Do people ogle you/chat you up?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Inspired by this thread. As a general rule, do you believe other people ogle you thinking you are attractive, or not? Do members of your preferred gender approach you, or do you always have to make the first move?

I guess a lot of it comes down to self image, because there’s probably someone out there to ogle just about anybody. But I’m a hetero male and I’ll check out just about any reasonably fit woman between 15-55. Yet I have never once in my 46 years had the impression that any person I was not in a relationship with was checking me out.

And I’m not sure I can remember any woman approaching me to chat me up or ask me out.

Always struck me as tho it would be an incredible source of - um - power, having people admire and approach you, and being in the position of picking and choosing. And I never quite accepted the contention that it is a huge imposition having to discourage constant suitors - heck, I remember women having no problem brushing me off without much effort.

So which are you - invisible, or the general object of attention and desire?

2

I’m not going to answer your question at the moment but I’ll tell you this. I, as a girl, can check you out way more subtly than you could ever check me out. You’d never even know. Guys make it so obvious.
And I know I’m not alone in this. So chances are, you’ve been checked out plenty and just don’t know it. :slight_smile:

3

I’d say generally invisible. There have been isolated occasions when guys have hit on me (for example, when I looked too drunk to dance at a bar - nice, guys!) but it doesn’t happen regularly.

I find it sort of odd, actually. Not because I think I’m so attractive, but I think a lot of girls in my age range (say, 18-27) get ogled no matter what they look like. I’ve seen first-hand what kind of attention my really gorgeous friends get, but I guess I don’t look like the kind of girl you want to ogle, for whatever reason - maybe it’s because I look like a bitch?

4

Reminds me of the Seinfeld ep, where George gets caught staring at the TV exec’s teen daughter, and Jerry keeps chastising him, “You’re just supposed to glance.”

Intellectually, I figure some woman (or gay guy) is hard up enough to momentarily consider me not repulsive. :wink: I’m resonably tall, reasonably fit, and my facial features are not troll-like. That’s why I put in the bit about self-image. (Tho I gotta acknowledge that as the decades add up, one becomes entirely invisible to increasingly large portions of the population younger than oneself.)

5

That’s a really good point. I don’t think guys approach me much either, just to shoot the shit at parties and such. I probably carry myself and wear an expression that doesn’t attract folks.

6

Then let us know. Maybe men would stop seeing women as ice elementals to be thawed and conquered.

7

no. :frowning:

8

Just old dudes at work. We have a number of clients who seem to think that I am there solely for their entertainment. Like the one who had to be at least sixty and said, “I like a girl with short hair; you can get to her neck real easy.”

Unfortunately, I do not fit in my file drawer, so I could not hide.

So you’re saying that if I look you up and down and lick my lips, that’s cool?

9

Oh good, a chance to fight some ignorance today.

Yes.

10

Dinsdale, I would like to reply to your query but cannot at the moment, as I am being mobbed by women.

11

If I scream YES loud enough that you’ll hear me from 4600 miles away, will you believe me?

12

I’m sure as soon as I hit submit I’ll realize why this is a stupid comparison, but is there a guy out there who would be offended by a woman wolf whistling at him or even telling him his __ looks good?

13

I don’t know if people check me out, but I inevitably get asked out or hit on if I am a regular at a place. Just recently I went to the dentist to find out about a tooth pain, and when I got home from the doctors and the pharmacy (it was an abscess), I had an email from somebody that worked in the dentist office. It basically said that she thought I seemed interesting (read: good looking cause I didn’t actually TALK to this person) and was wondering if I was seeing somebody. When I told her I was engaged (I am), she said “well, let me know if anything changes”

This has happened many times in my 30 years, just about anywhere I regularly hang out, be it Wendy’s or the library.

*FWIW, I don’t find myself to be spectacular, perhaps a bit above average at most.

14

Depends, really. I’m sure there is a way to do that so it would be offensive or demeaning. Women are welcome to try and find such a way.

If it were, say, my boss or a customer (not that I have visual contact with customers, but you know) or something like that, I’d probably mind. Depending on how she did it.

15

Let me break this to you Einstein, unless they were blind, in order for B to occur, A must have preceded it.

Nothing like that ever happened to me, so you must be doing something right - or at least using a different dentist/pharmacy than I.

16

No. It happens maybe every other week or so when I’m running. Of course, I’m running with my 67 year old dad, so I really can’t be sure which one they’re yelling at. :smiley:

17

No, but people ask me for directions all the time, does that count?

I don’t look date-able or ogle-able, but I look like I know where I’m going, dammit!

18

You’re going to have to, at least until I get there.

I’ll make a note of it. And stock up on lip balm, since I think I’m going to need it.

19

I’ve been chatted up/scoped out a few times recently, and it kind of freaked me out.

One example was at the Hinsdale station off of I-294 in Chicago. I stopped with a colleague to refill our rental car. A woman from the truck next to us got very flirty with me while putting away some trash. Good eye contact, held a bit longer than normal, flashed a huge smile. At that point I wasn’t sure if it was flirting or just being friendly. After I filled the car, as we pulled out, she was walking back from the convenience store. I politely waited while she walked in front of our car. She gave the big smile again then walked along, never breaking eye contact for a good ten yards, then turning to do a second look. It was good for the ego, especially as I am not a movie star looks kind of guy, probably average at best.

Another time, a few years back, I had my kids with me at the Krogers, and a couple of women said something along the lines of “Ain’t you fine lookin’!” I actually looked behind me to see who they were talking to, and then they said “Hey, just because you’ve got your kids with you doesn’t mean we can’t tell you you’re hot”. I’m sure they enjoyed the lovely shade of crimson I must have gone.

Interestingly, the women in both of these cases were black women in their 30s or so.

Also, recently, I got into a conversation with a college student who sat next to me on a flight. She was about 25 years old, and coming down to Tampa for the weekend. We had a great chat that made the flight go by very quickly. As we waited for our luggage at the baggage carousel, I could tell she was kind of wondering if I’d ask her out. When her friends came to collect her up, she made a point of telling them in front of me what a great time she’d had on the flight, and sort of introduced me to them.

I don’t see it, but a lot of people think I’m younger than I really am. Maybe I’m just immature.

There have also been a couple of “I’m not sure whether that’s a flirt or not” moments, like when the hot looking mom of another kid from my son’s baseball team stuck her hands down her shirt and adjusted her ample bosom. She and I were discussing a restaurant we both like and she indicated we should go together some time. That’s probably just friendly stuff with a little flirtation.

20

Yep. Average-looking, but I’m an extroverted listener (willing to converse with any stranger, but I listen and nod more than I run the conversation). I smile at everyone, male, female, kids, older- make lots of eye contact. In a crowd, I’m one of the first people approached, but I am certain that it is due to some ‘vibe’ I give off rather than being particularly attractive. I get greeted with “Sup, Trouble…” and “What are you grinning about, hmmm?” way more often than “Nice weather we’re having.” I also get “You have a great smile” quite often, but I know that is a line, cause I’ve got a wicked overbite.

I like interacting with strangers, so I’ve no complaints. Okay, one complaint. Sometimes husbands or boyfriends will step behind their wives in the aisle and shoot me a dirty grin over her head. That burns me a little. But other than that, I meet the most interesting people outside of my home and work sphere.

I’m getting older rapidly, so my days of interacting with strangers are numbered. I’ll miss it.