Do these "bodyhacks" (hacking a body like a computer, I guess) really work?

[gitfiddle]

I saw this the other day on digg or reddit, and I’m wondering if they’re real or not:

1. If your throat tickles, scratch your ear!

When you were 9, playing your armpit was a cool trick. Now, as an adult, you can still appreciate a good body-based feat, but you’re more discriminating. Take that tickle in your throat; it’s not worth gagging over. Here’s a better way to scratch your itch: “When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle spasm,” says Scott Schaffer, M.D., president of an ear, nose, and throat specialty center in Gibbsboro, New Jersey. “This spasm relieves the tickle.”

2. Experience supersonic hearing!

If you’re stuck chatting up a mumbler at a cocktail party, lean in with your right ear. It’s better than your left at following the rapid rhythms of speech, according to researchers at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine. If, on the other hand, you’re trying to identify that song playing softly in the elevator, turn your left ear toward the sound. The left ear is better at picking up music tones.

3. Overcome your most primal urge!

Need to pee? No bathroom nearby? Fantasize about Jessica Simpson. Thinking about sex preoccupies your brain, so you won’t feel as much discomfort, says Larry Lipshultz, M.D., chief of male reproductive medicine at the Baylor College of Medicine. For best results, try Simpson’s “These Boots Are Made for Walking” video.

4. Feel no pain!

German researchers have discovered that coughing during an injection can lessen the pain of the needle stick. According to Taras Usichenko, author of a study on the phenomenon, the trick causes a sudden, temporary rise in pressure in the chest and spinal canal, inhibiting the pain-conducting structures of the spinal cord.

5. Clear your stuffed nose!

Forget Sudafed. An easier, quicker, and cheaper way to relieve sinus pressure is by alternately thrusting your tongue against the roof of your mouth, then pressing between your eyebrows with one finger. This causes the vomer bone, which runs through the nasal passages to the mouth, to rock back and forth, says Lisa DeStefano, D.O., an assistant professor at the Michigan State University college of osteopathic medicine. The motion loosens congestion; after 20 seconds, you’ll feel your sinuses start to drain.

6. Fight fire without water!

Worried those wings will repeat on you tonight? “Sleep on your left side,” says Anthony A. Starpoli, M.D., a New York City gastroenterologist and assistant professor of medicine at New York Medical College. Studies have shown that patients who sleep on their left sides are less likely to suffer from acid reflux. The esophagus and stomach connect at an angle. When you sleep on your right, the stomach is higher than the esophagus, allowing food and stomach acid to slide up your throat. When you’re on your left, the stomach is lower than the esophagus, so gravity’s in your favor.

7. Cure your toothache without opening your mouth!

Just rub ice on the back of your hand, on the V-shaped webbed area between your thumb and index finger. A Canadian study found that this technique reduces toothache pain by as much as 50 percent compared with using no ice. The nerve pathways at the base of that V stimulate an area of the brain that blocks pain signals from the face and hands.

8. Make burns disappear!

When you accidentally singe your finger on the stove, clean the skin and apply light pressure with the finger pads of your unmarred hand. Ice will relieve your pain more quickly, Dr. DeStefano says, but since the natual method brings the burned skin back to a normal temperature, the skin is less likely to blister.

9. Stop the world from spinning!

One too many drinks left you dizzy? Put your hand on something stable. The part of your ear responsible for balance – the cupula – floats in a fluid of the same density as blood. “As alcohol dilutes blood in the cupula, the cupula becomes less dense and rises,” says Dr. Schaffer. This confuses your brain. The tactile input from a stable object gives the brain a second opinion, and you feel more in balance. Because the nerves in the hand are so sensitive, this works better than the conventional foot-on-the-floor wisdom.

10. Unstitch your side!

If you’re like most people, when you run, you exhale as your right foot hits the ground. This puts downward pressure on your liver (which lives on your right side), which then tugs at the diaphragm and creates a side stitch, according to The Doctors Book of Home Remedies for Men. The fix: Exhale as your left foot strikes the ground.

11. Stanch blood with a single finger!

Pinching your nose and leaning back is a great way to stop a nosebleed – if you don’t mind choking on your own O positive. A more civil approach: Put some cotton on your upper gums – just behind that small dent below your nose – and press against it, hard. “Most bleeds come from the front of the septum, the cartilage wall that divides the nose,” says Peter Desmarais, M.D., an ear, nose, and throat specialist at Entabeni Hospital, in Durban, South Africa. “Pressing here helps stop them.”

