Do you call your in-laws by their first names or not?

Hi, me and my wife call our parents in law by their first names. Do you call them that as well or do you call them Mr. and Mrs. X or dad and mum?

To their face, their first names. Behind their backs, their first names. In private, their first names.

Except my MIL. Just between me and me I call her my Osama-In-Law, because she’s pure evil and has a beard.

I think - I’ve mostly blocked this - that my MIL asked me to call her “Belle Mere.” No, she’s not French. She’s Mexican. She also tends (between us) towards the sheer eveel side of things. I try not to call her anything.

I call my FIL and my husband’s step-mother by their first names.

My husband calls my parents by their first names.

I think one of the nicest things my parents did was tell my fiance what they preferred he call them. My grandmother never did and my mom never called her by any name at all for forty years.

Yep. They like it that way, and I like it when they call me by my first name too. Big happy family!

I’ve never considered calling them anything other than their first names. I mean, it’s their names. What else should I can them?

My husband uses my parents first names, seems natural and everyone is happy with it. I tend to go between first name and Mom for my mother-in-law, his father died years before I was in the picture. I have a wonderful MIL and a close relationship with her, sometimes it just feels natural to Mom her instead of first-naming her, but it’s not as if she ever expressed a preference.

I’m not married, but have been living in sin with the GF for a long time. I call her parents by their first names, and she does the same to mine. Maybe if we’d hooked up at a younger age it would have been different, but since we were both in our forties when the relationship began, anything else would have just seemed too weird.

My Mother is “Pat” to everyne and so that is what my Wife calls her.

My inlaws moved three states away about ten years ago. My Wife talks to them, I do not. My Father in Law is a racist asshole and my Mother in Law is a dishrag. I was civil to them for years, but when the FiL “disowned” our older daughter for dating a black man (he never knew about any of the girls she dated) I had the excuse to break off all contact with him.

My Wife understands that I will not tolerate anyone disrespecting my daughters.

I call my inlaws the equivalent of Mr. and Mrs. X and Y in Chinese. I don’t even call my wife by her first name. Either her full name or the equivalent of “loved one” in Chinese. The latter is more formal and less affectionate than it sounds.

No way. It would just seem wrong. Like calling your own parents by their names.

In most Asian families it’s Not Done to call the elder generation by their first names. I would never dream of it.

Me, I have managed to avoid calling them anything for twenty years. When I write thank you cards it’s all “Mr. & Mrs.” or if he writes the card, it’s Mom and Dad. But I don’t call them Mom and Dad. A), we are not married, and B), even if we were, they aren’t my mom and dad. I had a plethora of moms (adopted, bio, and an aunt who was pretty close to one) and while none of them were that great, I’ve already had plenty.

I bet I can make it through the rest of my life without officially calling them anything.

Sure. First names.

My BIL however, has to call his MIL/FIL Mrs… and Mr… Seems really, really wrong and way, way too formal.

I call my father-in-law Pappy or Dad. My husband calls my parents Gram and Skipper, which are their preferred grandparent names.

My parents alternated between M&D and first names for my grandparents. My sons-in-law alternate between Mom and my first name, and they both call my hubby by his first name since he is the girls’ stepdad.

I don’t mind being called by my first name, although it seems a little weird to me. Since inlaws are your parent-equivalents, shouldn’t you use the same form of address as their children do? I’d be a little uncomfortable calling my inlaws Bob and Marge or whatever.

When I was growing up all adults were Mr. and Mrs. I had one friend whose parents wanted to be called Phyllis and Eddie and were kind of insulted if you called them Mr/Mrs. I just couldn’t do it so I didn’t call them anything. I still call my parents’ friends Mr and Mrs.

On the other hand my kids grew up calling my sister and friends by their first names, so that’s more normal for them.

That sounds a bit passive aggressive by your mom. Seriously, they were both adults, and even if your grandmother never voiced a preference, your mom could have just chosen calling her something that she was comfortable with.

I call them by their first names, at their request, though it feels disrespectful to me. I would much rather call them Mr. & Mrs Lastname. Spouse calls my parents by their first names and they’re all happy with that.

I call my in-laws by their first names. They both introduced themselves to me by their first names. I am friends with both of them, have vacationed with them, etc. So calling them by their surnames would be weird to me.

I don’t adhere to too much formality unless it’s requested or would be major faux pas to not do it. As an example, I know all of my doctors fairly well and see them in social settings. As such I call of my doctors by their first names, and not their Dr. titles.

I call my FIL by his first name only, because he can be rather unpleasant. If he weren’t their father, his own kids wouldn’t want anything to do with him.

MIL, I use her first name, or call her mom (or Mom-2, Mom-B) mostly because she likes it.

Oh, Jesus titty-fucking Christ! No! I’m still happy her dad hasn’t shot me for sleeping with their daughter. I’ve gotten away with it for more than twenty years!

Humor aside, no. There’s just something about that guy, and his father. They are of a certain demeanor where only a foolish person in their presence would deny them the respect they appear to deserve. I have seen persons draw their ire, and I know I don’t want to be one of them. So when we talk, they are supplied whatever honorifics which would be applicable. When they’re not present, I usually describe them by relation to my wife. Yes, this demeanor did rub off on my dear to some extent. It is fortunate that I am normally diplomatic and polite.

Probably for being hard headed, they apparently refer to me as Copernicus when I am not present.

I can live with it. It beats Roy Rogers, Banshee Indian, Lumpkin, and Encyclopedia Brown; which girlfriends and family members have all used to address me.

My wife has pet names for her parents, so I used them. Great compromise between first names and Mom and Dad, which were my parents.