Could you live in a neighborhood where few or none of your peers live?

In My Humble Opinion
1

My girlfriend and I were having an [del]argument[/del] discussion about this last night. Considering that the cost of housing in your area is relatively affordable, you have a choice in where to reside, and commuting isn’t a factor, could you live in a neighborhood or region where few of your peers lived? A few examples:

  • You’re Jewish, and you live in a community that is almost entirely Catholic, on the side of town far from where most Jews in the region live.

  • You’re a young, educated professional, and you live in a very blue collar neighborhood where almost everybody works “at the plant”.

  • You’re an educated professional, and you live in an “rugged” exurb where everybody and their brother runs a machine shop, works in the mechanical trades, drives a tow truck, and so on.

  • You’re single, and you live in a very family oriented neighborhood; your house is the only one on the block without a minivan in the driveway.

Discount the fact that your neighbors may be “good people”. Given the choice, would you choose to live in a neighborhood where, basically, you’re an outsider looking in?

Me? I have to be honest: Way too often in my life, I was the odd man out, the outsider looking in, the last kid picked for the team. I really don’t want to continue that in the place where I live. I don’t want to live in a neighborhood or place where there is a demographic monoculture, and everybody seemed the same, but I would really feel uncomfortable, and a bit isolated, if I was “the Jewish guy” in a city, or the single guy at the end of a cul-de-sac that all the parents suspected was a child molester because “why else would he live here, instead of in the city?”

Several years ago, I lived in suburban Orlando. While most young professionals lived downtown or in areas to the north, east and south, I lived in Ocoee, a western suburb. Ocoee was predominantly middle to upper-middle-class, but it was very blue-collar; my neighbors included a roofer, prison guard, retired Marine Corps drill sergeant, motorcycle mechanic, painter, and so on. They were great neighbors, and they didn’t think this guy without any pickup trucks in his driveway, who wore a button-down shirt to work, was some sort of oddball Yankee.

Still, I did feel a bit uncomfortable and out-of-place. Head to any bar in Ocoee, and EVERYBODY had a Nextel phone strapped off their belt, with constant beeping followed by talk of jack-and-bore jobs, picking up the cherry picker at Sunbelt Rentals, and so on. The nearest bar where I could meet my peers was six miles away. No coffeeshops, no amenities catering to young professionals; they were all across town. There was a smattering of young professionals, but they were mostly traditional families; Mom, Dad, three kids and the prerequisite yellow Lab. I don’t want to put down the good people I lived near, but I don’t think I could live there again; I just felt isolated and lonely.

2

We’re the only childless couple around our neighborhood. Even the older people have grown children and/or grandchildren in their lives. Doesn’t bother me a bit. Most of the men are blue-collar, and most of the women are white-collar, so we fit in there.

3

I currently live in a housing development like that, but that’s okay because I’m not a people person, meeting more people online and at the game store than in person.

I’m single and a professional whereas most people in both of the places I live seem to be working class (not sure, never met them,) with medium sized families. Then again, it doesn’t seem like they know each other a whole lot either cause there are relatively few really big parties or sidewalk conversations going on.

I live there because of the price: I’d feel really stupid if I went for a luxurious house and then lost my job before I had enough money to retire. (And a luxurious apartment or condo would be even louder than my current places considering many of them are new with thin walls and with residents that can afford the best sound system and loudest motors, at least that’s my impression from living in a “luxury apartment” for three years for the space and proximity to work.)

4

I currently do. We are a white, gay couple living in a heavily hispanic neighborhood.

5

I do. I live in an overwhelmingly Hispanic, largely lower-income neighborhood full of small children. It’s ethnic to the point that all of the businesses in the neighborhood (even the national chains like Walgreens and Payless) have their signage in Spanish, and many have it in only Spanish.

6

Similarly, I’m a single white, middle-class, professional woman living in a mostly Hispanic, working class neighborhood. I don’t have a lot in common with my neighbors who are all good people but it’s not an issue. I have a neat house in an area that’s a mile from downtown where there are the amenities I like.

7

That’s me. Not a deliberate decision as such, mind, but a long-term house-sit arrangement. It does make me feel rather out of place, I do have to say, as I have so little in common with most of my neighbours. There’s no snobbery or exclusion, it’s just that when I meet them, we can struggle to find things to talk about. Not that it matters all that much, because both my work and my (few) social activities mostly revolve around music, which by nature creates a wider gregariousness.

8

I could, and have, and do, but I’d prefer to have–what? Maybe not a neighborhood of people like me, but a neighborhood with a mixed demographic.

9

It wouldn’t bother me. I don’t hang out with my neighbors beyond exchanging pleasantries about the weather or our gardens. My friends are scattered across the county, and though a few live on my end of town, none live in my neighborhood.

10

To be honest, I don’t know any of my neighbors. So it pretty much doesn’t matter to me. What matters is having access to certain activities, etc. But given that I’m in Southern CA, that’s something we’d expect to drive to anyway, so it’s not really a factor. I don’t need to live a block away from a theater, for example.

11

Sure. I’m like your last example - single woman in a very family-oriented neighborhood. I find that the people in my neighborhood embrace me because I’m different. The kids like to talk to my dog when I walk her, the elderly neighbors send me Christmas cards, the family next door lets me borrow their tools.