12. Make your heart stand still!

Trying to quell first-date jitters? Blow on your thumb. The vagus nerve, which governs heart rate, can be controlled through breathing, says Ben Abo, an emergency medical- services specialist at the University of Pittsburgh. It’ll get your heart rate back to normal.

13. Thaw your brain!

Too much Chipwich too fast will freeze the brains of lesser men. As for you, press your tongue flat against the roof of your mouth, covering as much as you can. “Since the nerves in the roof of your mouth get extremely cold, your body thinks your brain is freezing, too,” says Abo. “In compensating, it overheats, causing an ice-cream headache.” The more pressure you apply to the roof of your mouth, the faster your headache will subside.

14. Prevent near-sightedness!

Poor distance vision is rarely caused by genetics, says Anne Barber, O.D., an optometrist in Tacoma, Washington. “It’s usually caused by near-point stress.” In other words, staring at your computer screen for too long. So flex your way to 20/20 vision. Every few hours during the day, close your eyes, tense your body, take a deep breath, and, after a few seconds, release your breath and muscles at the same time. Tightening and releasing muscles such as the biceps and glutes can trick involuntary muscles – like the eyes – into relaxing as well.

15. Wake the dead!

If your hand falls asleep while you’re driving or sitting in an odd position, rock your head from side to side. It’ll painlessly banish your pins and needles in less than a minute, says Dr. DeStefano. A tingly hand or arm is often the result of compression in the bundle of nerves in your neck; loosening your neck muscles releases the pressure. Compressed nerves lower in the body govern the feet, so don’t let your sleeping dogs lie. Stand up and walk around.

16. Impress your friends!

Next time you’re at a party, try this trick: Have a person hold one arm straight out to the side, palm down, and instruct him to maintain this position. Then place two fingers on his wrist and push down. He’ll resist. Now have him put one foot on a surface that’s a half inch higher (a few magazines) and repeat. This time his arm will cave like the French. By misaligning his hips, you’ve offset his spine, says Rachel Cosgrove, C.S.C.S., co-owner of Results Fitness, in Santa Clarita, California. Your brain senses that the spine is vulnerable, so it shuts down the body’s ability to resist.

17. Breathe underwater!

If you’re dying to retrieve that quarter from the bottom of the pool, take several short breaths first – essentially, hyperventilate. When you’re underwater, it’s not a lack of oxygen that makes you desperate for a breath; it’s the buildup of carbon dioxide, which makes your blood acidic, which signals your brain that somethin’ ain’t right. “When you hyperventilate, the influx of oxygen lowers blood acidity,” says Jonathan Armbruster, Ph.D., an associate professor of biology at Auburn University. “This tricks your brain into thinking it has more oxygen.” It’ll buy you up to 10 seconds.
Due to response from many viewers, I have crossed out number 17.

18. Read minds!

Your own! “If you’re giving a speech the next day, review it before falling asleep,” says Candi Heimgartner, an instructor of biological sciences at the University of Idaho. Since most memory consolidation happens during sleep, anything you read right before bed is more likely to be encoded as long-term memory.

Some of the comments suggest they’re not really bona fide. I’m just wondering which ones are true and which one’s aren’t.

[gitfiddle]

Should go ahead and take #17 off the list.

[jackelope]

#8: I doubt it.

#9: Yes.

[Q.E.D]

Well, #6 is true…in most people. There are a few individuals with internal organs reversed ( a condition called situs inversus in whom the opposite would be the case–about .01% of the population.

[Aspidistra]

#1 sounds a lot like a hiccup cure I learnt off a friend of mine (scratch the inside of your ear with something like a matchstick - note: do this very carefully :eek: )

It works outstandingly well for us (99% of the time success within a few seconds)

[Little_Cloud]

I discovered #6 works on my own but I thought it was just me.

Actually, most of these seem quite reasonable.  The ones for pain might vary a lot depending on the individual but I work in a drug rehab and plan to try them out on my patients.  They have to avoid unnececcary pain killers anyway.

As for #17  -  I don't see the problem with it.  Okay, the title "Breathe underwater" is a bit misleading but hyperventilating will absolutely enable you to hold your breath considerably longer by lowering the carbon dioxide levels that make you breathe frequently.  Divers use this trick all the time.

[Wheeljack]

John Tesh, is that you?

[KGS]

#2 makes sense, because the left side of the brain interprets speech, the right side interprets abstract patterns (such as music) and each ear is connected to the opposite side of the brain.

