Men, we have found the key to a Safe Space: a menu dominated by Fatty Meat. 
FWIW my anecdotal experience is that the lady who was our office Legal Counsel, during a visit to Austin, spoke quite, um, passionately about the brisket.
And from my own travels, why yes, I can definitely see how Greater KC is the place where you’d find BBQ in a “fine dining” context.
Men typically like meat more than women, and women typically like sweets more than men. Combine that with the cultural association of BBQ with masculinity*, and you have BBQ places with a lot more men than women. Just as somebody trying to make a woman happy will give her a box of chocolates, rather than a steak.
I don’t know what to say.
I love BBQ. I ate so much of it on our cross country trip a few years ago. Everywhere from Jack’s Stack in Kansas City to Hog Heaven (a shack near Vanderbilt University) to Top’s in Memphis, and many others.
I think Hilarity N. Suze nails it when she says in any group of women you’re going to have at least one on a diet and/or one who’s a veggie. It’s the case for me when I go out with some of my friends. We end up someplace where everyone can find something to eat.
Excellent choice - Jack’s is probably my favorite restaurant in the world. I live in Indianapolis now, and hit up Jack’s whenever I’m in town.
As for your initial question - of course. My wife’s firm has a KC office, and whenever on a business trip will insist they order in BBQ, and she can list off at least 4 different KC BBQ joints, along with what they’re known for in case someone has something specific they like.
That got me slightly interested, and I googled around a bit. Statistically anyway, the OP has got it a bit backwards – it isn’t that women aren’t eating meat (including barbecue) they just aren’t over-eating it. We associate meat with masculinity, strength, power, and partly because of this, men eat a lot more of it than women do. 57% more. Other possible reasons include males’ relative lack of cooking skills.
Women eat approximately the government-recommended amount of protein, but men far exceed it, with not just meat but also dairy and eggs. It’s unhealthy, wasteful, and of course, terrible for the planet.
By the way, I like barbecue, but not barbecue joints. It’s like picnicking shabbily indoors with strangers and loud ugly sounds.
Most barbecue joints I’ve been to have a sweet little old lady with a pad who asks, “What do you want, Honey?”
The only place I miss from South Carolina is a place called Sticky Fingers. I’d crawl across a field of broken glass for a plate of their dry rub.
By the way, barbecue is pork, not beef. Anyone who tells you differently is a heathen. So there. You’re not going to change my mind on this.
Some women love barbecue, others like it less.
More women than men don’t eat meat. That doesn’t mean barbecued corn and eggplant aren’t delicious. But that’s not the usual menu.
More women are conscious of healthy eating and weight management than men. Barbecue is a very healthy form of cooking, but the typical heavy, sugary sauces and greasy sides need to be modified to be healthy.
More women are conscious of not wanting messy face and fingers. I guess. Few barbecues offer fingerbowls. Probably for the good.
Women love not having to cook. Barbecue is a primitive form of cooking, very easy to learn and do. Even do well. So men take control and take it too seriously (often with lots of rules that don’t necessarily help; beans are healthy regardless of your crazy-rigid opinions on chili). But not seriously enough. Canadian barbecue is amateur compared to Argentina, South Africa or the US South.
I once attempted ribs with a knife and fork. It did not last long.
The Church of Barbecue has many schisms. Before taking communion, one should always find out what denomination one’s guests practice.
Northern women like it too. We even smoke our own and make our own sometimes!
I love it. I chose to have barbecue for my birthday party yesterday as a matter of fact. We went to One and Only BBQ in Memphis. They have really good brisket. I had a pork bbq sandwich (slaw IS greenery right?) with beans and fries to dip in the bean juice. My kids had thick slab sausage sandwiches and we all shared bites of the brisket with my roommate. Very smokey and tender. Pecan pie was chosen for my birthday dessert!
Last week we went to Stax Pancakes and I had the Memphis BBQ omelet. It was pretty good but I could have had the meat and left the egg out… but then of course it wouldn’t be an omelet.
My favorite pizza topping in barbecue pork or chicken. I don’t know if Jet’s is a big chain but they make a good one, very generous with the meat.
Maybe it’s just not someplace you’d take a date to, so you can both avoid getting sauce and grease all over?
I don’t know - my husband and I go out for BBQ all the time, but then again, we’ve been married more than 15 years, so he’s seen me in circumstances that make a little sauce on my chin seem more than tame.
But back when we were dating, he usually took me someplace that had wine and tablecloths, though I secretly preferred the Indian buffet or the local fast-ish food joint that had waffle gogi (which is a mashup of Mexican & Korean - they serve waffle fries and spicy Korean-style BBQ pork covered in cheese and kimchi, and it’s heaven).
Men generally do not enjoy cooking unless it is physically dangerous.
That sounds awesome. We need to try more Korean bbq.
Oh, yeah, Korean BBQ is awesome. And spicy, acid-y kimchee is the perfect accompaniment. At most typical American BBQ places the sides are often as heavy and greasy as the meat, and it’s so one note. I can’t eat it more than once or twice a year. I eat it, and I just don’t crave it again for a loooooooong time.
One’s guests are getting pork, if one’s guests know what is good for them.
Just snorted so hard that I got coffee up my nose. I’ll be smelling everything today with an overlay of coffee and vanilla syrup. Hope you’re happy !!! :D:D:D
I’m another man who has never liked BBQ.
My friends and family are aghast.
My work here is done.
My wife loves BBQ! If you get between her and a plate of ribs, it’d be advisable to have your life insurance paid up. 