This might be better suited to GD, but a newspaper article I read today says that recent research shows women tend to form deep and lasting friendships, while men are more likely to make fickle friends over a drink or a frame or two of bowling. Apparently, members of the fairer sex “make deeper and more moral friends” and then stick with them through thick and thin. By contrast, men tend to be more calculating about who they befriend and are likely to base these relationships on social drinking.
Of course women make friends better than men cuz men don’t talk, except about themselves, and who wants to hear about that person only, Woman like to hear about gossip
It’s funny you should say that, because Mrs M wanted to talk at bedtime last night, and it was ten minutes all about her. Women also yak for hours on end about friends of friends and relatives of friends and all manner of things concerning people that the man she is talking to does not know or care about, and think it rude if they don’t get feedback.
A guy friend, on the other hand, will talk about interesting things like cars and RPGs and beer and humorous ways in which people have injured themselves, or will just enjoy a few cold ones without feeling the need to fill up space with inane chatter.
I’ve been a lasting friend to a number of women on the Internet based not on social drinking but my willingness to listen to their problems and offer sympathy and (if it’s asked for) advice.
I think female friendships can often be deeper and more meaningful to the women than male friendships mean to the men involved.
My boyfriend and I were discussing this just the other day and came to the conclusion that it’s all well and good that my friendships are a bigger part of my life than his friendships are to him. I value time spent being with/talking to my girlfriends more than he values time with his fellas. He cares for his just as much, subjectively, as I care for mine, but we care in different ways and want different levels of involvement with our friends.
I’m a teetotal male, so presumably I have no male friends. :smack:
Actually I have at least 7 male friends I have known for over 25 years. We’ve all moved around the country, but keep in touch.
According to my sister, the main difference is how often men and women speak to close friends.
She phones her close friends several times a week and chats about anything at all.
I only phone my close friends to arrange a meeting or tell them I’ve sold a house or something equally significant. We might not speak for a month, but when we do get in touch, we’ll chat for an hour.
I like both. The male friendships are just as strong, so don’t let the lacxk of communication fool you. When I was in trouble, I needed my female friends to listen to me, and my male friends to “escape” with - usually done via drinking, farting, sport-watching, and the occasional monosyllabic grunt.
Many of my female friendships have faltered over the years, because the women involved got too needy or clingy or something. I had one who would get upset if I didn’t call her every evening, then I found out later she had told her other friends that she had to put up with my calls every evening because I was so needy and clingy. WTF? In any event, I haven’t spoken to her for years (still work with her), and it seems to work out well.
In my two current close female friendships, one is a lesbian, and the other is a whole lot older than me, so there’s none of that pesky sexual tension crap. Both women (one through sexuality and both through maturity) have a slightly male attitude towards the friendship - just a touch mind, but it takes away the overly emotional stuff, and it works a charm. I value them both very highly.
I brought this up with my mates tonight at the pub and they all agreed that it is bullshit. Well except for JD, who thinks that women are more loyal in their friendships. I’ll ask his wife Dianne if she agrees next time I’m fucking her.
Who says one kind of friend is better than the other?
My mother’s notion of friendship includes “maintenance work”. Mine doesn’t. Since my notion happens to be more common in my/Dad’s culture than hers, she mentioned many years ago that it must have some kind of value but she just didn’t see it. She saw it when she ran into some old friends from our culture that she’d stopped maintaining and discovered they were still her friends (one such friend, randomly encountered in the street, grabbed the phone, called one of the local dorms, verified they still had space, and sent Mom and Lilbro there).
Heh, reminds me of an online relationship I had where the woman would constantly say how good-looking I was and how much she loved me, far moreso that I would, and would constantly initiate IM’s, again far more than I would, then when she no longer wanted to be my friend she claimed that I was stalking her and crazily obsessed.
The problem with the woman I mentioned there (and several others I have known) is that they require me to constantly revalidate the friendship. Also, an unhealthy amount of the conversation was about the friendship: “Oh, I feel you are my brother! I can tell you anything!” etc.
I don’t like that, except in minute doses.
I like that sort of thing to be mutually understood, but largely unspoken. I’d rather a friend whom I can help or receive help from at 3am if needed, without keeping score. I like to be able to pick up where we left off after an absence (for whatever reason), without any revalidation malarkey.
Oh, tough one. Had you asked me 7 or 8 years ago, I would’ve said no. Men have this vague code of honor and some have an almost romantic appreciation of true friendship (anything from Bros before hoes to brothers in arms).
But my experiences since then showed me that female friends can be just as reliable as their male counterparts. I’ve also realized that I feel more comfortable sharing information about love life, sex and generally opening up emotionally to them since there is no “macho ackwardness” to deal with. I’m sure I’m not the only man whole feels that way.
So, at least in that way, they can make better friends than men.
Re the OP: That’s so weird - in Korea, we have the opposite concept: men are supposed to form lifelong friendships where they become blood brothers while women are more calculating and will not hesitate to claw each other’s eyes out should the occasion arise.
I have close friends that are both women and men. I can talk to each of them about different things, but I feel that it’s more because of an individual personality difference than a gender difference. The one thing we all seems to have in common is something along the lines of what TheLoadedDog was saying - we don’t need to talk about our friendship. It’s understood that if I show up at their door with a corpse, they’re going to help me bury it without wasting precious time gushing about how a true friend is one that helps you hide the body.
I can honestly say, I have never really had a woman “friend” in my life. Especially not a lasting one. Either girlfriends, or nothing. I *strongly *prefer the company of men.
Although right now, the people I hang out with most are women, but they’re my wife’s friends. We know a lot of single women, and few single men. When I meet a couple, I tend to talk with and focus on the man. I still wouldn’t call up one of our women friends and do something with her without my wife.
I’m a woman. My male friends have been better friends to me, over a longer period of time, than any of the women I’ve tried to have a friendship with. As of right now, I have no female friends and half a dozen male friends. My male friends are all happy to talk to me about whatever I need to talk about, plus they can help me fix a lawnmower! Guy friends rock and don’t backstab. IMO, of course.
Having been stabbed in the back by my closest female friend just last night, I’d have to say men make better friends. But it would have been a really close call even without the drama.
Generally, women definitely make better friends. Guys will throw you over for a girl every time. Nearly all of my guy friends virtually disappeared once they got married. (Admittedly that may have a lot to do with how their wife feels about them having female friends.) Before that it was very similar, my guy friends would hang out whenever they didn’t have a girlfriend. I can’t tell you how often that pattern occurs. But the guys that don’t do that can be good friends.
My women friends, on the other hand, would do anything for me, would help me at a moment’s notice, would defend me, comfort me and I know I would do the same for them. On the other hand there are some real backstabbing bitches out there. But I find them to be the exception to the rule.
Classic post!