Do you have a problem with inanimate objects trying to "escape?"

[Tom_Tildrum]

The philosophical theory that posits that inanimate objects act out of deliberate spite is called “resistentialism”.

[Edward_The_Head]

@Senegoid

Worse, multiple inanimate objects in your shirt pocket will conspire, and do this to you as a tag-team. Typically, when I bend over to pick up something (or for whatever reason), my glasses will fall out of the leather case in my pocket. When I bend over to pick up the glasses, the leather case will fall out. When I reach to pick that up, various other things in my pocket will fall out.

I had this happen to me last summer with my sun glasses. I had a really nice pair, I took my daughter to the portapotty and the small opening behind her butt and the seat was just big enough for them to escape through. They had never fallen off my shirt before, but that day they made a run for it. I’m just glad my cell phone wasn’t listening too.

[Corcaigh]

@dzero

I’ve noticed that ceramics seem to be mostly suicidal. I think because of their sized, they can’t flout the rules with the same abandon as smaller objects. I think it’s a little like the vampire code. They don’t care if some of us know.

And mere hours after I’d posted, didn’t a little dish do a Greg Louganis off the worktop onto the floor - as if to say “we know you told others”

hides under blankey

I think misdirection might work here. Say aloud that you want it to land somewhere else and sell it by making that seem like a plausible target. I’m betting it will go in every time. But you must remember to seem frustrated when it does.

That is genuis! Next time, I won’t aim for the bin, but for the floor!! I’ll let you know how it works out!

This sounds quite serious. And it happened in such a public place. Very uncharacteristic. I suspect something unrelated was going on and your poor cheese cake was collateral damage. Let’s hope so anyway.

It was quite disturbing, I put the bag at an angle specifically so it wouldn’t fall over, turned around, heard a whump, turned back OMG!!! asspolded cheesecake all over the place! No matter how many times I clean, there seems to be some that I missed…

Indeed. Good luck!!!

salutes thank you!

@Jackmannii

The full ones in particular, if placed in their usual recess high up in the shower, gleefully tumble over onto your feet when you have your eyes closed shampooing your hair. When you hear them start to go, you have only a split second to take evasive action.

Mine fall over when I’m not there, they take particular delight in falling over when I’m downstairs watching something alike GhostHunters or Paranormal State on TV.

@Colophon

Oh yes. Or you drop something, step over to pick it up and somehow end up kicking it across the floor. Or you try to catch it with one hand before it hits the ground and instead bat it clear across the room into someone’s head.

Yes!

I have a coffee mug that likes to reposition itself when I’m not looking - I’ll reach out to pick up the remote control and the mug will move so that it’s between my hand and the remote and I end up with coffee everywhere - it never does this when it’s empty. sneaky

[Senegoid]

@Colophon

And don’t even get me started on the keys that somehow hook everything else out of my pocket and onto the floor when I pull them out. I think I mentioned in another thread that this is one of those minor irritations that often leads to small fits of rage, flinging the rogue items onto the ground…

It’s one of the corollaries of Quantum Physics that to extract any object from a pocket, you must extract all other objects from that pocket first.

[thelabdude]

The nice thing about dogs is that they will eventually find anything that disappears. Now how good is my Lisinopril for my dog?

[Askance]

Oh yes. How is it that I can put an item on a flat surface, have it sit there unmoving for 5 or 10 minutes … then it starts slithering over and eventually falls to the floor? How is that possible? Tides in the earth? I have no idea.

[Senegoid]

@thelabdude

The nice thing about dogs is that they will eventually find anything that disappears. Now how good is my Lisinopril for my dog?

In other words, you mean, they will eventually find and eat anything that disappears. Right?

[anya_marie]

I’m having this problem. I found my tweezers and the remotes but NOW my glasses are missing and I could just scream.

Been trying to organize and store stuff properly here and i have fuck all to show for it.

[jz78817]

when I’m working on a car, any dropped item whether it be a screw, socket, or whatever will always end up under the car at the exact center. Forcing me to crawl down there and get it.

doesn’t matter if I’m working underhood or on a door.

[thelabdude]

@Senegoid

In other words, you mean, they will eventually find and eat anything that disappears. Right?

I guess I felt eat, or at least chew was so obvious I didn’t mention it. The one possible exception would be a pill they need to take. We have had at least one young Lab in the house most of the time since 1991. Some of them have not depended on things to fall off the table. Some of our sofa pillows are so clumsy that when they ‘‘fall off’’, they land clear on the other side of the room.

