the “evils” of “stalking” or “taking up too much room for others” or “why can’t he walk a little further”, you are just justifying your anti-social behavior. Those things have nothing to do with you. They are not putting you out. They are not inconveniencing you.
You know, it’s just that things like letting someone into traffic or getting out of your spot quicker are just some of the routine good deeds you can do in daily life. I really have to wonder about the psyche of people who intentionally are rude to a complete stranger.
How is you waiting in your car actually making those things better. . .negative reinforcement for future encounters? Excuse me while I guffaw.
Just so you know, I’m counteracting you, because, personally, in those situations, I try to be even faster, and give the “just a sec” signal to the “waiter” so that they know I know they’re there, and I’m going to let them in faster. I guess I’m just encouraging “stalking”. :rolleyes:
When I’m waiting for you to pull out, the cars behind me know its a full lot. They know I’m just waiting for the spot. And they know you’re a bitch when you get in your car an sit there for 2 minutes while we’re all backed up.
Fine. It happens all the time in the city. So, you get in your car, pull out, I pull in and the line of traffic pulls through. Happens all the time. It would be a lot nicer if people were a little quicker.
So, you punished the guy who would get your spot, and the people behind him (who will have to wait for him to do it again further down the road) just because you disapprove of his behavior?
Pardon me for thinking YOU’RE the asshole here.
That guy just wants a spot. Who doesn’t? You can give up on trying to teach a lesson. It’s not going to happen because most people actually get in their car and leave, so why not act like a generous citizen?
You who do this are just “out to get” people who are behaving normally. Do you realize how petty and ugly you come off?
Excuse me? I’m a bitch because YOU are blocking the lane? Sorry, bud, I don’t buy it. And for what it’s worth, when I’m in my car, and I come up behind someone blocking the lane because they’re waiting for a space when there’s dozens of parking spots a few yards down, I’m pissed at the idiot blocking the lane, not the person in the car. It’s YOUR choice to block the lane, not the person who’s space you want. It’s YOUR fault the lane is backed up.
And, if you read my post, you’ll see that I specifically mention that the behavior is at least understandable when the lot is completely full. I’m not talking about that situation; I’m talking about following me to my car and blocking the lane while I load my groceries (or whatever) when there are perfectly good parking spots a little way down the row.
There’s some good banter on this subject. I see some generalizations being drawn about the ones waiting for the space. Let’s get a few things straight:
There are no spaces 20 feet further down.
I don’t crowd you so you can’t back out.
I’m not fat, lazy, unwilling to walk, etc.
I don’t block the entire row.
I don’t “stalk” or consider waiting “stalking”.
I don’t wait if there are spaces further down the row.
It seems the people that are upset think ALL people waiting for a space are sociopaths, jerks, aggressive tye "A"s, etc.
Are your reactions because those types have truely upset you once or twice? I honestly cannot remember EVER becoming upset or angry because someone was waiting for my spot. I also cannot recall EVER being prevented from leaving by the person waiting. (This seems counterproductive: they want the spot, why would they block you in?)
So, I am the perfect gentlemen (and believe me if I wasn’t my wife would let me know immediately) and yet people still exhibit the behavior so freely admitted to in these replies…
I’m dismayed by what I hear, but I’m beginning to understand.
I would agree that deliberately doing something to delay your departure because someone is waiting is assholish behavior.
BUT, you as the guy waiting cannot make the assumption that the delay is deliberate. There are any number of reasons that a person may legitimately have things to do in the car before departing, and, remember, there is no legal or moral obligation for them to hurry out of the space for your convenience, unless the lot is well and truly jammed.
As for me, I specifically excluded the situation where the parking lot was truly full. I concede, there’s not much you can do when it’s full except to wait for someone to leave a parking spot.
However, even in those situations, I don’t believe it’s EVER acceptable to block a lane waiting for a parking spot. If someone comes up behind you wanting to get through, if they can’t get around, you need to move. The lanes are for driving, not stopping.
Yes, I do get upset when people want me to hurry up and leave simply because they don’t want to walk an extra 50 feet. In essence, you’re asking me to be inconvenienced by having to hurry out of my spot because you don’t want to be inconvenienced by having to walk a little bit extra. Sorry, but I get bristly when people do that.
