How old is your niece? At a certain point you should be able to teach her (prove to her mathematically, even) that Tic-Tac-Toe is a game that should always end in a tie, unless someone (intentionally or not) makes a mistake. It’s a flow chart logic tree that fits on a single sheet of paper.
Disclaimer: I once lost at Tic-Tac-Toe to a chicken in an arcade booth because I was sure the chicken was not playing optimally, and that after three straight ties, I could “bluff” it for a win. But it was, and I could not, and I lost. To a chicken.
Yeah, I beat children. Also my husband, every chance I get. We’re talking table tennis here. One notable Thanksgiving I beat my husband and my three oldest sons becoming the winner of The Cup. (A Wile E. Coyote cup, with a loooong nose.)
But as to my children, I did not smash them. Nor did I let them get way ahead and then refused to allow them a point until I won. Or spot them 17 points and then play my top game. (This was back in the 21 point days.) I did spot them a few points, at times, and I played just better enough to stay on top. Or I played left-handed. In this way they were able to pick up a few points so they weren’t completely demoralized. And they got better with every game.
I showed my husband no mercy. Get better or get out.
You know, if it’s a three-year-old playing a Barbie board game whose rules are kinda questionable to begin with, that’s different. Nor did we play Cuthroat Candyland.
Exactly. And sometimes the best teaching methods are to both win and lose when playing your kids- showing them how certain ways of play turn out is instructive without just hammering your little ones relentlessly at whatever game it is.
Mine are older now but I never deliberately lost. But I also tailored my play to make it competitive. Some times, depending on the game, that would mean never taking the best move. Other times it might mean giving advise. Or making all my moves super quickly. Or taking a turn or two off.
They would still have to stretch themselves to beat me.
I pick fights and beat the shit out of them relentlessly for as long as time will allow to show them who’s the fucking king around here
…besides running up the score on NHL 2020!
Letting someone win at Tic-Tac-Toe/Noughts and Crosses isn’t doing them any favor. The game is simple (one might say chilldishly simple) and is a solved game in which perfect play by both players results in a draw. A better choice, IMHO, is to play Pentago (objective is to get a 5-in-a-row, and is played on board you twist after you place your stone) or Chung Toi (same objective as Tic-Tac-Toe but each player only has three pieces, moves one piece per move and may rotate the piece at the end of the move to determine which direction piece may move on player’s next turn). Pentago is a solved game (first player win), but it requires a lot more memorization than Tic-Tac-Toe to get there. I’m not having any luck at the moment finding out if Chung Toi is solved.
My father taught me how to play Chess and his theory on gaming was that one should play to win each time. I didn’t mind it because he was not a sore winner. Also, he explained the system of handicaps for Chess and other games. Although he I soon got good enough to beat him far more often than not, Dad’s demeanor stayed the same: good opponent, good play, be a good winner and a good loser, always being sportsmanlike.
I try to help, but if that doesn’t work - yeah. My last time playing a game with a kid was with one of my cousin’s 10-year old. We were playing a card game and he kept complaining about his hand. I explained that it wasn’t his hand, but how he was playing it. We even swapped hands a few times, and I would win and explain how I used his cards to my advantage. His take? Swap hands with me when he got bad cards, even though he was losing either way.
I think it’s important for kids to see what losing should look like. Letting them win, where appropriate, allows them to see the adult behaviour of the loser. So they learn what lamenting a loss SHOULD look and sound like. It can be animated, arms may be thrown in the air, etc. But it’s not screaming, crying or storming off! It’s good natured ish, some jokey braggery perhaps, but in the end everyone moves smoothly along to whatever may be next, without high drama hopefully.
Good ideas in this thread, like starting a chess game with a handicap, and playing games like chess or scrabble by choosing your move more quickly than you would normally.
I’ve started playing a bit of chess with my 6 year old for fun. Of course I beat him. But I look at our games as more instructional. Like I tell him why I’m making the moves I’m making and talk through his various options. For the most part he grasps the game. He knows how the pieces move, understands why the queen is more powerful than the rooks and castles which are more powerful than the pawns. He also grasps using pieces to cover other pieces and control parts of the board.
The only downside is he’s six, so we have to finish the game before he gets bored and wants to watch Lego Ninjago.
My rule is if they fully understand the rules and object of the game, and some understanding of strategy, I’ll play to win. Before that, I’m teaching instead of playing.
One of my nephews learned early that his aunt and uncle were not going to let him win like his parents. This made him frustrated, but he’s that competitive type and he learned to play better for the next time. Now, ten years after getting smoked at Connect Four as a toddler, he’s a youth sports superstar (championships and MVPs in football and basketball).
Another nephew (cousin of the above) would only become a whiny brat. I wild go beyond my normal tolerance of hissy fits to try to teach him ways to play better, to no avail. He’s become a class-A fuckup. (Pardon my French)
Now my own son is old enough to start playing competitive games. I’m trying to guage his understanding of new games while fostering healthy competitiveness, as well as figuring out his attention span.