Oh, working on the car. Some of your more crafty sockets will roll directly behind the tire. Still difficult to reach, but only after you finally find them.

[Corcaigh]

@Askance

Oh yes. How is it that I can put an item on a flat surface, have it sit there unmoving for 5 or 10 minutes .. then it starts slithering over and eventually falls to the floor? How is that possible? Tides in the earth? I have no idea.

I can go one better, I took washing out of the machine, and put it into a plastic wash basket, I put the basket on the dining room table, then went to do something else; and completely forgot about the washing. I go back into the kitchen a few hours later and the basket falls off the table.

Invisible trip wires?

How many times can you drop your car keys between car and house? My record is four…

[Blue_Blistering_Barnacle]

@Maastricht

Oh, socks!

I have a separate part of my drawer for mismatched socks. After every laundry sorting, I make sock-rolls the Navy way. The socks that don’t have a match go in the single-sock-drawer. Every once in a while I try to make pairs out of the singles; surprisingly often, that doesn’t succeed.

Doper Lightray remarked he was amused that I was running a dating service for socks. And that I was just about as successful as any other dating service.

We call ours “the lonely hearts club”.

[Blue_Blistering_Barnacle]

@QuarkChild

I have solved The Sock Problem by wearing only one style/color of sock 98% of the time. Every once in a while it behooves me to wear dress socks, but otherwise, I always wear black Maggie’s organic cotton socks. I probably have 12 pairs of these socks, so I don’t care if one get eaten by the dryer beastie.

Note that using this method of sock acquisition, you never need to mate your socks. Just grab any two!

I have tried this. I just run three types of sock- white , dark blue, and khaki. This STILL doesn’t work, because my sock OCD gets rubbed the wrong way when the sock makes or colors (or wear) are different, AND THEY ARE DIFFERENT SOCKS! DARN IT!

[Filbert]

I resolved the sock problem by deliberately wearing mis-matched socks. They didn’t expect that, and haven’t yet worked out a response…

They’re not in charge of me.

[TR3driver]

… Doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.

[Senegoid]

@Blue_Blistering_Barnacle

We call ours [unmatched after-laundry socks] “the lonely hearts club”.

If you have Argyle socks, they would be the “Lonely Diamonds Club”

@Blue_Blistering_Barnacle

I have tried this. I just run three types of sock- white , dark blue, and khaki. This STILL doesn’t work, because my sock OCD gets rubbed the wrong way when the sock makes or colors (or wear) are different, AND THEY ARE DIFFERENT SOCKS! DARN IT!

Wait! Haven’t you just solved your own problem? When a sock gets unduly worn . . . DARN IT!

(I know Og has a place in Hell for me for writing that.)

[dzero]

I just realized something. By painting ALL inanimate objects with the same brush, how am I any better than the average bigot? Why should I assume that all of the objects that don’t participate in this taunting really want to, but for whatever reason can’t. Maybe they’re just as appalled at the sort of behavior cataloged here.

I was just pulling a couple of batteries out of the wall charger, but only needed one. Both fell (jumped, whatever) to the floor but one only rolled a couple of inches while the other one rolled out of sight. I only needed the one and I’m sure it knew that since the mouse I use likes to munch on batteries. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by guilt and remorse.

Now I want to do something to show how sorry I am, but I can’t think of anything that would be meaningful.

[thelabdude]

I have noticed it is little things that usually do it. I do remember though when I was residing my 2 story house, the hammer lost no chance to jump to the ground.

Now larger things like chairs love to wait until the room is dark and then jump out in front of you.

[Corcaigh]

@Filbert

I resolved the sock problem by deliberately wearing mis-matched socks. They didn’t expect that, and haven’t yet worked out a response…

They’re not in charge of me.

You. are. awesome.
Does anyone else ‘group’ inanimate objects so they won’t get lonely? I do it all the time, I hate to see anything sitting on a shelf all alone, so I find something to sit next to it.

[dzero]

@Corcaigh

Does anyone else ‘group’ inanimate objects so they won’t get lonely? I do it all the time, I hate to see anything sitting on a shelf all alone, so I find something to sit next to it.

Oh god yes. I used to do that before I became just another jaded foot soldier in this war. Those were happy times.

Right now I’m trying to decide if my sudden change of heart is really warranted by a single observation or if I’m just a victim of Stockholm Syndrome.