A friend recently moved to my area (Philadelphia/South Jersey) from Boston, and one of the differences between areas that he noted is that everyone here holds doors open for one another.
I never thought of this as a cultural thing, as we’re supposedly a rude population, so I’m sort of wondering if he’s crazy or not.
Where you live is it expected that, if someone enters a building a few seconds before you, they will wait to hold the door open for you? Do you consider it (very very mildly) rude if they do not?
Around here it depends on the weather. Most of the year, yes, people hold doors, especially for mothers carrying/pushing kids, older people, younger people, people in wheelchairs… The only time it’s frowned upon is during the winter, when a frigid Chicago wind can rip through a lobby in 0.6 seconds, and you open and close the door as quickly as possible. Although I’ve still had lots of people notice me coming and wait on the other side of the door to open it and hold it for me when I get there.
Yes. I am a young, healthy woman (but not attractive) living in the Midwest and men hold doors open for me all the time. I hold doors open for most people as well.
On campus people seem to be pretty good about holding doors open for one another. The running joke is that the doors at our school are so ornate that it takes people forever to figure out which end is which, and then another eternity to figure out whether to push or pull. That may be why people are usually willing to wait a few seconds for the person behind them.
Yes. Polite people always glance over their shoulder and hold a door when entering a building. I always do it, and am mildly offended if people don’t do it for me.
Of course I also let people merge in traffic, have the last piece of cake, pie, pizza, etc.
And tonnes of other mannered gestures to do my part to help with this thing we call civilization.
I hold the door open for others, but it seems less usual than it used to be. Most kids on campus just saunter from one building to the next perpetually glued to their cellphone. Usually they just pass through and to hell with anyone behind them. It used to bother me mildly but I gave up on being upset with it. Through various circumstances I have come to realize that I had a pretty Old School upbringing that’s sometimes dissonant with my peers. Or maybe they’re just ill-mannered and poorly bred. That could be it, too.
When someone does hold the door open (usually older men) for me though I make sure to thank them.
I can’t recall anyone holding a door for me, ever, save for close relatives. I hold the door open for people if they are close behind me or obviously hampered; a parent carrying a kid, guy in a wheelchar, etc. I make a point of NOT holding the door open for non-elderly women, unless they fall into the seriously hampered category, and sometimes not then; I don’t want to get yelled at.
That’s odd. I go to Boston fairly regularly and I’ve never had anyone not hold the door open for me when it would otherwise seem appropriate. Likewise I’ve never failed to hold it for others, either.
The vast majority of people hold the door open when they “should” as far as I can tell. Some of my co-workers don’t, but they’re in the minority.
So far it looks like in CA the answer is no, not really; everywhere else: yes/usually.
I need someone from the Boston-ish area to weigh in on this.
I’m a young, reasonably attractive, healthy girl, and it’s not just men that hold doors for me (as seems to be a mini-trend in this thread). I get doors held by older men, younger men, older women, younger women, people my age, even children.
I HAVE noticed, however, that when I’m dressed somewhat, well, provocatively, men will go as far as to walk into a ways into a building, notice me, then turn around and walk toward the door to hold it open.
I hold the door for everyone.
There should be a word for that uncomfortable period where someone is close ahead of you, but not that close, and you feel obligated to hurry toward the door while they wait holding it open. Or the other way around, although I don’t mind holding as much.
Upon preview, it looks like my Boston friend is crazy.
I’m not from Boston, but central MA isn’t that far from it. Most people seem to hold doors. I do however work in a psychiatric hospital where 90% of the doors are locked, so if someone didn’t hold it, I would think them incredibly rude. There is a cleaning guy there who holds the door for me ALL the time, and every time he does he points out to me that he’s being a gentleman saying, “There are still a few of us left.”
I spent my first 21 years in California and had a hard time adjusting to Kentucky. Here people most always hold the door open. I wasn’t used to that and found it awkward at first. Now I find many doors shut in my face when I am visit California because I now expect people will hold them.
And it is really hard for my to imagine now, but when in California and I was pushing my father in his wheelchair, I often had to ask someone to open the door if it was a pull out door. Here that would never be an issue. If anyone had noticed us anywhere near a door, they would stand and wait for us to approach so they could hold it open. Even if someone wasn’t going in, just walking by when we were approaching a door they would ask if we were going in and then open for us. In California no one really gave us enough thought to realize we would need help. When I did ask, they were always fine to do it. But if I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t get in.
When I visit California now out of habit I always hold the door open for someone else. I do notice some strange looks, and I am often not thanked, but I can’t imagine not doing it now. I have never had anyone get angry over it though; that I can’t imagine.
