I had my camera out, and was taking pictures with some friends. One woman asked to see the pictures, so I gave her my camera and looked over her shoulder as she flipped through them on the viewer. Suddenly I see her hit ‘delete’. “Hey!” I say, “what are you doing?!” She responded that she didn’t liked the way she looked in that picture. I said she should at least ask me in the future, since it was, after all, my camera.
Not long after we’re once again taking pictures. Once again she wants to see them, but this time before handing over the camera I ask her to please NOT delete anything without asking me. “Okay, okay,” she says. Moments later I see her furiously deleting pictures, even as I grab the camera back! She becomes petulant and declares that even though it’s my camera, she has a right to control images of herself.
What do you think? These were not incriminating pictures, nor were they a surprise - they were regular, posed, “Say cheese!” kinds of snapshots. Maybe you’re reading between the lines and guessing this woman has severe body image issues, and while that’s possible, nothing else I know about her fits with that. Rather, I think she simply thinks she has the right to treat my camera as if it were her own in this regard. In my opinion, it’s my camera and while I may oblige if she asked me to delete a certain picture, it’s ultimately up to me.
If it matters, I don’t even have a FaceBook or other photo-sharing account that I would post the picture on.
Certainly she doesn’t have the legal right to demand photos of her on someone else’s camera be destroyed. Otherwise the worlds paparazzi would be out of a job.
I’d say the same for moral right. To be nice, you should try and accomidate her if she doesn’t like a given photo, but I don’t think you’d be wrong not to. Especially if it wasn’t just her in the picture. And certainly its wrong for her to use subterfuge to destroy your photos against your explicit wishes.
Certainly you should never even set your camera down around her from now on! Don’t even have it out where she can see it if she’s going to be over at your house! Keep your camera on you from now on, so she can’t pick it up and look through the pictures and delete them.
She was wrong to delete the photos, especially the second time. However, after she deleted the first time, you should have avoided taking any more shots of her.
I know - never again! That event with her happened a month or so ago, and just last night for Halloween I had my camera out and a different friend wanted to look at my pictures, causing a twinge of nervousness (which is what prompted this thread). Of course, nothing happened this time. The picture-deleter was not present.
I would’ve looked panicked when I took the camera back. I’d have quickly clicked through the pictures and then looked up grief-stricken. I would’ve then told her she had accidentally deleted the pictures I had taken at my grandmother’s birthday party. They were the last pictures we had of her before she died…
I don’t like being photographed, so I am largely on her side. If she voluntarily posed, which I seldom do, then I guess she should have let you keep the pics. Otherwise, I think she was within her rights to decide whether she wanted you to possess images of her or not.
I don’t either, but when I’m at events, and someone takes out a camera, I’m expecting to have my picture taken. If I don’t want to be included, I’ll move away.
When it’s unavoidable, well, I’ve come to terms with how I look in most photos. That’s just what I look like, I guess, and I’ve got to live with it. I’d never grab someone’s camera and delete pictures of myself, even if they looked terrible - I’ve asked them to please delete the terrible ones and try again. And if they say no, I’ve asked them to at least not post them online. If these people are friends, or even just decent people, they’re usually happy to comply with my wishes.
It’s your camera and she shouldn’t delete anything without your permission, but I can’t imagine why you’d take any more pictures of her from here on out. I’d stop.
That’s not even the point. Of course she has the right to ask Rodgers01 to delete any pictures of her that she doesn’t like. It’s another thing to grab his camera and delete them herself. Keep yer mitts to yerself and don’t touch other people’s stuff. Of course, I realize she had permission to look at the pictures on the camera. But she could have accidentally deleted pictures that were important to Rodgers01. She should have asked him to delete the pictures herself. I agree to never handing her the camera again. Or even asking her if she’d like to be in a picture in the future or stay out of frame.
She is probably hoping that someone, finally, will make a picture of her where she will look like she wants to look. So she will probably want to be in group pictures. Does she treat herself to glamour photoshots?
You could say she doesn’'t have the right to delete pictures with other people, because they might like them for the same reasons and if they ever used them, they would crop her out.
Or, if you really wanted to be kind, you could ask her what she likes in the way of her good side, a pose, the lighting. And try and follow up.
But in general, I’d say she’s being neurotic enougth to warrant therapy.
I posted a thread a while back about a related phenomenon. Loved ones who cherish a picture of us where WE think we don’'t look our best. The general consensus that aspiring models, as well as the plain neurotic, should reach a compromise with the ones who know and love how they really look .
I’m guessing if they were the posed, “Say Cheese!” kinda of pictures, not only was she rude to you, but also selfish to others. While she may have looked bad (objectively or not) in a particular picture, that could have been someone else’s best shot of the evening, or at least a picture someone else might love very much. By deleting it, she’s not deleting just her annoyance, but someone else’s little bit of enjoyment and/or happiness.
This is why sometimes multiple group pictures are taken, and when one tries to make an album, the good thing to do is pick the ones where everyone (or mostly all) look good, and discard the bad ones (unless so bad they’re funny). If you’re her friend, she must have then some trust that you wouldn’t pass those pictures around.
I think one of the problems is that many people refuse to delete the pictures and do post them on facebook.
Maybe what she did was rude, but it’s probably after some bad experiences. How is she to know and be sure that you are different?
I’ve had pictures posted to facebook that I’d rather not have on there. They weren’t particularly embarrassing, but sometimes you just don’t want that particular picture to be on the internet forever, and people are often not at all obliging when you ask them to take it down.
I don’t think there is any reason to be mean or rude to this woman. Just make the rules clear: she can’t hold the camera, but you’ll delete pictures that she is really and legitimately uncomfortable with.
I hate having my picture taken so I avoid it whenever possible. Since I already know I’m going to look bad in the picture I can’t very well complain if I pose and the pictures turns out bad, 'bause I knew that going in. I would say that if I say cheese and let you take my picture then I don’t have any right to delete the pictures. If I told you I don’t want my picture taken and you do it anyway, then I think I have the right to smash your camera and stomp on the remains.
I agree with those who say not to let her touch the camera, and not to take any photos in which she appears. But instead of just telling her to move, I would specify, “Please move, because you don’t like to be in any pictures I take.”
Though I’ve never made a big deal over it, I’d say this is the best approach. Any time I’ve not been pleased with a photo, I simply ask to take another one. If a given image will eventually be used for some reason, I state my preference, and usually the rest aren’t seen again.
Worst case, you take a bad photo and laugh at it, later.
