Do you feel a necessity to be a “credit to your race”? (Or religion, culture, sex, sexual orientation, etc.) I ask because a friend of mine was recently called on the carpet by his partner because he was allegedly perpetuating a stereotype of gay behavior. My friend replied that he felt no responsibility to have to “act straight” to further acceptance of gays in general. Another friend who is black told me that she doesn’t listen to rap music at all, because she’s afraid it’s too closely associated with gangs.
So… do you find that you ever second-guess your own nature, or examine your own behavior or habits to ensure that you are rising above a stereotype?
LifeOnWry, good question you have. When I still had enough youth at my church coming to Sunday School, there were times I told them about the stupidity of getting drunk. Six years ago, at a Mardi Gras parade, I very VERY stupidly consumed four large daiquiris in a night on a nearly empty stomach. Was sick for five days and except for a cousin’s wedding last April, I hadn’t had alcohol in six years.
To answer your question, I do see it as my responsibility as a Christian NOT to do things like getting drunk when other people look up to you. It doesn’t make me “square”; it’s just that I learned rather quickly that stupid behavior results in little benefit.
I don’t normally feel the need to be a good representative of any of the little categories of person into which I may be grouped. If my actions match those of the stereotypical whatever, then so be it.
I do, however, remember being overseas one time with a real jerk whom I was embarassed to be associated with because he was such a terribly rude, stupid, ignorant, arrogant, and insensitive ugly American.
Mostly, though, I’m happy with me and I don’t really worry about whether I’m conforming to the behavioral stereotypes of “my kind,” whatever “my kind” happens to pertain to (age, race, sex, sexual orientation, or whatever).
Um, exception: I’m a man who tries to act manlier than I am at certain movies by trying not to get all teary eyed. Of course, there I’m acting all stoical so that I look good, not so that other people will think my group (in this case men) looks good.
Not really. After years of carefully examining my motives and reactions, I’ve come to terms with just being myself no matter the situation or place. It does help that I was raised in a an environment that wouldn’t be considered racist (though definately sexist).
I think men have the short end of the stick on this one. There is the whole idea of manliness to uphold. Though Mr. Toes unabashedly cries at movies, TV shows and Phone commercials. It’s one of the reasons I love him.
Just to take this a step further conversationally, how AWARE are you when you do something that could be considered stereotypical for your “group” - whatever group that may be? And if you are aware of this, do you wonder if people are mentally pigeonholing you because of that?
With respect to your question: I do (being asian in a predominantly white country).
It is the prerogative of the majority to be seen primarily as an individual; if you are not part of the majority any bad actions you do will often be connected to your minority. I’ve been taught it works like that, and I see that confirmed whenever I read the newspapers. I find it sad, but that’s the way things work, at present at least.
I also hate being pigeonholed. I was proficient in math, which - guess what - was automatically connected to my being of a specific ‘race’, instead of my own talent. I hated fitting the stereotype. Luckily nowadays I’m in a completely different subject. Sometimes I wonder, though, if I’d have made different choices in life if I’d been white.
I still actively dislike the stereotypical images of asians in Western culture, though. There have been a few threads on that subject on this board, but frankly I wasn’t very pleased with the way they turned out. Therefore I won’t go into that subject any further.
To avoid any misunderstandings: I am not blaming anyone for being inclined to think in stereotypes. I’m all too aware that I’m prone to do the same thing myself. But that doesn’t mean that it is a good thing that I or anyone else does this.
BTW there have also been threads on this subject with respect to ‘Afro-American culture’. I remember in particular monstro eloquently putting forward the position that I agree with. However, she had much trouble getting her point across as well. So don’t expect me to go into a deep debate here; it will only end in tears.
I am obviously not Chinese, and have long ago learned the lesson that many people can take away from a very limited and superficial contact just exactly how foreigners or Americans act. If I lose my temper, don’t turn red from drinking too much, give money to beggars, ad nauseum, there will be people that take away an impression.
Sometimes I bite my tounge or do follow my natural inclination. Hell I did that growing up in my father;s church as well.
I very much understand what you’re saying, Tusculan, and also understand your desire not to turn this into Great Debates. Be assured I did not hope to start a debate, but in the hopes of eradicating some of my own ignorance, I would like the opportunity to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, at least mentally.
Because I’m not in any really visible “minority” (unless being female counts, which it probably does) my own experiences don’t give me a whole lot to work with. Oh, I’ve had my temper put down to my being Italian, and I’ve been told I throw like a girl, but getting pissed about that sort of thing would be pretty petty of me, considering. I also don’t think I’m all that aware of my own prejudices sometimes, and may be acting on them unwittingly. Your example of the Asian math whiz is a perfect one, as is jellytoes’s mention of the “big boys don’t cry” thing.
Being on the opposite side of the fence (white in a predominantly asian country), I’m pretty much in agreement with your entire post. There’s a predominant stereotype of how ‘foreigners’ behave, and even though I may not be able to change it (hell, just this past weekend one of my own neighbors took her kids up the stairs rather than ride in the same elevator with me), I still make a conscious effort to avoid it.
Basically, what I want is someday to be able to screw something up and hear “boy, that Sublight’s a royal fuckup” rather than “oh well, he’s just a gaijin.”
I work in a field which Requires me to know and be cognizant of how I appear to others around me. I’m an archaeologist for a large “Big Company X” in Boston. I travel all over the world to different sites. I meet people from all walks of life. From Inuit in the archtic to nomads in northern china. I often wear very neutral colors, khaki’s, greys, browns…and I walk and talk in a very non-threatening manner. When I travel I routinely get the question, “Which country are you from…” I may be of caucasian decent and reside in America but I do not portray an outwardly American persona.
I find some very interesting common traits in people all over the world. When we go to a site and people see we are not carrying guns, or are asking questions and not barking orders…we universally get treated with respect. On the off occasion we have an armes escort, they are always ordered to be in the background and not with the leam leaders. This is on purpose.
So your question is a good one, do people really recognize when they are making outwardly unappealing gestures or mannerisms to other cultures. Unfortunately, I have seem many people making mistakes…in some cases it costs them dearly.
Sometimes I wonder, though, if I’d have made different choices in life if I’d been white.