I’m 50 and I still have my house key from when I was a kid. But I would just never dream of taking something out of my dad’s house without his permission. If it was an emergency, I’d leave a note or something, but I’d never assume what’s his is mine (or vice versa).
Shit, man, I’ll let 'em use my stuff too! 
Here’s a guideline that I’ve never found to be innaccurate: If you have to wonder “Is this stealing?”, it is.
It’s kind of a cross between telling and asking with my kids and my daughter-in-law. “Hey Mom, I see you have several cans of pineapple juice, can I have one?” If for some reason they need something (usually some food or household supplies) and I’m not home, they leave a note. This kind of thing does happen too often and doesn’t bother me at all. They are my kids for life.
If they took stuff and left no note I’d consider it rude, but I have to admit I still wouldn’t consider it stealing.
When my parents were alive, I used to never take stuff from them, even when they pushed things on me. My other siblings had no such qualms; they would regularly walk out of the house with things (fine china, silverware, included). :mad:
Whenever Mom & Dad took a trip somewhere, I always knew that one of them would park their cars in our parents driveway and be driving either Mom’s or Dad’s or both cars around all week like joy-riders, leaving it/them in the driveway the day before my parents they were scheduled to return with an empty gas tank and all the change for tolls taken out of the ashtray. :mad: :mad: :mad:
Oh, Please Og Tell Me I Din’t Just Type “my parents they”! :smack: :smack: :smack:
Oh that’s it…I quit. I’m not having a good day, people.
leaves thread quickly
I probably wouldn’t mind my *anyone * helping themselves to my pantry, as long as they asked. It’s the **asking ** that makes it not stealing.
That said, I can’t imagine raiding my dad’s pantry. Now, that may be partly because I can’t imagine my dad’s pantry fully stocked, but it’s also partly because I don’t see the point. If I need something, I can stop at the grocery store on my way home.
Different philosophies definitely make a difference. My father always had a “what’s mine is ours” way of thinking, and I was free to do things like grab some quarters off his bedroom dresser if I needed a bit of cash for lunch or whatever. When he remarried his wife was abhorred that I did this and called me a thief. She also doesn’t allow me in the house when they are not home. Needless to say, the change was a bit of a shock.
Come to think of it, I don’t guess I’ve ever seen someone walk out of a house holding a roll of toilet paper before. At least you know where they were going, that they weren’t like headed off to the woods with it or something.
I can’t imagine having pilfered items prom my parents without asking first, even though they were extremely supportive in all regards. Just doesn’t seem quite right to not at least mention it to them. It’s a home, not a warehouse.
I agree totally with the comfort level premise. I take what I need without asking from my parent’s house, my son does the same to both me and his grandparent’s house. It is how we work. It isn’t stealing, it is the way we do things. Everything the other person has belongs to anyone that needs it. However, I would hate to be on the other side of the phone call if I took the last stick of butter she needed for a dinner party. I would be running out as fast as my car can carry me to get her a new one.
This past weekend I mentioned that I needed a hook to hang some purses in my closet and my mother asked if I had perused her garage before I decided to go shopping.
That being said, if it annoys your neighbor, they do not have the comfort level that encourages this kind of behavior so she needs to speak up if she doesn’t like it.
Dit-fucking-to.
I am quite close with my parents, they live close by, and I frequently go in on my own to pick up or drop off items. I have been known to take a book off the shelf and tell my mom later that I borrowed it. But I would never just take food or consumables without asking; that strikes me as just rude. (OK, anything larger than a cookie from an open package. A cookie from an open package is fine with me.)
I wouldn’t do it, with the exception of something that belonged to me when I lived at home (my books and stuff like that) that I was pretty sure they weren’t using.
Of course, I live far enough from my parents that I have to fly to get there, and bothering with taking toilet paper, canned food, etc in my carry-on or checked luggage just seems like way too much of a hassle for the value of those items, anyway.
Well, I would never begrudge someone a roll of TP, 'cus when you gotta go, you gotta go.
That being said, I certainly never took ANYTHING from my parent’s house when they still lived here. I suppose when I was growing up my mom had and absolute fucking hissy fit if I even borrowed her hairspray, so I guess I never really got the idea to help myself to their stuff.
Now that they live in a different province when I’m visiting I stock the fridge and pantry to offset how much of a shwank I am.
Just helping yourself to other people’s stuff seems kind of obnoxious, even if they are your parents. YMMV and all that.
Me too. Or one of the peanut butter cups from the bowl o’ peanut butter cups. That’s what they’re there for.
I wouldn’t mind. I imagine they’d ask, if I was home. but if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t care if they just took some staple-type item. It wouldn’t occur to me to mind, or to think of this as stealing.
My own parents live 2 miles away, BTW, and we frequently borrow back and forth. And, if they are out of town and I need something I’ll just go over and get it – I have their keys. Same for them, if I’m away from my house – they just come in and get whatever they need from my place.
But we’re pretty easy going in my family. In fact, me and my husband borrowed my parent’s whole house for a few days last time they were out of town. There was a power outage this summer that lasted 2 days, but my folk’s house got power restored quickly (they are on the same line as several gas stations, and they always get their power restored quickly). Mom and Dad were en route to California at the time, so Kevin and I just packed up our stuff and moved over there until our power came back on. I didn’t call and ask them first, either. Next time Mom called to check in, I just told her where we were and what was up. They didn’t care – neither would we, if the situation had been reversed. What’s the board opinion on that?
No sweat. We would do the same in my family.
Unless this is an understanding with your parents, and they don’t mind, your siblings are acting like pieces of crap.
We don’t take from each other in my family without asking. No one would ever begrudge anyone else something they needed, but the taking without asking - not done.
My brother gave me a key to his house years ago, I think I’ve only used it once when they weren’t home. He lives in Ca. and I live in Wa. I might help myself to something to eat, maybe take a shower, wash some clothes, but I wouldn’t help myself to other things w/o asking and offering to pay, and I mean seriously offering to pay, not just a gesture.