For those who truly hate being followed to your car: all you have to do is walk up the ‘wrong’ aisle, and then cut across to your car at the last moment.
Now your stalker has to race to the end of the aisle he’s in, zip around to the right one, and make it back down to your slot BEFORE another car spots your tail lights coming on. Such passive-aggressive fun!
If you are with a companion, you can even bet on it. 
I’m the Grinch who hates shopping, period. I approved this message.
I’m not making the assumption. I’m going on a first-hand account from a friend, and some of the replies in this thread.
Of course there is no legal obligation.
Whether there is a moral obligation. . .I’d put it on par with things like not playing a load radio in public, or holding open a door for people. It’s NICE behavior, made even NICER because it’s not illegal.
And, yes, **Athena[b/] you are the bitch. I’m in a parking lot waiting for a spot. I have a reasonable assumption that you’re going to get in your car, start it up, and drive off.
We’re in a PARKING LOT, not a road. You pull into a parking lot to park, and when someone sees a space about to open up, it is reasonable to wait for a moment for them to pull out. All people in parking lots understand this.
It’s like waiting for someone on an airplane to put their overhead baggage in. Or waiting for someone to figure out what they’re ordering at the concession stand. (in both of those situations, I sometimes suspect people are doing this behavior too). There’s an understanding that you sometimes have to WAIT. Those in the position of shortening people’s wait – at the very least – shouldn’t lengthen it.
Perhaps an anology might help here:
Suppose you’re in a bookstore, perusing a display copy of a book. In case A, there is just one copy on display - the others are in sealed slipcases. A stranger comes up to you and says “Could I look at that as soon as you’re done?” - seems like entirely reasonable behavior, and you could justifiably be considered a jerk if you decided to take extra time with the book to inconvenience the stranger.
In case B, there are many copies of the book on display and available for perusal. You say to the stranger “Well, I’m looking at this one - how about one of those copies on the table?” He says “No, I really want to look at that one you’re holding. I’ll just stand here looking over your shoulder until you done with it, which I hope is real soon.” The analogy breaks down here, because it takes only a second to hand the stranger your copy and grab another, and he is not blocking others. But who is the jerk in this second case?
My sense in the case of the parking lot is that the matter can be decided on time. “Hovering” for a spot is justified if your expected time to the store is meaningfully less than if you drove to another parking slot (the time you may block others should also be considered). But hovering when a more distant slot is obviously open, from where you can probably reach the store in the same or less time seems to approach jerkish behavior. And it’s at least understandable, if not exactly praiseworthy, that the person you are waiting for will not wish to cooperate with a jerk.
I question the “reasonableness” of this assumption. As numerous posters have noted, there are many legitimate reasons why someone might get in the car and not drive off instanly. And, unless the lot is so full that by doing so you are depriving other drivers of any chance to park, you are under no moral obligation to do so.
Why is this hard to understand?
Why is anyone surprised or baffled at this behavior? Have you all been living in caves? This has been going on since the dawn of parking lots, people. I bet at least half of the indignant people in this thread have done this very thing.
Go ahead and make excuses about “oh it’s rude” or whatever excuse you need to justify your behavior. I think it’s actually about control. The person dawdling has control over the person waiting. That feels good, so you prolong the experience. Many people do not have a lot of control over their lives and they’ll take what they can get, consciously or subconciously. It’s like when that guy is trying to pass you on the right and you speed up just enough to not let him pass you…that’s a control issue. And it’s normal. Normal enough that the rage in this thread is a bit odd, actually. This sort of shit happens everyday and it’s built into us. What’s the big deal? Accept it, make your choice about how much you want to let it affect you, and get on with your life. If you have such control issues that making someone wait ten minutes in a parking lot is worth it to you, then the other person has to ask themselves if waiting ten minutes is worth it to them. Understand the behavior and all of the sudden you realize that you have a choice.
My two cents.
It’s not. It’s just not the point.
We were talking about people who intentionally make people wait because of the feeling of empowerment, or teaching someone a lesson for being oh so rude as to pause for 30 seconds in a parking lot.
Look, you have a chance in this situation to do your fellow man a favor with absolutely no reward to yourself. How you choose to act in that situation has something to say about your character.