Here’s to you, fuckers. If you see someone putting stuff in their car, you will wait 5 minutes blocking the aisle until they finally get into their car and drive off. Meanwhile, other people are stuck behind your lazy ass waiting for you to do something. Here’s a suggestion jackass: if you don’t see reverse lights, keep driving. You may have to park in a slot further back. Deal with it. You’re probably a fat ass that could use the exercise anyway. If you really needed a spot up front, you’d have a blue card hanging from your mirror. That is all, for now.
Nope, sorry, I’m not a particularly lazy person, nor am I a fatass who needs exercise, nor do I need a blue card hanging from my mirror, but if there’s a spot close to the entrance, and they’re obviously unloading their shopping cart and are gonna drive away in a minute or two, and especially if it’s raining or snowing, I’m gonna sit there and wait a couple minutes for that spot. If that irks you, sitting there behind me, take a chill pill and a deep breath and reflect that in the larger scale of things, in which galaxies and universes are constantly being born and dying, this too shall pass. 
You must learn patience, Grasshopper. Or as the man said, “Eh, where’s the fire?”
And can you swear on this here Bible here that you yourself have never, ever parked your little booty right there in the aisle while Grandma unloaded her four cans of cranberry sauce, because that spot is right there by the entrance, dammit, and all you want is to run in for a gallon of milk, and why should you have to hike in from the boonies just for a gallon of milk, thus necessitating the guy in the car behind you having to take a chill pill, deep breath, reflect, etc.?
Uh huh. I thought so.
I have no god, but I can swear on that. If their reverse lights are on or they’ve at least started the vehicle, I may wait. I’ve never seen someone putting their stuff in the vehicle and wait. It would take less time to walk from the back of the parking lot than to wait on them. And usually when I go to Walmart (or any store for that matter), I’m only going for one or two things. Last time I went, which is what inspired this thread, I went for a pair of bootlaces. I parked in the first aisle I drove down in the last empty space I could see. As I walked to the store, I saw another empty space or two that were closer, but I wasn’t lazy enough to care. I mean I’m a pretty damn lazy person, but come on… If I’m only going for one thing, I’m not going to take all day/night to look for a parking space.
Of course right now I’m driving an unusually large truck, so sometimes I intentionally park towards the back so I can take two parking spaces instead of having my truck stick out in the isle. I’ve gone even more extreme on my bike, parking in the very back and walking 5 minutes so my bike is in plain view of passerbyers hopefully decreasing the chances of it getting stolen. Even in my car, I never go down more than two or three aisles before choosing a spot, and I only waste that much time if it’s packed. I don’t expect other people to park in the back without looking for a spot, but waiting several minutes with people behind you is rude and disrespectful.
Plenty of times I’ll pass by one of these waiting cars, park in a spot a little further down the row, and end up walking past the still waiting car on my way into the store. If they’d have just done what I did, they’d already be in the store.
But no, they are still there waiting, waiting, gumming up the travel lane, waiting, waiting.
Hell, for all I know, they’re *still * there, waiting.
It’s amazing the lengths some people will go to to avoid walking an extra 30 yards or so.
Especially since people will intentionally move more slowly when they know someone is waiting for the space. I actually once saw a woman just sit motionless in her car for a while rather than surrender the space to the car waiting in the aisle.
Last Christmas, I had the somewhat amusing experience of being trapped because two cars were competing for the space I was going to vacate. Neither would budge and give up their claim to it. One of them finally did, or I’d probably still be sitting there.
Yup, I can’t stand that behavior either. I’ve seen (and been in) 10+ car backups because some narcissist both:
A) sits there for at 5 minutes waiting for the car to pull out.
B) fails to leave room in the lane for anyone to get around them.
If you do the former, you must also avoid doing the latter. Either that, or give up your wait when you see traffic piling up behind you.
I confess to having been guilty of doing this a few times recently. Why? Because I have one of those trusty blue cards (which I do not leave hanging all the time, since it blocks my vision; I only put it up when I’ve actually pulled into the parking space), I’and sometimes there are no handicapped spots available but I’m having a bad day and can only walk a very limited distance, so the only way to be able to survive my shopping trip is to park as close as I can. So yes, I will wait, and no, you won’t see my blue card. Guess what? You can’t always tell who really needs that spot and who’s just being an asshole.
I will wait only when the parking lot is completely full and following someone to his/her car is the only chance of snagging a parking space. And, yes, there have been times when there are NO parking spaces available.
Of course, with the advent of the internet, I rarely have to venture forth into the world of brick-and-mortar retail. For this I am eternally grateful.
You’re right, but I’m pretty sure you’re in the minority. Most people are just assholes.
I agree completely. I drove by one last night where there was barely enough room. Actually, I guess there wasn’t enough room because my mirror brushed against his. I admit I shouldn’t have tried it knowing there wasn’t much room, but he shouldn’t have been sitting there so long either. I parked in a spot just in front of the one he was waiting for. He stopped in the aisle behind me asking for my insurance and saying he was going to let the cops sort it out. As irritated as I was that his rudeness caused the situation in the first place, I stayed cool since it was legally my fault. I looked at his mirror and there wasn’t a bit of damage to it. I was walking back to my truck to get my insurance when he changed his mind and decided to let it go. The thing that really upset me was that he seemed angry simply because I tried to pass him. Yeah I tried to pass you, jackass. I’ll be a little more careful next time and you should be a little more considerate and we’ll both come out better.
