It doesn’t suprise me that people exercise this type of petty control.
It surprises me that someone can be so matter-of-fact about it, admit to it, and find a way to justify it.
It surprises me that people with the intelligence to put together enough thoughts to post on a message board do it.
The OP is NOT complaining about people who deliberately make him wait. He is quite clearly implying that a person returning to a parked car MUST depart immediately so that he is not inconvenienced. This, as I said, is not required either by the laws of the land or the laws of ettiquite.
I live in California. Parking vultures (though I think I might like “parking lot shark” even better) are part of life here. I don’t mind them- I like them, because they make it less likely that someone will come zooming along the aisle while I’m backing out.
That said, I don’t always go right after I get into the car, either. Here are some of the things I might be doing:
Checking a map, or discussing where I’m going next with someone else in the car
Waiting for someone (this happened yesterday- I sat in the car while Mr. Neville returned a shopping cart)
Adjusting the seat or mirrors if someone else has been driving the car
Adjusting the temperature or trying to de-fog the windows
Some people might also not be used to parking vultures, and are waiting for the car they see behind them to move along.
I don’t take longer when someone’s waiting- if I see someone waiting, I try to take less time than I normally would. The exception is when they’re pulled up really close and making it more difficult to get out. I don’t mean to do it in that case, either, but it just takes longer.
I think it rude to wait for someone to pull out - unless they have started their car and the backup lights are on. Its particularly rude to follow someone to their car. As has been said, there is no guarentee they are leaving then, or leaving immediately. I’ve been known to get into my car and log notes, make phone calls, switch cds - spend five minutes doing stuff before I start my car - if no one is waiting.
I have noticed that anytime anyone is waiting for my parking spot, I’ll have problems. Really pissed off one women when the stroller wouldn’t fold. Then my daughter decided she didn’t want to be belted into her car seat. Ten minutes later we were on our way, she waited the whole ten minutes, yelling obscenties out the car window. Gee, that was helpful in getting my daughter calmed down enough for the car seat. At that point it time, I seriously considered going back into the mall, but figured she’d key the car. Without kids, I find I’ve left my keys somewhere. Drop my keys underneath the seat. Have the wheel in the damn lock position.
I have no problems parking quite a bit away from the store; I hate playing “park shark” and see it as a total waste of time. I see other people doing it and by the time I’m parked (quite a bit further away than the spots they’re looking for) and walking into the store, they’re still out there trying to shark the best spot.
The only time I’ll pause for a parking spot is if the driver’s reverse lights are on. Very few people throw their car in reverse unless they have immediate plans to back up, so chances are excellent they are leaving within seconds. I don’t see it as rude to wait five/ten seconds for them to back up and leave. (And if they don’t do it within that time frame, I move on. No big deal.)
However, that is ONLY IF THEIR REVERSE LIGHTS ARE ON. If they’re not, I think it’s stupid to sit there and get all pissed off that they haven’t noticed me and hurried out of their spot. What if they’re on the phone? Finding a CD? Yelling at their kid? Looking at a map? Checking the receipts of whatever they bought?
Why is it my right to try to hurry them out of their spot and get them on the road?
I work downtown, which means I have to park in a multi-level parking garage; I do not like being followed by people driving into the garage, and I think it’s absurd that they will back-up all the other traffic coming into the garage just on the hope that I have a good spot. There are billions of parking spaces in that garage; there are also elevators to ensure that you never have to walk very far.
So WHY ARE THEY STOPPING TRAFFIC TO FOLLOW ME? It drives me nuts. I have a detachable-face CD player in my car, which I have to re-attach every time I leave, (lots of break-ins happen in the garage) and then I like to find a station or CD I like, light a cigarette, put my purse where it won’t fall over while I’m driving, and check my phone. These are all things I try to avoid doing while I’m actually driving, for safety reasons, so I’ll do them before I start driving. My lights are not on, most especially my reverse lights, so it’s not like I’m “teasing” anyone who’s waiting for me. I can do these things quickly, but I’m not going to skip them just for the convenience of some guy who thinks, in spite of all logic, that I have the only parking space left in the entire five-story parking garage.
