I work for an Airline, and we’ve got Rechargable “Air bottles” (recompress themselves using standard 110 vAC). for air-starting the jets when their internal Aux power units aren’t working.
They charge to 500 psi and are already outrigged with the discharge hoses, connectors and valves… Plus, they are on wheels and can be “towed”.
Might be something to consider when its time to go shoppin’.
I like the idea of aiming the goat(s) towards starving third-world countries. “Goats From Above” would be a good name for the program, complete with the “Ride of the Valkyries” as theme music.
Maybe before the initial launch we could have the Blue Angels do a fly-over, followed by the Marine Corps Band performing the 1812 Overture. If we had multiple goat guns, we could time the launches to coincide with the cannon shots.
To fund future development we could lease the goat guns to the INS for use in returning illegal aliens to their countries of origin.
I am much too lazy to read all the responses to this thread, but I am very curious. What purpose would this goat-launcher serve?..and what would you shoot goats at? and wtf is with you guys suggesting catapults?..the best method is cleary PVC or some other cannon. I would sugget using a pygmy goat, preferably female. These get up to about 20 or 25 lbs, so you could get one pretty far. ALSO, if you don’t already have a target, I was thinking that you could use a bundle of razor wire, with a 3 foot radius. I think you would get some awesome effects when the goat has impact. Be sure to film this event too. Anyway, I look forward to some replys.
Yes, I know this is an ancient thread, but it has been haunting me lately and I have to share my vision of the big day. It feels like a summer event, perhaps a Fourth of July celebration as the grand climax to the fireworks show.
As other folks have ably suggested, our Star Goat will be suavely attired in an Evel Knievel Stars & Strips Nomex suit, wearing a WWI leather aviator’s helmet with goggles and trailing a long white scarf. A series of twinkling lights will be built into the suit for sparkle effects, and a couple of strap-on smoke units similar to those used by stunt pilots at airshows could add to the excitement of the event.
Throngs of the bronzed, beered-up and bikini-clad will stand in awe at the historic event. I particularly like the possiblilities of strapping a Superball to each cloven hoof for excitement after initial impact.
Let’s hold on to the dream.
Since this is a space event, put the beered-up girls in bronze bikinis. Thank you, Carrie Fisher! 
I love this thread
I work in a funeral home, last year we had a guy whose last request was to be buried in space my boss has told his wife hey, no problem well the time comes to have her sign the papers to get her dead husband cremated so we can put his ashes in a little vial and than into the little rocket so her husband can go to his final resting space well she said no no no there was no way she was going to let us turn her husband into charcoal what we ended up doing was injecting him with liquid propane than freezing the body to -50 degrees we than put calcium carbide in his mouth than put his body head first into a 55 gallon steel drum that we filled with a gallon of water after a few minutes which seemed like alot more with his relatives watching his body was launched I don’t know if it went all the way to space but it must of went pretty far cause nobody called reporting a dead body landing in their yard. I don’t know if that will work on goats
Shoot a goat out of a cannon…Geez at first I thought this was an updated way of saying pull my finger.
This best I’ve ever done is propel potatoes and launch a BBQ grill 3 feet off the ground. (Dont try to extract hydrogen anywhere near a BBQ grill.}
My question is about the goat. Please, please tell us what this goat did to you. I’ve got hot chocolate an oatmeal cookies and an ready for a great tail. If it comes my way.
judyism
Oh…thanks for all the other neat info
Bumping this one because, dammit, we really need to do this! With the Dubya in the White House, I’m sure we could get the Pentagon to fund a major portion of this as part of the SDI program!
NO! DO NOT AIM THE GOAT AT TOKYO!
An electromagnetic cannon’s radiation, combined with Tokyo’s tendency to attract Giant Atomic Mutants , would <MAD SCIENTIST VOICE> **Put Us All In Horrible Danger!
We Would Face The Terrible Menace Of…
GOATZILLA** </MAD SCIENTIST VOICE>
Nuff said.
Hey, Moderators! How about including this thread in the next Straight Dope Collection?
Someone earlier had mentioned the idea of using an ejector seat. I know that they at one time in order to test the ejector seat mechanism for the B58 Hustler they used a bear (Live Bear!) as a test subject. The ejector seat worked ok but from what I understand the Bear was none too pleased. Since a goat wiegh less thasn a bear perhaps that might be a way to go for a initial test phase? I remember seeing on the net somewhere the photos of the actual test shot but I can’t remember exactly where at the moment.
Just a couple more thoughts on what to name this thing…
Tiracabra (‘goat thrower’, much as *chupacabra * is ‘goat sucker’)
and
CapriCannon
This isn’t as much of an issue as you can think. Under current law you can have up to 50lbs of black powder without an arsenal license and you’ll need considerably less to propel a goat.
If you build a muzzle loading gun it should not run afoulf of that BATFE. Several experimenters have built bowling ball mortars this way using old compressed gas cylinders with the bottom cut off. Now if you build one that used fixed ammunition like an artillery shell you will face the huge task of getting goat cannon registered as a destructive device.
PVC could be a problem but I can see a sufficiently strong barrel being built with hybrid construction using a stronger steel section at the breech where pressure is highest. Shotgun barrels are like this with a heavy barrel wall at the breech end that quickly tapers thin going toward the muzzle.
Yesterday’s rerun of MythBusters was an episode where they tried to launch Buster the Crash Test Dummy out of a culvert with a gasoline explosion (the myth was about a redneck and a raccoon, FWIW)
To successfully launch Buster, they had to cap and bury one end of the culvert, make up a 10 lb baggie of gunpowder, make a plywood platform (think shotgun wad) to place between the powder and the dummy, and then load Buster.
It launched him about 150 feet.
They were using a 3’ dia corrugated culvert; I suspect 18" would do if your goat wasn’t pregnant.
I don’t want to hijack and everything, but is there a difference in nuance between hircine and caprine?
I should declare that I take an interest in goats.
If the intention is really to keep the goat alive as long as possible, I would suggest a large hollow round which the goat could be loaded INSIDE. This would take maximum advantage of the barrel rifling, allow you to cushion the goat against launch accelleration (maybe a goat G-suit?), and keep the weapon clean. Design the projectile to split apart and release the goat at apogee for visual effect, or just keep it in the projectile for maximum accuracy.
Zombi thread!