I have no clue if I"m in the right forum, I always try to make things easy for the admins, but something like “this” I’m just playing the guessing game.
I’m just curious why I introduce myself as _______<–insert formal name there
and dude or lady comes back calling me by the shortened version of my name or whatever is comfortable for them? Am I sane? Is it messed up to get upset at people for changing your name to whatever? Say “Thomas” to Tom or whatnot?
I’ll be in a conversation with somebody in a professional capacity and I’ll say something like “hello, my name is “Michael” and I’m here to set-up your servers in the back and make sure your network runs smoothly from all your systems” and I’ll get back “Hi “Mike” the server room is in that back on your left” at which point my inner dialogue wakes up in my head
“Really? I just told you what my name was, did I SAY my name was “MIKE”?”
but of course I say nothing. Because how predictable is it to have an anal computer tech in the room correcting people like "I prefer “Michael” to which they’re probably thinking, “gees, it’s the same name, what’s the big deal?”
The big deal is, I didn’t introduce myself that way, what makes you think you can just change my name to what you feel like? It’s even worse when it happens with my friends or family, mostly because with personal relationships one would think to care about what someone around them so often prefers to be called.
So ok, let me know… I’m more than prepared to be considered strange… I wondered if anyone else has my particular degree of brain damage? :rolleyes:
People do that to me all the time and I correct them. In that scenario I would have said, ‘Thanks. By the way, my name is Michael.’ If they question it, I tell them that I’m only used to being called by that name, so if they want me to know they’re talking to me it’s best to use it.
I’m not bothered by being called by a nickname. The most common one for my name is simply the first syllable so it doesn’t sound childish or cutesy. But I will refer to people how they introduced themselves to me.
Antinor01 the thing is, in the family situation anyway, I DO correct them and it still ends up as they see fit. In the professional capacity I rarely correct them, because I work job sites and in another 30-45 minutes it’s probably not going to not matter that much anyway. I’m a friendly enough person. I was just raised that calling people the way they prefer is a form of respect towards the other person. It’s probably at the soul of my beef in all this. As many other techs tell me over the phone, it’s not MY system that’s down, mine works just fine at home Be nice to your technology friends
This is one of my SO’s pet peeves. She has a rather unusual first name and people constantly shorten it; which makes her crazy. Unlike her, I have no issue with it and she quietly seethes everytime someone uses my contracted name. She always refers to my full name at home. IME, If you are polite and ask people to refer to you by your full name, you won’t get any flack for it.
There’s a guy in my office who keeps calling me, Paul. Which isn’t my name. He’s done it for so long that I don’t have the heart to correct him. One of these days he’ll figure it out. I hope I’m there when he does.
I have ALWAYS been known as Mike all my life. But the woman who became my first wife decided she was going to call me Michael. My wishes never entered into the equation at all.
As you might imagine, this served as a handy predictor of how the marriage would work out.
To this day, if someone who doesn’t know any better calls me Michael, I involuntarily tense up.
To answer your original question, I certainly agree with you that if you’ve spoken your name out loud, that implies that you prefer to be addressed in that way. To do otherwise is rude — and just as in the case with my first wife, says “My wishes count for more than yours do.”
Someone tried using a nickname with me once when she first met me. I looked her dead in the eyes and said “Oh, if you could call me (my first name), please”. It cut that shit out immediately.
With me, nicknames are reserved for people on friendly terms with me, as forms of endearment. While I have bunches of nicknames (everyone makes their own) my name does not naturally have a common nickname, so I’m lucky in that regard. Strangers don’t usually manage to come up with a nickname out of nowhere. If a new friend tries to take an earmarked nickname - no. Nope. Find a new one. Use the “general use” one if you want. Only (this friend) can call me (that). So if you think you’re weird about the nicknames, well…!
I have a couple friends who are also picky about their names, and I defer to whatever they want. I also figure, however someone introduces themselves is how they want to be called until mentioned otherwise. I get a bit peeved when my husband’s family uses a diminutive twee form of his name, but it’s whatever he wants and he doesn’t mind.
It really isn’t about you being friendly or not, it’s rude to call someone by a name they haven’t said it was ok to use. There is nothing wrong with gently correcting someone, even if you have to do it on a near daily basis like I’ve had to do with some co-workers. Now if you said ‘Listen up fuckwad, I said my name is MICHAEL!’, that would be unfriendly.
I get the same thing in written communications, my name is clearly listed in my signature…yet I still get replies addressing me with a shortened form.
In grade school my daughter had a friend who was born in France. Her parents returned with her to the US after a few years in France and have been here since.
