There isn’t one level surface in the whole house. The stove. The counters. The refrigerator shelves. Everything falls over and rolls off all the time…And socks disappear. I don’t care about my own as I have a lifetime supply, but Mr. Sali has special thick wool socks for his Princess-and-the-Pea feet. Only four pairs, which means I have to keep up with the laundry all the time - no spares - so if one of his Special Socks disappears, there is great scrambling and rending of garments in the morning until I “find” one (a used one, in the laundry basket - I brush off any dust and quick iron it flat so it looks ‘clean’).
I have no problem with inanimate objects trying to escape. If they really love me, they’ll come back.
Hmmm… I expect the objects will know that we’ve been comparing notes. It’s the one thing they don’t want. Retaliatory strikes will probably increase. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Oh jeez yes! I drop something (about a thousand times a day, by the way), bend down and pick it up, drop it again. Pick it up, drop it again.
Stop trying to escape!!
I’m surrounded by an anti-plasnetic 
field which repels all attempts to hold on to bottle caps. I swear to god all 10 of my fingers turn to thumbs when I’m opening a bottled beverage. Then the cap scatters under my bed or under my desk or even out the door.
They’re doing it on purpose, I’m sure of it.
Ah, escapee food. The other day I got a little bag of Cheez-Its. I opened it in the standard way, but either I don’t know my own strength, or those little buggers were planning an escape. Before I knew it the bag was in two and I had a yellow desk.
I have solved The Sock Problem by wearing only one style/color of sock 98% of the time. Every once in a while it behooves me to wear dress socks, but otherwise, I always wear black Maggie’s organic cotton socks. I probably have 12 pairs of these socks, so I don’t care if one get eaten by the dryer beastie.
Note that using this method of sock acquisition, you never need to mate your socks. Just grab any two!
And if you’re in the bathroom when something manages to squirm its way out of your hand (especially if it’s a toothbrush or hairbrush) it will always dive for the floor behind the toilet so you’re forced to kneel down and reach around the toilet and then you either have to boil or throw out the item thus securing their release into the great outdoors.
No buy they often try to kill me.
Wow, I had no idea this kind of thing was so widespread. Kind of creepy. Here’s my thing: When I am pulling any sort of cable, be it the vacuum cord, extension cord, a garden hose–it doesn’t matter what–it will catch on something. The thing it catches on will not be in a direct line from me and the source, it will have to reach outside that line to snag. A hose will catch on something 1/8" off the ground and a yard away from the drag trajectory. I know, this doesn’t qualify as an “escape” necessarily, more as stubborn resistance. But it happens with uncanny frequency.
If a scientist is discussing this sort of thing he will label it “Entropy” if nobody stops him. See below:
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/833/entropy.gif/
Ny Father had a theory about this. He called it “The Malevolence of the Inanimate”.
This is *very *disturbing.
He was obviously very wise and not afraid to see the world as it truly is. 
The inanimate objects are out to get me. The damned things are so disobedient.
I don’t have bad days, they have naughty days.
I sometimes feel the same way when I drop something (usually electronic components) and it ends up far from where I would expect it to be found. Or I put something down and never find it again (or not for a long time). In particular, pencils, so I keep several with the idea that it is unlikely that all of them will be lost at once (works pretty well; they usually end up in component boxes so i find them when I access one).
Yes.
I suppose this week it could be about my face cream (where the hell does a jar of face cream roll off too?)and two sets of housekeys gone missing, no worries, Im sure they’ll turn up some day next week
but it’s not.
It’s about the wild animal on the prowl, that yowled and woke up a household. But it wasn’t the cats, they heard the growls too. We turned on the lights and peered outdoors, nothing, so we went back to bed.
the next morning, the inaninmate objects told the story…
lions off their pedestals!
the inanimate objects tried to escape!
I have OFTEN thought about this one, namely how odd teeny hooks or knobby things will catch on something in a way that defies the laws of gravity and physics.
I mean, if someone stood next to you with a suitcase full of $100 bills and said they would give you 24 hours to randomly fling that cord or whatever so it would get hung up in just that way and the money would be yours, you couldn’t MAKE the fiendish thingie catch in a million tries. But every time you get the vacuum out or unroll the hose it happens spontaneously
.
And what about necklaces and chains that tie themselves in knots inside jewelry boxes when no one ever touches them?
Worse, multiple inanimate objects in your shirt pocket will conspire, and do this to you as a tag-team. Typically, when I bend over to pick up something (or for whatever reason), my glasses will fall out of the leather case in my pocket. When I bend over to pick up the glasses, the leather case will fall out. When I reach to pick that up, various other things in my pocket will fall out.
In the changing rooms here at work there are lockers with a fixed bench in front of them. The bench has slats on it and you wouldn’t believe how many people drop their coins under there. I take a look under there every week or so and it usually pays for my lunch. 
Oh yes. Or you drop something, step over to pick it up and somehow end up kicking it across the floor. Or you try to catch it with one hand before it hits the ground and instead bat it clear across the room into someone’s head.
And don’t even get me started on the keys that somehow hook everything else out of my pocket and onto the floor when I pull them out. I think I mentioned in another thread that this is one of those minor irritations that often leads to small fits of rage, flinging the rogue items onto the ground…
The headphones to my iPod have wrestling matches in my pocket, which is why they are tangled up and knotted when I pull them out.
I had been leaning toward the idea of a cloaking ability of some sort since it seemed to be more realistic (whatever “realistic” means in this context). But while reading your post, I realized that it has to be something much more sophisticated. The shear volume of items that simply disappear would eventually make their presence know - invisible or not. Disappearing works for a few things in a nook here and a cranny there, but what most of us have experienced is orders of magnitude beyond that. 
Fascinating!!! I’ve heard of such things happening but I’ve never witnessed it myself.
It seems that some objects are made with one extra, but very special ingredient - the distilled essence of pure evil. Such objects are so far beyond the reach of tiny concepts like good and evil that they are simply inscrutable. The only thing you can be certain of is that they will ruin your day, often in spectacular and legendary fashion.
Recently they seem to have been focusing on my cat. She’s a bit faster than I am and . . . . I’m so ashamed that have to admit this, but I on some level I sort of understand the entertainment value.
Oh god, I feel so dirty. Please forgive me fellow martyrs. 