Now that I’m over the 50-hump, questions like this become pressing to me.
Some people say we tend to get weirder as we get older, that it’s just part of the aging process. But I think we tend to become more authentically who we are, giving our quirks permission to “blossom”.
For example, older people might feel less constrained by norms, and so be more willing to speak their minds. On the other hand I’ve known people with mild OCD tendencies to become ridiculously compulsive as they get older.
Do you think we get weirder or more authentic? Do you think it’s mental maturity or mental decline?
I don’t know if it’s a case of becoming more who we are, but yes, I’ve grown more outwardly odd as I’ve grown older - mostly, I think, becuase inhibitions just get worn down over time - I just care a bit less what other people might think than I used to.
Playing the fool for my young children has also been a contributory factor, I believe.
I dunno – little kids are pretty weird. Maybe it’s sort of a reverse-bell-curve thing where your Weirdness Quotient goes up at either end of your life, and in the middle are the years when you worry about fitting in with people?
All the time my kids were growing up, I had to play the mature, responsible, Dad. Don’t get me wrong, I can be mature and responsible, but I can also be childish and irresponsible when nobody’s looking.
Now that my kids are over 21, there are a lot more times when nobody’s looking.
I have been accused <snort> of having become a “bit” more opinionated since I graduated from college last year at 50. It has been said that I now proudly hold up the sheepskin, and gleefully declare the rest of room to be idiots, and then boundlessly expound upon whatever subject that they need enlightenment on, all free of charge. I am such a giver.
I don’t think it’s true for most people. Fretful Porpentine has a good point, but the bell curve applies to a bell curve of the population - some folks get weirder, some get less weird but the majority essentially stay the same with little variation.
Of course, this all depends on your definition of “weird” I suppose.
I’m inclined to go with it being a matter of letting quirks blossom. I’ve always thought that the phrase “There are no sane people, just lunatics you haven’t gotten to know yet” (or whatever it is) is quite accurate - certainly, people behave more weirdly when you know them well because they have fewer inhibitions to it. It seems to me that deep down, everyone is pretty weird compared to the norm, but the norm is something mostly maintained due to manners, conventions, etc. Not that that’s always a bad thing, of course.
Another random thought that I’ll throw out there: people of different ages are products of different cultures, and are bound to be different in certain ways. If a culture focussed primarily on a certain age group (say, always depicting 20-30 year olds on TV) then people might start thinking of that group as the norm, and so normal behaviour for someone who grew up in the 1950s might seem weird to a lot of people. Honestly though, I don’t think that’s a very good explanation for the OP.
Some older women can become unusually aggressive and consistently hostile in public places. I am sure that all of us have endured it whether we work at a customer service counter or have the misfortune to sit close to one at a restaurant. I can’t say if they were always that way because I didn’t know them but I don’t see many younger females pulling the psycho routine on innocent people.
And this is the best part! But I’ve had to do it with one hand tied behind my back, metaphorically-speaking. Gen-Xers and Ys are dumber than we were at that age.
I have certainly become less inhibited than I used to be. I do care less what others think of the “real” me than I used to. I’m also more accepting of myself.
I also plan on being a stark raving lunatic starting on my 80th birthday. Until then, however, I’m just plain ol’ pathologically unhip. (Who has some weird quality that appeals to 18-25 year old men)
I’m turning 40 in a couple weeks, and I plan to continue getting weirder and weirder with each passing year…
Actually, for me I think it’s a combination of having a better sense of “self”, and being less concerned about other peoples’ opinions. I tend to act the way I feel like acting, and to hell with the rest of you if you don’t like it
Also, I do think that as you get older you do have a moral obligation to keep the younger generation just a bit off balance with your behavior. It keeps 'em honest.
I think this permission to blossom our quirks is the best part of aging, but I wonder if it’s also responsible for many over-50 unmarried people not becoming partnered after this point in life. I mean, my blooming oddities might conflict with your expanding eccentricities.
Another thought: as we become weirder, do we also become more set, more rigid? Is expanding in the same direction truly being flexible?
As at least 90 percent of my family and friends would attest, when I was young it would have been impossible for me to get much weirder.
After geting married and having kids, I tried to some extent to act civilized and pretended to be normal. After the kids grew up, I said “to hell with it” and reverted to my former weirdness. It was a relief.
So, I guess I followed the bell curve too. Fortunately, I never gave a damn what other people thought of me. When people accuse me of being a crotchety old codger, I remind them I used to be a crotchety youngster.