Don’t know if #3 works, but if it does I can forsee a problem – yeah, you no longer have to pee, but now you’ve got a major stiffie to deal with.

I think the objection to #17 isn’t that it doesn’t work (it does…I’ve tried it myself) but that hyperventilation makes you more likely to pass out and drown.

[Princhester]

#1 is correct to the extent that there is clearly a connection to at least some degree between my ear and throat. If I fiddle with my ear in a certain way, I often get a tickle in my throat. I don’t think I can scratch a tickle in my throat this way, though.

[Jackmannii]

A lot of this stuff sounds impractical, tentative (based only on some small pilot study) or unnecessary.

If I am eating something cold and get a brain freeze pain, I get relief in a few seconds just by not eating it for a bit. I suppose I could hit the magic spot with my tongue as recommended and get the same results.

Coughing vigorously to lessen the pain of an injection sounds wonderful, except that it could jar the needle loose or jitter it around, causing more tissue damage.

This one sounds like bunkum pure and simple: “Poor distance vision is rarely caused by genetics, says Anne Barber, O.D., an optometrist in Tacoma, Washington. “It’s usually caused by near-point stress.” In other words, staring at your computer screen for too long. So flex your way to 20/20 vision. Every few hours during the day, close your eyes, tense your body, take a deep breath, and, after a few seconds, release your breath and muscles at the same time. Tightening and releasing muscles such as the biceps and glutes can trick involuntary muscles – like the eyes – into relaxing as well.”

I’d love to see the research showing this alleviates near-sightedness. Of course, proponents could always claim that it prevented nearsighteness, on the same principle that muttering incantations to Cthulu keeps elephants from showing up on your lawn.

I am thinking about writing an article about amazing remedies of my own, such as:

“Getting kicked in the balls lessens the pain of migraine headache!”
“Farting vigorously sends Jehovah’s Witnesses away from your door!”

Etc.

[CookingWithGas]

@Little Cloud

. . . hyperventilating will absolutely enable you to hold your breath considerably longer by lowering the carbon dioxide levels that make you breathe frequently. Divers use this trick all the time.

The U.S. Navy doesn’t seem to think this is such a good idea. I hear they know something about diving.

@The Navy

Hyperventilation is so dangerous that the U.S. Navy diving manual issues a specific warning in red about it and professional aquatics organizations caution against it. Previous incidents highlight the dangers of this practice.

[Jackmannii]

Need to pee? No bathroom nearby? Fantasize about Jessica Simpson.

This reminds me - once I saw Paris Hilton on a magazine cover and then felt the urge to take a dump. Could be coincidence.

The Nancy Grace-poopic reflex is well documented however.

[Cagey_Drifter]

goddammit, does everything have to be a “hack” these days?

[Oregon_sunshine]

It’s usually caused by near-point stress

Anecdotal evidence here - my optometrist years ago told me my late-day distance vision problems were actually caused by me farsightedness combined with staring at a computer screen/tiny stitches (I made quilts) all day. He recommended reading glasses to help my eye muscles to relax, which alleviated the problem.

[gonzoron]

I’ve had good results with #13. The brain freeze definitely seems to go away faster than just waiting.

[AskNott]

Number 5. Moving the vomer bone? Oh, please. All the bones of an adult skull are pretty well fused together, aren’t they? Not counting the three tiny ones in each ear, of course. You know, the stirrup, the eggplant, and the anvil.

I learned from Lewis Carroll that “there’s nothing like eating hay for a headache.” It won’t help the headache, but there’s nothing like it.

[rowrrbazzle]

The original source is Men’s Health magazine, a highly respected medical journal. :rolleyes:

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=health&category=other.diseases.ailments&conitem=98f183b403517010VgnVCM200000cee793cd____&page=1

I can’t find a date on the article, but I know I saw it in 2005. Here’s a blog that referred to it at that time: http://scribalterror.blogs.com/scribal_terror/2005/11/teach_your_body.html

For items 5, 8, and 15, note that Lisa DeStefano is a doctor of osteopathy, not an MD.

[DocCathode]

@Cagey Drifter

goddammit, does everything have to be a “hack” these days?

I was disappointed rather than upset. I was hoping for overclocking the CPU, case mods etc.

RE #1

The Estachian tube links the ear and throat. Scratching the end in the ear can relieve an itch in the throat.

[sturmhauke]

#11 works for nosebleeds. I use a small piece of napkin or the like, preferably made damp with water before stuffing it into place. You don’t really need to press on it either, you can just leave it there for a few minutes until the bleeding stops.