Do people willfully screw up your name? They do mine!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I have this friend…let’s, for argument’s sake, call him Antonio. Despite the fact that it’s what he always calls himself, always signs every e-mail with, no one seems to get it right. It’s always “Anthony,” or “Tony,” or even “Antoine,” should he be in the company of Francophones.

He doesn’t look remotely like any sort of stereotypical “Italian” look might be. In reality he’s about as Italian as the Olive Garden. But that’s besides the point. That’s what his parents named him and that’s what he calls himself. And yet no one seems to ever get it right.

I’ve never heard anyone say “Anthony Cromartie,” or “Anthony Banderas,” or “Santhony Holmes,” but [del]I get it[/del] my friend who is not me always gets it! And [del]I’ve been[/del] he’s been correcting people since he was old enough to talk.

Does anyone else here get their names constantly butchered, possibly because they are too exotic for blander-than-ricecakes WASP society? Moreover, are you as buttsore about it as [del]I am[/del] my friend is?

2

I’ve never known anyone to willfully screw up my name. However, most people who aren’t familiar with Latin-based names can’t seem to pronounce Bodoni, and most people can’t seem to decipher my real first name.

Antonio is a rather long name, though, with four syllables. In the US, most people’s first names or nicknames only contain one or two syllables, possibly three, though three is rare. That might be the root of your problem.

3

Just don’t turn into Elizabeth Becton.

Becton, for those who haven’t heard this story, was an assistant to Congressman Jim McDermott. A lobbyist was setting up a meeting with McDermott through Becton and this led to the following exchange of emails:

Elizabeth,

Attached is a meeting request for JP Morgan Chase who will be in DC June 3rd-4th and would like to request a brief meeting with the Congressman.

Let me know if you need any additional information.

Thank you!

Best,
XXX

From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:05 PM
To: Becton, Elizabeth
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Liz,

just checking in on whether the Congressman is available next week. [REDACTED] can confirm a meeting time for you - she is available at [REDACTED].

Thank you!

Best,
XXX

From: Becton, Elizabeth
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:07 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Importance: High

Who is Liz?

Elizabeth Becton
Executive Assistant/Office Manager
Office of Congressman Jim McDermott
XXXX Longworth House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515
XXX phone
XXX fax

From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:07 PM
To: Becton, Elizabeth
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth, I thought you went by Liz - apologies if that is incorrect. Best, XXX

From: Becton, Elizabeth
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:08 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

I do not go by Liz. Where did you get your information?

Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:10 PM
To: Becton, Elizabeth
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth, I’m so sorry if I offended you! I thought you had gone by Liz at Potlatch, this was my mistake. Best, XXX

From: Becton, Elizabeth
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:11 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

NEVER. I hate that name.

From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:13 PM
To: Becton, Elizabeth
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth, I’m so sorry if I offended you! I must have mis-heard. My mistake! Best, XX

From: Becton, Elizabeth
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:20 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Importance: High

XXX:

If I wanted you to call me by any other name, I would have offered that to you. I think it’s rude when people don’t even ask permission and take all sorts of liberties with your name. This is a real sore spot with me. My name has a lot of “nicknames” which I don’t use. I use either my first name or my last name because I row with a lot of other women who share the same first name. Now, please do not ever call me by a nickname again.

As for your meeting request, who is the point of contact for this meeting? If it’s not you, then I need to know who because it’s very time-consuming to deal with a lot of people for one meeting.

Thanks,

From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:23 PM
To: Becton, Elizabeth
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth, I’m so sorry I offended you! My mistake!

XXX can confirm a meeting time for you - she is available at XXX XXXX.

Thank you!

Best, XXX

From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:33 PM
To: Becton, Elizabeth
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Of course! Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I must have mis-heard and it was in no way my intention to make you upset. I always enjoy working with you and seeing you at the WSS events J

Best,
XXX

From: Becton, Elizabeth
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:37 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Sounds like you got played by someone who KNOWS I hate that name and that it’s a fast way to TICK me off. Who told you that I go by that name? They are not your friend…

From: XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:38 PM
To: Becton, Elizabeth
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth,

Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I don’t want to cause trouble as I clearly must have mis-heard the person at Potlatch. It was in no way my intention to make you upset.

