Mid-west. Almost everyone holds the door open for others. I work on a college campus and students holding the door is the rule not the exception. At the mall, the door is routinely held for those with packages or kids of whatever sex. The surprise is when one of the few doesn’t hold the door, then slam :smack: [cranky old person]What? Were you born in a barn?[/crank…]
People hold doors in Arkansas, particularly for women.
Cambridge/Boston. People hold doors for me most of the time. And I’m not above average pretty or anything. Sometimes when there are a whole bunch of doors in a row (going into a building or something) it turns into this whole bizarre door-holding/thanking dance and I just wish they’d let it swing.
Central California, and doors are usually held open for me. I hold doors for everyone.
I’m in LA, and I usually get doors held open for me. Not always, but the times I don’t are relatively few. I always hold doors for others.
At work, we have fairly tight security, and last year we were issued instructions to not hold doors open for anyone. They made no exceptions for co-workers, so I guess we’re supposed to let doors slam in each other’s faces. To their credit, most people hold them anyway.
I’m from the South but I reside in the Boston area now. I don’t go into the city much but people almost always hold doors open for me often with a big smile and a hello. Sometimes people hold them open when I am clearly too far away but they wait. I believe it was the same way when I lived in Boston itself. I obviously hold them open for others as well.
Yes, people hold doors open for me. Many times, men will rush just a little to get to the door before I, and hold the door open. I will adjust my skirt, put my keys in my purse, whatever I need to do to allow a man that few extra seconds to get to the door first, though rather than having him have to rush. I was taught to do that. Let the man think that it is his idea to be chivalrous – but ya know what? In the South, you will find that a lot of men take pride in having been taught to be gentlemen.
Do I find it rude if they don’t hold the door and let me enter first? Yes – if it is a healthy man. If it is a very old man, or a woman (any age or condition), or the man has any kind of physical ailment (crutches, oxygen tank, whatever), then no – I will usually hold the door for them.
Maybe it’s a Southern thing – or just that I am old-fashioned, but I like chivalry. I love it when a man opens doors for me, holds my chair, orders for me or just acts like a man. It’s just the way that I am. By the same token, I abhor fem-nazis. I mean, women’s lib doesn’t have to mean being a cunt just because a man is nice enough to hold a door open for you…I had a friend in high school who took it upon herself to lecture her date when he was gentleman enough to hold the car door open for her. He left her standing on the sidewalk with this little tip “how can you expect me to take you out, pay for your dinner, your movie and your popcorn and get angry with me for going the extra mile of being a gentleman and opening doors?”
Of course, I would never be rude to another person if they chose to not be polite and hold the door for me, but it does irk me. Funny thing, my son will rush forward to get the door and will hold it not only for me, but any other women (or old or infirm people) that are nearby. He gets compliments if I am there with him, but I have noticed that when we drop him off at school, he will hold the door open for all the little girls – not because they even notice, but because that is what he is supposed to do. It makes me very proud. Integrity is doing the right thing with no expectation of reward – my kid is awesome!
ETA – many people lately have tried to reason that men hold doors open for me because I am skinny and cute and a flirt, but the truth is, even when I was 300+lbs men held doors for me. It is all about the smile and the “thank you, sir.” At least, that works for me. And, yes, I always look him in the eye, smile and say “thank you, sir.” It is how I was brought up.
I’ll hold the door for pretty much anyone behind me. I won’t stand and wait for too, too long but I’m used to holding doors. Most other folks do too but it doesn’t bother me much if they don’t.
My son has to be pried away from the door or he’ll stand there all day, holding it for everyone.
I had a weird thing happen the other day: I was carrying a bunch of equipment back to the visual arts building where I work (I’m a glamorous student assistant) and I very clearly had no hands available for the door. In fact, I was in quite a bit of pain due to the various light stands and tripods and extension cords pinching various skin on my hands and arms here and there. Normally when my hands are full, I just go up to the door and hip-check the big handicap-logo button that activates the electronic opener. But this time there was some braindead girl on a cell phone, standing RIGHT in front of the handicap button. I walk up, she sees me. Makes no move to get out of my way, nor reach over and open the door, nor push the button herself. I had to say “I need that…” and nod toward the button she was blocking before she’d move her useless carcass out of the way.
People around here generally hold doors for one another. I hold doors for others as a matter of course, although the method might vary slightly. Able-bodied person of my own age or younger? Courtesy arm-extended-back hold, so the door doesn’t slam in his/her face. Person Of A Certain Age, or someone having some sort of difficulty? Full-fledged doorman job with a flourish.
I don’t get mad if someone lets the door slam in my face, but I am pretty surprised. If I had a kid and s/he did that, they’d definitely hear about it. Nobody should be in such a hurry they can’t be minimally polite. (Well, almost nobody. If you’re transporting a bleeding loved one to the ER, you’re welcome to be a jerk if you like.)
I’m in Boston, I always hold the door for anyone behind me, and someone **not ** holding a door for me is rare enough that I notice.
My big complaint is revolving doors. Boys, I promise that I’m not impressed by your awesome masculine strength when you spin that thing like a top. I’m just annoyed that now my heel is caught in it.
Here in the central valley of California, most people don’t hold the door open for me. I myself adhere to the 3 second rule. If they are less than 3 seconds behind me, I hold it open. If they are more than 3 seconds, I let it shut.
Yes and yes. Northern CA, not the big city. People here routinely hold doors for others, not regarding all the gender stuff.
It really depends. When I am at work, or any place that is nicer, always. Of course, work is full of customers who are here for a week at a time, so I usually get to return the favor. On campus, no. I think it is a lot of just the rush of getting to classes (as I usually oversleep and know what that means) - but I would say once in every fifty doors. I do, at the end of class, hold the door until whoever I’m leaving with is ready to go, then we leave, so I know that it happens.
I’m in Southern Ohio…
Brendon Small
Yes, Seattle. We are a polite bunch here.
Off to IMHO.
This is an interesting subject IMO.
There tend to be two main groups who emerge. Those who open doors for other people, and those who open doors for women and the infirm.
Where it gets interesting is when a women who is used to, and offended by, the second type of behaviour clashes with a man operating in accordance with the first type of behaviour.
I’m someone who holds a door open for anyone else close enough behind me regardless of whether they are a child, a woman, or Superman. I have never had a bad reaction from a woman, but I gather from previous SDMB threads that it can happen.
I too hold the door for anyone,any sex,any age.When percipient I wait for people like OpalCat,loaded down and handsful.
The phenom noted first by Der Trihs and later Litoris of women upbraiding on a sexist basis has been experienced personally though more typically in metropolitan areas.
Originally from the south & now in NJ. I’ve had doors held open plenty of times in both locales.
VCNJ~
Yes, in the South- guys hold them for guys, girls hold them guys, etc.