He might be thinking I’m just purposely wasting his time, and get all pissy about it, but I’m not; as soon as I’m ready, I leave, regardless of whether or not anybody is waiting on me.
Why is this so hard to understand?
I think this is what annoys me the most. 4 days of the week, I’m on campus from 8 am until about 10 pm. I keep my books, my assignments, my coat, my lunch, and whatever else I need in my car. Maybe I get bitter and petty because ever time I go to my car for any reason, people slow down and follow on my heels, wasting their time and freaking me out. If they circled the lot (this lot is VERY small. You can circle it in less than 30 seconds) they would see I’m not leaving, and thus, can go stalk somebody else.
In reading this thread I find myself agreeing with the good Brother here.
I can only think of maybe two or three times when I intentionally dawdled when someone was stalking. Or, actually, I just didn’t leave. When someone is “stalking” me and they honk at me impatiently to get a move on, then I got pissed. It’s the honking that does it. The one I most particularly remembered was when my sister (who has a fake leg and walks with a cane) and I were getting into my car. Some bitch who is stalking us honks at us to hurry up. I guess sister was taking too long to get in the car, what with the cane and all. Well, that pissed me off. I admit it. So, we didn’t leave (went do do something else) and honking bitch took off.
Okay, other than those times, I can’t say that I’ve dawdled. I do agree, however, that someone breathing down my neck as I approach my car makes me uneasy. I think it’s the amount of space they give me to pull out that worries me. I don’t like someone hovering too close. If, however, they wait behind at a comfortable distance and they don’t have a tail of cars waiting behind them, all is well and I really give it much thought as I pull out. But at no time do I feel morally obliged to rush for them. Particularly when there are plenty of spaces elsewhere.
I also will note here that I don’t usually stalk cars in parking lots (except when there are no spaces available). As others have already mentioned, it so often backs everyone up and is damned inconvenient. I hate it. I hate seeing that tail of cars behind me. I just don’t like to do it. So I guess I find it a practice that is less than mandatory. (With the exception of the full lot, of course.) I don’t dawdle when someone’s waiting for me, but yes, I sometimes paw through my shopping bags, take a swig of water, whatever—and I’m not going to not do that just because some bozo is hovering, waiting for my space. I owe him or her absolutely nothing—they have plenty of spaces to choose from and they can park there at any time.
Another thought (I haven’t really thought about this too deeply before this thread). While I almost never dawdle, I think I resent being put in the position of holding a whole long line of cars, even though it’s not me doing it. When some jackass is in a half-full lot and he (or she) decides to “stalk” me (and hold up the cars behind him), I resent that now there are all these people essentially waiting on me. Hey, I was really getting hungry, so I was looking forward eating that snack in the car before going on the road, or thumbing quickly through that book I just bought—I was planning on doing that before I knew someone was going to hover for my parking space. So should I still take the time to eat the snack and look at the book, even though there’s this asshole hovering (and making people wait behind him)? I don’t know. It’s not a good position to be put in. It stinks.
I love to make people wait for a parking space if they are being jerks.
Sometimes they will follow me down the aisle, wait for me to load up my trunk and start the car, and they are sitting there directly in my way, while two spots ahead is another several empty spots. They are putting me out to save a few steps, after which they will spend an hour on their feet walking miles inside the mall. Tough cookies, kiddos, I’m not pulling out until you leave. Learn your lesson and don’t try to push others around.
If I’m going back to the car but not leaving the parking spot (waiting for other family members, perhaps) and a car has slowed down in anticipation of taking that space, then I’ll signal to the driver that I’m not leaving. That invariably does the trick, even if I need to repeat the gesture as I get into the car. You can’t blame the driver for wanting to check before s/he moves on.
I have been guilty of this. But that’s because the driver has the right of way, so I wait for them to pass, so I can pull out. I certainly don’t want to get in an accident becasue they don’t stop for me.
When i realize they’re waiting for my spot, then I just have to hope they left me enough room to pull out.
You know what really pisses me off? Like others have described, I don’t play this game, and figure that I can walk from a further spot faster than waiting on a stranger. Then it gets to be Xmas time, and the lot at the mall is actually FULL, and I have to crawl around looking for someone who will move their car, and I hate it.