Best,
XXX

From: Becton, Elizabeth
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:41 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request
Importance: High

I REALLY want to know who told you to call me that.

From:XXX
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 5:44 PM
To: Becton, Elizabeth
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Hi Elizabeth,
Again, I am sincerely sorry for offending you. I don’t recall who I overheard. It was in no way my intention to make you upset.
Best,
XXX

From: Becton, Elizabeth
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 6:04 PM
To: XXX
Subject: RE: JPMC Meeting Request

Let me put it this way, they don’t know me and perhaps they were PRETENDING to know me better than they do and pretended that I go by Liz. They did YOU a disservice.

In the future, you should be VERY careful about such things. People like to brag about their connections in DC. It’s a past time for some. It’s also dangerous to eaves drop, as you have just found out.

Quit apologizing and never call me anything but Elizabeth again. Also, make sure you correct anyone who attempts to call me by any other name but Elizabeth. Are we clear on this? Like I said, it’s a hot button for me.

And please don’t call the office and not leave a message. My colleague told me you called while I was away at the Ladies’ room. I do sometimes leave my desk.

4

I don’t think people are willfully screwing up my name, but Tracey can be spelled with an e and without it - I spell it with the e. If you spell it without the e, that is not my name. It is a different version of my name. When people do that on official documents (like my marriage certificate), I have to ask them to go back and fix it and it’s a pain in the ass.

I do get irritated when people do this in emails, when the correct spelling of my name is one inch below where they’re typing, or when they’re family members that have known me for a decade - open your eyes and look, people!

ETA: Is that for real, Little Nemo? That Lizzie is one crazy bitch!

5

Hi, Animitronio :wink:

(D&R…)

6

Possibly…but like I said there’s at least a few actors and pro athletes named Antonio. People in my inner circle are head over heels sensitive when it comes to getting chinese and arabic names right from new immigrants we work with, or when one of our co-workers got a new first name (female to male transgendered). I just feel like I’m too plain for anyone to care, lol…

7

They do; you know the bastards will explore tiniest crack to come up with some inane way to screw up your name.

And if your name happens to encourage them enough to go there, they will unless they know you are a real giant person or a martial art master. There are some very cruel parents.

8

And wow. I only correct people in person. I figure, it’s UNDERNEATH every single e-mail I send you. The most I would put is, “Oh, I’d prefer Elizabeth, if it’s just the same to you!”

9

I yelled at a lady that works with my company the other day for addressing me as “J” in emails.

A while ago, I got into the habit of signing my emails with a “j” at the bottom when - and only when - there was a flurry of back-and-forth between several people at their company and our company and people weren’t signing their names to replies. It got confusing so I marked mine with “j” at the end.

Every other single time I’ve corresponded with this company, I sign my name “Jessica.” I call myself “Jessica” and my co-workers refer to me, to this other company, as “Jessica.”

But this woman decided to address me as “J” and then started signing her emails as “M”.

I already hate the people at this company so that didn’t sit right with me AT ALL so after about a year or maybe more of her addressing me as “J” in emails and me specifically replying and signing “Jessica” I just let her have it.

Well, I said “Please stop addressing me as J, as my name is not J it is Jessica.”

Drove me up a goddamn wall.

10

It irritates me when people can’t spell my name right in emails, too. I pointed out to my coworker, after she spelled my name with an e, that my name is correctly spelled in the “to” line of the email. She looked at me like I was crazy and said she hadn’t bothered looking there. Is it really that hard?

11

For some bizarre reason people cannot pronounce my simple first name. And even my simple last name for that matter. I don’t care and don’t take it personally anymore. I’m actually surprised when people get it right.