I’d say 90% of the time this is very annoying. However, during the holiday season you have to do this anywhere somebody is leaving just to get any parking spot at some of these places. It’s just insane during the holidays
I just don’t get why people have a compelling need to park crammed up so close to the door. Obviously, there are exceptions, such as the afore-mentioned blue card. However, the majority of car-parkers seem to have a weird compulsion to park as close to the door as possible, to the point that they’ll drive 5 or 10 minutes until the perfect spot presents itself.
This is especially confusing to me in large parking lots where there’s a fire lane between the door and the first parking stalls. It’s going to take you 10-20 seconds to walk across that gap, why not find a more sane parking spot, one which you don’t need to wait for and which may give you more room to wiggle in? It’ll only cost you an extra 10-20 seconds worth of walking time.
Note that I’m not ranting about said people, just confused by their decision-making logic. 
…Though when I’m a passenger with a driver who insists on hunting for their perfect spot, I feel like smashing puppies with a cinder block. Just park and get out, dammit!
When I’m driving, I look for the aisle nearest the door, and park in the 2nd or 3rd empty spot in that aisle, which is usually in the last half of the aisle. It makes maneuvering the shopping cart soooo much easier, especially with the kids and the baby seat. And if someone beats me to it, I’ll take the next empty one. I normally don’t need to spend 5-10 minutes cruising the parking lot looking for the perfect spot; at most two passes down an aisle gets me there. 99% of the time I don’t even need to hunt; the spot is plainly visible from anywhere in the parking lot.
I contend that, by not hunting for the perfect spot and taking the first available spot, I’m actively trying to be a more responsible shopper. Less time cruising the parking lot means less time in which I can accidentally crush grandma under my front wheel.
Is it a simple matter of choosing the lesser of the two evils? I hate shopping. I hate cruising through parking lots even more.
snailboy, your location is the great flatlands of East Texas, where y’all have big assed parking lots for miles. (I’m from Austin and even there we have quite a bit of space.) Here in the Northeast, though, lots are small and you pretty much have no choice. You park where there’s space, whether it be next to the entrance or a mile back.
The real assholes are the shit-for-brained fuckstains who take all fucking day to back the fuck out of the spot. Here’s how it works: Load your shit in the car. Buckle li’l Johnny into the carseat. Sit your ass down in the driver’s seat. Now back the fuck out and fiddle with your McRib, or iPod, or radio, or cell phone when you’re in the traffic jam on the way out. Trust me, you’ll have time. Better yet, have your shit preset and ready to go when you get in car, or don’t fucking worry about it.
My biggest pet peeve about living in New England, no doubt about it. Some fuckers get some perverse pleasure out of making others wait on their dumb asses. We’re all in a fucking hurry, don’cha know!
I do sympathize and have patience for people with kids who need to be put in carseats and old people. I’m talking about the jackass in a fur coat who decides it’s time to inspect the car from all angles at 4 pm at a meter in Harvard Square.
If, as you say, you’re not lazy, and you’re not in a hurry, then what has it gained you?
There was a 15-cart pileup INSIDE Target yesterday - a woman using one of the store’s scooters couldn’t figure out how to make it go and got herself turned all cattywumpus in the middle of the aisle in the toy dept (where shoppers are generally NOT at their best to begin with). She blocked everyone from all four directions.
It got a little ugly.
I pity people who wait for MY space - I’ve got two little 'uns, who might, on any given day and completely without warning, decide to pitch an absolute fit when it’s time to buckle up. Wrestling them to the chair sometimes takes a couple of minutes.
In every day life this isn’t necessary, just park a little ways down the row. I have to confess I have done this during Xmas season though. Sometimes there is no parking until someone comes out. I will wait a little for someone to get their stuff in the car and leave. If someone is waiting for me I will try to move as quick as I can. What I will not do is hang behind someone who is walking out to their car and follow them like a vulture circling a corpse. I purposely walk down a parallel row and then cut across to my car when I get to it so I don’t reward this kind of behavior.
Having been to the great plains and the desert, I wouldn’t call this the great flatlands. You must be right about the parking lots though. Except for really small ones, I’ve never seen parking lots completely filled. I don’t know if it’s the terrain, the fact that I live in a small city, or simply that I go shopping at the right times. At the busiest times, the Walmart parking lot might be half-filled. Nobody around here can make the excuse that there are no parking spaces available.
I have an aunt who, no kidding, will pray for a better parking space. I never did find out who is the patron saint of parking places.
One of my favorite nearby malls has a a couple tiny little parking lots in front of the “anchor stores” and a five-story parking garage. It’s actually kind of amusing to watch the cars endlessly circling those lots, since the garage is probably less than 100 feet from where they circle and has never been completely full, even during the busiest seasons.
That’s God’s primary purpose for existence - supplying parking spaces. Not a lot of people know that.