Her name was Chloe. She (and her family) pronounced it Chlo-AY, while most people would say Chlo-EE.
Cool thing was, she would not answer to Chlo-EE. It was as if you had called her Hester. She just wouldn’t respond.
My name isn’t Michael/Mike/Mikey, but those variants can be mapped to my real name easily, so I’ll use them to avoid spoiling my “semi-anonymity”.
I agree - if someone introduces themselves as Michael, call them Michael. If they introduce themselves as Mike, call them Mike. I don’t particularly object to the question “May I call you <name>?” although I don’t think it is necessary.
My preference has always been Michael (even as a kid). If somebody calls me Mike I won’t correct them but if they happen to ask I’ll tell them that I prefer Michael but am not bothered at the use of Mike. I will correct anyone that calls me Mikey, whether in a work or a non-work environment. That includes people that think they are my friends (if they really are my friends they will know that I don’t like that name).
I find this amusing because I’m a woman and my name is Mikel. I introduce myself as Mikel and people immediately call me Michelle. Oh, excuse me. I must have mispronounced my own name. Silly me. It’s Mikel, like Michael Learned. (This was easier when* The Waltons* or *Nurse *were still on.)
And no, you can’t call me Mike. Only my grandfather can call me that and he’s dead.
I hate the nickname for my given name and I never use it.
I was so happy that one of the other kids in the neighborhood had my nickname as her given name so I switched to my given name to avoid confusion.
However, I was called by my nickname as a kid so a lot of people in my family still call me by that name.
Most of the time I don’t answer, not because I’m being rude but because I don’t realize they are talking to me.
My Dad’s first & second name are very common. As a kid He was always called by his second name.
He moved to another state when he got married and always used his first name.
When we would answer the phone, which name they would use would tell us kids how important the call was. If they used the second name, it was either family or someone from the old days & he always wanted to answer those.
For myself, call me whatever you want. ( don’t be stupid about it though, I’m big & can be an asshat )
I almost always name my friends with a special nick name only I use. Sometimes it is a totally different name. Worked with a lady named Barbara. I thought she looked like a Renee so that is what I did. When asked, I said because she looks like a Renee to me. ( I’m a big fun loving guy who does not do mean snark to my friends so they seem to go along with it and everyone else does too. They don’t call her that but everyone knows who I am talking about, asking for, etc. ) I even did this to my Lady boss. Everyone I have ever done this with has never complained. The Lady boss was actually the owner also but I had been with the company longer than anyone, including her. It is just one of my quirks & people seem to go along with it.
With total strangers, I seldom use their name at all. If they are around long enough to make it worth knowing, they never seem to object top my personal rename.
Now, just like with my Mother, if the real, correct, full name is uttered by me, you were in some real do do.
But this is just me. Aren’t you glad we have never met?
I have two nicknames and I usually reserve one for family and close friends and the other for work. Almost no one calls me by my given name, and when I hear it it’s almost always a sign of someone who doesn’t know me at all.
My sister’s ex-SO told a very odd lie that they got caught in when they said someone had called their home and asked for me by the nickname used by my family. Since I never give anybody’s phone number but my own as a contact and no one outside of those closest to me use that nickname is was a rather easy to detect falsehood that made me trust that person even less than I already did.
I have two acquaintances that this happens two regularly: Robert, who is rountinly called “Bob” and Peter, who is often called “Pete,” which he detests. Observing their obvious irritation has raised my awareness so I am careful to call folks by the name they’ve given upon introduction.
Amusing story about how the reckless use of nicknames can backfire: I once worked for a judge named Harold _____. Judges sometimes have to issue unpopular opinions, so we were always careful when someone we didn’t know called and asked to speak to the judge. One day, a man called and demanded to speak to “Hal.”
“Excuse me,” I said. "Who did you want?
“Hal. You know, Hal ________.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know a ‘Hal __________.’ Do you mean Judge ________?”
Very bluff and hearty: “Yeah. We’re old friends. Known him since high school.”
At that point, I told him that the judge was out of the office and took a message, even tho’ the judge was sitting in his chambers. The giveaway: the judge’s nickname since early childhood was Buddy. No one ever called him Hal. When I gave him the message, he said he’d never heard of the guy.
Only my grandmother ever called me that…and of course, once my stepbrothers got wind of it (when I was several years older), they called me that all the time, just to get my goat.
But revenge is mine…while, like me, they’re now just on either side of 60, they’re still called “Tommy and Dickie” by my mom, my stepdad and me. Not to their face, mind you…my younger brother made it clear years ago he wants to be called Rich.
But in absentia, he will always be known as Dickie.
Be nice to your technology friends 
