At the school I work in, basically all the security guards are good for is bullshitting around with kids playing basketball, and walking kids to the office. They are about 25-30, and look like they are straight out of juvenile hall themselves. Anything truly serious is handled by school district police.
At my college campus we also have security guards, but they do absolutely nothing. The campus police are the real security. There’s one old man in the library who calls the police if the door alarm is activated by a ‘stolen’ book, and chews out any poor soul who fails to see the “piso mojado” sign. There’s another one who makes sure no one places their feet on the couches and has sex up there…but that’s it.
The other day, when I was downtown by a bustop, lord help me I saw a security guard on duty who was so obese he couldn’t walk properly. And usually when I am in a bank, the guard is by the door and looks likely to be the first to bolt from the room. Seriously, I assume all banks have security guards on duty, but why are there bank robberies?
Why does all of this “security” make me feel so unsafe…and I haven’t even mentioned the troglodytes who provide “security” at concerts. Is this basically a welfare program?
I remember this one security guard in high school. One day he saw a walkman in my backpack. He walked by and grabbed it from me without saying a word. I later went to his office to get it back and promise not to bring it to school any more. He asked me,
“What’s your favorite beach?”
“Uh, Ocean City?”
“Bring this to school one more time and you’ll see me listening to it this summer at Ocean City.”
So to answer your question, no. School security guards are there for no reason other than to get a person used to the constant nagging they will get from police officers when they get out into the Real World (not the TV show, numbnuts).
We have a rotation of security guards where I work. Supposedly they are there to direct traffic at the end of our work day. In reality they sit in the truck and watch the traffic go by as we try to merge out of our driveway. Worse, they park the damn truck in a spot which blocks our view of oncoming traffic, thus making their presense more hazardous to us.
They’re being replaced this month by a traffic light. I get a certain perverse satisfaction out of knowing that right now they’re out there watching city workers install the end of their jobs.
hey, I resent those remarks! I work as a crossing guard, which is kinda like a security guard. I’ve acted as a witness for several traffic accidents at intersections I worked at, alerted police to a woman who threatened to run over a little girl, broke up fistfights outside schools, and got pelted by half-eaten ice cream cones, water baloons, spitballs, etc. My job is plenty busy. I like to think of myself as the local cops eyes and ears- anything fishy happens I can call to have a police officer (who at any given time is usually close by) come over to adress the situation. I’ve also helped police observe traffic patterns and confirm license plate numbers of individuals.
When you’re driving by and you see me standing there with my dayglo vest and stop sign, you might not think much of me. But if it turns out I’m the one who saw the license plate number of the car who hit your parked car, or ID the creep that tried to grope your kid, you might think differently :
As one of those “troglodytes,” I can tell you that most of us bust our humps trying to create a safe environment and get paid precious little for the crap we have to put up with. Why do we do it then? That precious little may be the difference in putting groceries on the table, we have a cameraderie with our co-workers, and in between the morons we have to deal with, we occasionally are privy to some pretty cool happenings. I’ve met some of my best friends through my part time job, and all the idiots I’ve dealt with over the years can’t take away the awe I felt being Guy LaFleur’s bodyguard for an evening, or the warm fuzzy feeling of taking a photo for a young brother and sister with their terminally ill grandfather at what may be his last basketball game. Yeah, I’ve met some pretty big idiots on the job too, but they generally don’t last long. The ones who’ve been doing it for years are for the most part good people, and have some great stories to tell.
I used to be the lone security guard at a power plant. The plant was out in the middle of God’s Country, without another soul for miles. I often wondered why they thought they needed me, given that I just sat in a little building near the open gate and read books all day.
Finally, when I asked, they told me that my sole purpose was to keep Greenpeace away. Apparently, years ago, some Greenpeace protestors climbed the smoke stacks and parachuted off of them. My job was to call the cops if they ever came to the gate. I grinned at my boss and told him that I probably wouldn’t, since I’d actually *pay * to see someone base-jumping from the stacks.
