I find “passive aggressive” is to “politely assertive” as “b****, c***, K****” is to “uppity woman who disagrees with me”. People should be assertive, and being polite will get you far, even when it’s not mandatory.
I learned from philosophy class that, before any discussion, there has to be an agreement on the meaning of what is being discussed. This is what I found:
Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. There’s a disconnect between what a person who exhibits passive-aggressive behavior says and what he or she does.
I don’t think one can just seize upon one offhand comment, manufacture a sinister meaning for it, and then triumphantly label it, “passive aggressive behavior”. Unfortunately, that is what is done in far too many cases.
I would agree with this. I think there are different reasons why people may act in a passive-aggressive manner: some may think they are just being polite by not directly expressing a criticism; others may be doing it intentionally as a subtle dig.
Whatever the intention, being passive-aggressive is always a negative, and unlike some people may think, being openly aggressive is not the opposite. Expressing oneself clearly and directly is the opposite of passive-aggressiveness.
Agreed. However, if someone says, “no problem”, that may be exactly what they mean. To arbitrarily assign a negative interpretation to it out of hand and label it as passive aggressive is unfair and wrong. I think the word, “pattern”, is the key. A person who has a passive aggressive personality and/or communication style reveals himself because it is a pattern of behavior.