If can’t think of any type of “neighborhood” I’d fit in with … unless it was one where everyone stayed inside and talked over IM, which would make your point moot.

I think having a bunch of different kinds of people in a neighborhood makes it nicer.

12

Another voice for I would, have, and do. Of course I also tell people that I was raised by hermits. I don’t expect to know the neighbors well. I also don’t expect much of anyone to share my interests and I’m willing to drive to meet with people who do.

13

My immediate neighborhood is an odd mix of ethnic minority blue-collar families and white-collar single people and young couples. The effects of gentrification, I suppose. I have very little interaction with my neighbors so I don’t really mind either way, but I do prefer living in a neighborhood with access to cultural activities and alcohol. Such neighborhoods tend to be filled with yuppies. Comes with the territory.

14

I was the only Mormon that anyone seemed to know when I lived in the eastern U.S. It didn’t bother me much because, with the exception of a few bigots, most people got over the “no, really? you don’t have horns” stage, then the “1,000 questions stage (which I didn’t mind)”, it was just folks. It was much harder on my children, being the only Mormons in their school, who faced a lot of prejudice. I was fired once by an anti-mormon bigot in Dallas. The settlement check helped.

That is pretty much my situation now - I am the only practicing lawyer within 45 miles of my little rural town filled with mechanics, trona and coal miners, and ranchers. Of course, I grew up here, so I am used to it. Most of the “uneducated locals” are smarter than many of my law school professors, and many of them are very well read and some are very educated. (After all, you can’t get a job at many of the local mines without at least an associate’s degree, and most accepted applicants have at least a bachelor’s.) I sacrificed a lot to live where I do, and wouldn’t change it.

P.S. I know my neighbors well, and get along really well with them.

15

I know none of my current neighbors and don’t care about it. I’ve lived in neighborhoods where I was the only Caucasian, didn’t care then, either.

Now, part of it is that for a number of reasons, even if I were wanting to be more social, I’d still feel isolated even if I were in a neighboorhood entirely of my peers, so take this post with a grain of salt - this is not the view of someone who believes that his view of the world is always healthy.

16

Out of demographic necessity, I have almost always lived in places in which I constitute one kind of minority or the other. There are too many other important variables in choosing where to live – location, transportation, cost, services, crime rates – why should I let such an unimportant factor like race or religion or economic class of my neighbours affect me?

And in modern American society, who interacts much with their neighbours anyway? And whatever interactions are required out of (often unpleasant) necessity – how are they any different if you share some kind of identity variable with the other person?

How exactly do your neighbours affect your life?

17

My fiancé and I live in the Kissimmee area. Our neighborhood is pretty mixed; several different cultures, but most everyone’s white collar and a lot of people have families. The neighbors are nice, and it’s not really monocultural. I’d prefer if the neighborhood was more ethnically mixed and didn’t seem so evenly segregated, as I’m used to living in neighborhoods where you can’t play “paint by numbers” on sections of houses based on which ethnic group lives where. There isn’t a lot of neighbor-to-neighbor interaction in the neighborhood, but everyone who recognizes you as a neighbor is more than willing to lend you a shovel or a ladder if you need to borrow one.

We often drive down to some areas near us to shop (you have to drive to get to any shops where we live) and increasingly often end up being gawked at for not being Hispanic. (This happens in both ethnic stores and run-of-the-mill “there’s one everywhere in the US” stores; we get this reaction the worst at places like Wal-Mart. We dress fairly normally and don’t really stand out much, other than that I’m tall and he’s got facial hair.) Living where we live is fine as long as we don’t get the “you’re not welcome here” look from people, but the ever-changing population seems to be messing with how the economy is functioning and who gets considered for hiring in my area.

18

I mostly lived in urban areas that are suitably diverse that I pretty much blend in as just another 20/30 something white professional dude living in the neighborhood.

When I lived outside of Boston, my neighborhood had a large, mostly Puerto Rican working class community. But it wasn’t like I was even close to being the only non-PR guy on the block. I probably would have rathered lived in the Alston/Brighton area or one of the downtown neighborhoods like Back Bay or Beacon Hill, but my location was cheap, convienient to work and school (neither of which were in the city) and had parking (sparing me from having to save my spot with a folding chair or traffic cone every day).

But to answer the OP, yes I would prefer to live in a neighborhood with my socioeconomic peers.

Well, when I walk down to the local bar for a drink, I’d prefer to drink with other educated professionals. I would rather not be the guy in a suit who shows up to the blue collar bar. I’d like to not be the target of theives because I am more successful than my neighbors, or be the target of my neighbors scorn because I’m less successful. My parents in their suburb do actually socialize with their neighbors from time to time.

Your neighborhood is probably a little more relevant when you live in urban areas like Boston, Philly or New York. You tend to drive less and walk more so it becomes more important to have your interests convieniently close.

19

I do because it’s less than a mile and a half from work and I hate long commutes any more.

20

Not only would I not be bothered, but I fully intend to live in a predominantly Latino neighborhood when we move. I figure that way I’ll get even more Spanish practice. It would be awesome to make friends that ONLY speak Spanish, so that I’d be required to use it whenever we interact.

I might feel a little weird, in the context of any kind of environment, being the only white person or the only middle-class person, but I would get used to it. I feel like I have a wide range of experience living in/around people of different ethnicities and social classes, so I never really feel like an outsider no matter where I’m at.