On the flip side. I knew a guy that was a real asshole (keep in mind when I consider someone an asshole they are in a pretty small class and are very likely to be considered assholes by anybody other than Will Rogers). He was borderline scary crazy. Arrogant as hell. Knew more than anyone else. Ooozed machoness. Likely framed someone for a crime once. Everytime you saw him out recreating he had a new group of newbies with him because he was such a jerk he couldn’t keep anyone around him for any length of time.

Anyhow, I was on occasion “forced” to be around this jerk. When he first entered the scene his name was a slightly shortened and common version of his real name. For years this name was what he used. Then, when his meds were changed I guess, he went all Prince on everyone and decided his formal name was his name and got rather pissed if you used his shortened version.

I made sure to always use the shortened version u[p until the day he finally moved away. And he will always be “shorty” to me.

12

What is it, by the way, with people who comment on Facebook right under you, meaning right under your correctly spelled name, and spell it wrong? It’s right there! (I have one of those names with two common variants, but I’m the less common one.)

13

I don’t think anyone willfully screws up my name except a few friends who have decided that since I don’t have a nickname, by God, they’ll give me one! However, since my name is very similar to a few more common names, people often hear my name as one of the more common ones.

The most amusing example of this though is a follow-up email I got from career consulting at my college, because my college email is my first name. So she had to type in my actual name in order to send me an email addressing me by a different one.

14

“It’s a past time for some”???

15

My surname can be used as a first name and has several variations in spelling (like the Scots clan Stuart/Stewart, but not).

And it’s gender neutral, where my first name is not.

Oh the fun people have!

Like someone said upthread, they’ll have to spell my name fully & correctly to send a message calling me the wrong name spelled weirdly.

If I let it upset me, I’d never get any work done.

16

Lemme guess (assuming Zsofia is your real name): they put the Z after the S, or forget it altogether?

17

My name* is, um, difficult for people to spell. It is only 5 letters, but experience proves that this is too much for many to spell or pronounce correctly. It is a homophone with a reasonably common word. If the listener is not paying attention, it is often mistaken for any one of the following names: Meredith, Mary, Mark, Marriott, Marti, Molly and on rare, bizarre occasion, Kari; with Meredith and Mary being the most common.

A co-worker, who should’ve known better, had gotten a new computer so all of his auto-fills in Outlook were wiped out. He sent me an email addressed to the homophone of my name. I walked over to give him a hard time about it. He gave me this long story about trying to send me to the email, not being able to find it in the Outlook Address book, and having to start at the beginning of the M’s until he found me. I pointed out that if he had gone through all of that to find my email address, he should’ve noticed that he had spelled my name wrong and that he owed me a bottle of vodka for a penalty. He brought me a bottle of Absolute the next day :smiley:
I had a customer who insisted on addressing all of his emails to Mark. My first and last names are in my email address, my email signature includes my name, and I had left him at least 1 voice mail stating my name. The emails continued to come to Mark. I finally had one of our sales reps point out to him that my name was not Mark.
*My screen name is the pronunciation guide to my name, but not the spelling.

18

http://www.politico.com/blogs/anneschroeder/0609/No_namecalling.html

And a separate set of emails from Ms Becton on the issue of the suspended lunchlady: More Super Mean 'Liz Becton' E-mails! - by Jim Newell

19

Approximately 95% of people hearing my name get it wrong, and many continue even after being corrected. People only mistake the written form about half the time. For some reason, it’s far easier for people to assume I’ve mispronounced my own name than it is for them to repeat the pronunciation I use. I’ll even say “Prestone, P-R-E-S-T-O-N-E, rhymes with tone,” and people will repeat “Pleased to meet you, Preston.” (Not the real name.)

20

Huh? The Latin pronunciation is boe-DOE-nee, right? How else can you pronounce that?

Anyways, I’ve had exactly one person, a neighbor who graduated with me, pronounce my name wrong on purpose, specifically replacing it with a different name. I’m pretty sure it was supposed to be affectionate. Unfortunately, he’s no longer with us, so I can’t ask him.