Not necessarily, I grew up in the suburbs of Washington, DC. I would say that there was a strong sense of isolation. My parents lived in the same house for about twenty years and while they had some friends or acquaintances in the neighborhood, they didn’t know the names of their next door neighbors. I didn’t really know them either, even though one set had daughters about the same age as me. They kept mostly to themselves and only socialized with other members of their ethnic group, (they were Koreans). Also, there was a good amount of transition. Of the original people who bought on our street in 1977, I would say that most of them had moved out by the time that my parents moved in 1997. Note- the neighborhood didn’t undergo any kind of socio-economic change.
For the most part, everyone in the neighborhood kept to themselves, I don’t remember anything like a block party or any other such thing in the neighborhood. You rarely saw anyone walking on the sidewalks either. It was very quiet.
I’ve live in a rural mountain community for 14 years.
No neighbors. Yet, I do know some of the people that live here. And we do count on each other. Sort of have to.
My Wife and I bought the property next door so we wouldn’t have neighbors. The ‘lot’ on the other side of our house is pretty much un-buildable. That’s good news.
Anyway, the closest house, about a ¼ mile down the road was purchased by some retired folks a few years ago. The original owners couldn’t handle it up here. It’s very extreme weather wise.
The new owners plan on moving up this fall. They have spent quite a bit of time visiting in the winters, so they have an idea what it’s like here. I have hope for them. They at least have two 4x4’s. And know a little bit about living at altitude.
I have lived in the city. And suburbs. It was OK. I’d much rather live where I am. Here, we are all neighbors, even if you are miles away, or just a lost tourist.
I’ll give you the cup of sugar. It’s more likely that I will have to pull your car out of the ditch. I’ll do it gladly, and enjoy it even. But weekends and time off are for me and my wife. We always have something to do. Summers are short, we have lots to do in the 2-3 months that summer visits us.
Summer never stays for long periods. It often leaves a few inches of snow in June/July or August that winter never really left.
It makes me sad that some day, we will have to leave here. I can already feel it at age 45 that life sneaks up on you, and you are not as young as you used to be.
As others have mentioned the car culture seems to have a lot to do with the isolation some people feel in the suburbs. You go from your house bubble to your car bubble to your work bubble. When you need to go to the store you go in your car bubble to the strip mall bubble and back home.
In the city you often are forced to interact more with people. When I need a loaf of bread I walk a couple of blocks to the store, when I go out to eat I walk there. You just run into people more.
I used to work for an organization that placed foreign exchange students from Russia into homes in the US. The Russian kids who lived in the burbs very often reported that they found the experience lonely and frequently cited the lack of anyone walking anywhere. The lack of foot traffic eliminates the random encounter with strangers that lead to chit-chat.
I think older suburbs can have that sense of community, but I’ve seen newer burbs that don’t even have sidewalks, and where almost every street ends in a cul de sac (sp?). I think that kind of layout reinforces isolation in the burbs and that’s why you here about these petty squabbles about lawns and where cars are parked.
It matches up with mine. I didn’t mention it in my earlier post, but I grew up in the suburbs, and it was soul crushingly isolating after about 6th grade. Kids I had grown up with starting moving away, and no one got to know the new families on the block who replaced them. There were no longer groups of like-aged kids to draw people together. More and more of the women started working full time, as well, which further dismantled what social ties there were - no more coffee on the porch watching your kids play together in the yard. By that age, I was biking 2 miles or so to meet up with friends, because none lived near me any longer. Soon after that I got a car, and my social circle drifted into the next town over (where there was a Denny’s) and I was never at home except to sleep.
Agreed. When I was younger, we lived in an older suburb of a small city. Lots were smaller and closer together and marked by small fences or shrubbery. We lived within walking distance of the elementary and middle school (where I walked through six feet of snow…) and there was some wooded areas nearby we used to play and ride bikes around in. You could always just go out and look up and down the street to see who was out.
When we moved the new neighborhood, it was a little different. Houses were on half-acre or larger plots separated by woods. It was about 3-5 miles to anyplace of interest - shops, school, the town park. You couldn’t really go anwhere without a car. I had a few friends who lived on the cul-de-sac behind our house, but life pretty much consisted of hanging out bored all the time. Plus I hate that “just survived the appocalyse” feeling you get walking around an empty suburb in the middle of a weekday afternoon.
The main social tie for suburbanites these days seems to be if your kids are on the same soccer or baseball team. If you’re a young guy or gal in his 20s or 30s who moves to the suburbs, I can’t imagine where you would meet other people.
I’m talking about suburbs that are a fair distance from a major city. I lived in a suburb of Boston as did many of my friends. We’re only about 15-30 minutes from downtown Boston so that’s where we would generally hang out. I would go insane living where my parents live where it’s a 30 minute trip just to get to a mall.