I met her when we were 15. We were very much in love.
A couple of years later circumstances intervened and we were forced to be apart. We kept in touch on and off for several years, but went separate ways.
When we were 30 circumstances brought us together again. It turned out we were still in love. That was the best summer of my life.
She died that September. That was 16 years ago. I still see her beautiful smile in my minds eye, hear her shy laugh, feel her in my arms.
It’s strange in that my first love is my password in a couple accounts, since it’s easy to remember without being something that could obviously connect to me. Still, even though I type her name every day, it’s a habit thing to the point that I don’t really think about her (or “us”) very often.
Its been 11 years… but I feel haunted by her sometimes because she was the one “I let get away”.
I think about her often, she often pops into my head for no reason or into my dreams. I would have to say that a month hasn’t gone by that I haven’t thought about her at least once.
We don’t keep in touch but I know the loss is mine not having her in my life in some fashion.
Yep. All the time. But I take some petty comfort in the fact that she is 40 now and my wife is 27 and my life is far better than it ever could have possibly been with her.
I think about her pretty often, even though I’ve seen her only once in the past 25 years. I’ve even cited her work on this board.
Even though I was in love with her, we were never an ‘item’. OTOH, for one very intense and wonderful year, we had one of the best and closest friendships of my life. If I live another 50 years, I’m sure I’ll still think about her from time to time.
I’m still friendly with her, especially since Mrs. KVS and I are close with her and her husband. We all go out socially, visit each other, and our kids play with each other and even go to the same school. I don’t think about our “relationship” of years ago, though. (I met her in junior high, and in fact, I introduced her to a friend of mine when I was junior in high school and she was a sophmore. This friend happens to be her husband.)
I see her every time I visit my brother and sister in law. She is my sister in law’s sister and her and her current husband are living with my bro and SIL.
And to really make this confusing, my first wife is the younger sister of my SIL and FL.
Just recently in fact. The thought that crossed my mind of what it would be like to have all the exes at my wedding was met with mixed reviews in my mind.
35 years and yes. Found out about 5 years ago she still held the same feelings for me. We both saved all the little things we gave each other. I was satisfied with the thought that she was happy all those years but it turns out she wasn’t. But family and marriage commitments were enough to maintain the status quo so I’m left with a bitter sense of loss. I remember the last time I held and kissed her as if it were yesterday. It’s an extraordinary feeling of contentment that never goes away.
This is a zombie thread but interestingly enough timely.
My first real boyfriend and I had some compatibilities I have never shared with anyone since. No not sex, it was a profound love of books. A deep abiding passion for books, finding a new used book store and walking in and smelling the mustyness of out of print paperbacks. I usually think of him when I discover a new used book store. Some of my happiest moments in my late teens/early twenties were stretched out on a bed or a couch, lying next to him, each of us lost in our own worlds of books, but still together.
I searched for him once, when Facebook started, but I didn’t find him. I found a new to me used book store the other day and looked him up on Facebook, no hits, did a tweak or two, and did find him. His screen page is pretty much locked down, but there is enough that I can tell it is him (he’s living in the USA which is a surprise, although he did have dual Canadian-US citizenship) I don’t see a mention of spouse or girlfriend, and now I am wondering if I should send him a friend invite.
I am in a happy relationship, not looking to change the status quo, he is on the other side of the continent, but sometimes I miss him. Things mostly ended because we were young and going in different directions, but there was a bit of messiness at the end that makes me pause.
I sound like I am 12, but he was my best friend for three years of my university life. Is it wrong to want to access memories from that time once in a while?
I think of past girlfriends and relationships from time to time, occasionally in a sexual sense (everybody has their own special talent, it seems), but more often in a “hey, I remember the last time I was here; it was with [so-and-so]”.
But I think of my first love every day, having married her.
The great thing about the internet (or the curse, not sure which) is that you can see what those past loves and crushes are up to.
That cute girl in high school French class that I thought was the most beautiful person on earth: turned out to be a flaming right winger with terminal Obama derangement syndrome.
That girl I cooked with in the dorm cafeteria that I hung out with but was hopelessly in love with: turned out to be a Methodist pastor. Wow.
That other girl I cooked with and should have gone after: still cute and had served in the Peace Corps and has checked out my Classmates profile several times. Rats. What the hell was I thinking in college?
That girl I dated after college who lost her job and moved on: finally married an ugly bald gap-toothed goomer in 2001. Not nearly as cute as I remembered.
I think about them all often, mostly to think “there but for the grace of God…”
Turns out I did exactly that for mine (after asking here first if it was a good idea, tho some thought I was an idiot), found out that she had a concert she was giving (not her day job), went to see her play (utterly enchanting), had a nice chat afterwards (but nothing deep), but nothing happened beyond that (guarded she was, don’t blame her tho), and we’ve gone our separate ways once again (pretty sad, but what can you do). Sometimes you simply can’t go home again-just appears that we had grown apart too much in the interim-I know for my part I am light-years removed from the sad, lost soul I was when she knew me well years ago. <shrug>
Frighteningly, it’s been almost twenty years for me, too. I do think of him, (sorry, I’m a girl and thus breaking the laws of the OP), but not always fondly or with affection.
Why did you break up?