It was actually a pretty cool job. I used to go out to the sand dunes and read in the late afternoons, or watch the wildlife. Once an evening, I went on “patrol” which meant I got to cruise around for a while in a company truck, keeping a sharp eye out for hippies.
I suppose I was supposed to convey an aura of authority in my uniform. It actually had a badge and a shiny whistle. (“Stop right there, or I’ll blow this thing!”) However, after a while, I stopped wearing the god-awful bright blue pants. (They had a black stripe down the seams, thus distinguishing the wearer from Homer Simpson.) I just wore the dark blue uniform shirt and a pair of jeans. It must have been just as effective, because no one ever dared challenge my authority.
I wouldn’t place crossing guards in that category as they really do something very tangible.
As for concert security, I am sorry but most of my personal experiences have been that they are basically there to knock the crap out of anyone who looks a little queer to them. As far as I’ve seen, they are not part of the staff of the venue, but are basically bouncers for the individual shows.
Of course celebrities and performers need to be guarded, I am talking about the people who play bar bouncer at heavy metal shows.
AFAIK, concert security falls into a few different categories:
Actual security-trained people who guard performers and celebrities. I’ve always assumed that they were hired by the performers themselves, as a regular job. But some concert venues might provide extra security for those individuals.
Bar bouncher/breaking up fights/carrying drunk people types of security. I know lots of university student rugby-players who do this kind of work at summer concerts. No actual security training to speak of.
“T-shirt security.” I’ve done this before. Basically it was people who gets paid fifty bucks or so to help with “security” at a concert. No actual security work involved (in terms of physical altercations, handling threatening situations, etc…). Usually all I did was tell people where the washrooms are and stand in front of areas they’re not allowed to go into and tell them that they’re not allowed in there. Very boring.
Mall/campus/etc… rent-a-cops are really only around to notify the actual police/constables/firemen/etc… in case anything happens. They’re more “eyes and ears” than anything else.
The best I can tell, our campus security is only good for unlocking the door to my office. One time they didn’t show up utnil a full hour after I called.
“Sorry, I forgot.”
My building is staffed by Commisonaires as opposed to security guards - to be a Commisonaire you have to have police or military experience - however, I think most of the fellas got their experience in the 2nd world war.
However, despite their advancing age they’re all nice and helpful and direct patients to the appropriate place and make sure that pizza gets sent up to the right lab - they’re a pretty nice bunch of guys, actually.
I have no complaints personality wise, but I do wonder what would happen if there were a need for actual SECURITY - I do know when the G-8 was going on in Kananaskas Country the Faculty brought in outside security people. (We have an extensive animal facility in my building which could have potentially be targeted - thankfully it wasn’t.)
Further, I think that a reliable eye-witness (someone who’s paid to get involved) really is a deterrence. Think about it from the perspective of a criminal. If you’re casing for targets, do you choose someplace with a guard or someplace without? You are more likely to be succesful in one without.
[sub]success being defined as getting away with it, not getting out there and having the cops catch up with you later[/sub]
I worked as a security guard at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympic Games, at the yachting venue in Long Beach. I worked the midnight to 8:00 am shift. Our job was to watch various areas and call the real cops or Coast Guard if we saw anything funny. So basically I was being paid $5.00/hour to sit on the beach.
Well, what if you’re a woman alone at the mall late at night (say you work there and had to close)? And what if the neighborhood is dangerous? Wouldn’t you want a security guard to escort you to your car? I would think a mugger or rapist would be less likely to attack an escorted woman.
At one college I attended, which was in a very bad part of town, this type of service was provided to anyone who asked (male or female). I think it’s a good idea, even if they aren’t trained to do anything but call the police.
Ahhhh, the memories. My dad was a Mall rent-a-cop. I hate rent-a-cops.
We got one at our school when I was, I think, a senior. He also worked at the Mall. He was a laghing stock. A great beanpole of a man with poofy hair we called “Slim.”
We had 600 students in the school and the administration thought we needed a security guard. All the guy did was stand around, look stupid and get laughed at. It was pathetic.
Oh, and this …
Sounds like pretty much every job I’ve ever had before the current one. None of which actually had anything to do with security. Quit your bitching.
